Scene #2782: Mistakes Were Maybe

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Takashi Agera	"CONGRATULAAAAATIONS." shouted the clown-faced maniac as he burst into Riventon's office through a sliding bookcase door that was absolutely not, usually, a sliding bookcase door. Actually, Takashi isn't even sure that section of wall is normally even a bookcase. "What do you want?!" asked Takashi, looking up from the splayed out parts on his desk. "I'm busy." "I said it when I showed up. Congratulations! That's why I'm here." Joker said, passing Takashi a bottle of wine in with a fancy red bow. "You deserve it, you've finally DONE IT." "I don't want your honey-dayquil-flavored wine nonsense, Joker." Takashi says, coldly. "If you want a fight you can just say so." he says, getting up slowly. "No fight, no trick." Joker says, rolling up his sleeves to reveal slightly thinner sleeves underneath them, of course. "I just wanted to congrtulate you on finding your true inner self. I could feel it. Recently. You became more like ''us''. Less like ''them''." the speaker of Pierott said. "Pierott-sama could feel it too, I think." Takashi did not seem to back down and Joker held up his hands. "Ah, you haven't come to grips with it yet. Fair, fair. I'll come by and see if you're ready to celebrate later." the Clown says. "Or you can celebrate on your own." he says, gesturing to the wine. And then detonating into an explosion of playing cards (each The Joker, of course) which faded away. "More like him... huh..." Takashi said, looking at the bottle of wine. "Gotta be one of his jokes." A few moments later, after testing the wine, Takashi is calling someone. In this case, Hotaru Tomoe. "Hotaru-chan? I haven't seen you since... the messy bit... do you want to grab ice cream? Smoothies?" he tried.
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe had been at home, watching television... but when the call came? She had been laying in the most AWESOME BED IN THE WORLD... And froze. "Takashi-san..." she mumbled softly. Takashi... san. Had she ever called him that? Surely she had. She must have. Except... Then he asked if she wanted to meet. And there was a long, long, loooooong pause. There'd always been excited talk, a giddy 'I'll be there soon!' Or her running off to go talk to someone to ask for permission, at worst... This time, there was silence. Before, finally... "I... don't think that would be a good idea... right now..." she finally said. And there wasn't anybody else she'd asked, nobody else, seemingly, stopping her. Just... Her quiet... reserved... ... "I don't... feel like I should... be alone with you right now..."
Takashi Agera	The sound of Hotaru's voice, her uneasiness, her wariness, and her turning down ice cream hit Takashi at least as hard as any given punch from his own brother. His end of the line was quiet for a moment. "...Oh." he said, after a moment, pausing. He paused and wasn't really sure how to reply to it. After a moment he sat the phone up tilted against his computer monitor. "How about we... do video then? So we can see each other but you know, you don't have to like... be anywhere unsafe." he offers, slowly. And then after his eyes drift to the wine, and then back to the camera, he makes a big, big sigh. "I may have... somewhat... messed up..."
Sailor Saturn	While she wasn't comfortable being alone with him at the moment... talking on video with him? That she could do. "Sure, give me... three minutes," she said. That their house was more than equipped to handle. Especially since well... Luminous Titan called him soon. Sure, no longer a device, but still a decent AI and one of her good friends. And he'd see her, kneeling on her bed in a... well, cute little outfit. It looked like a tomato shirt? Fashion these days. "Hey," Hotaru said, giving a small, nervous little wave. Before... "And... I... think you... did." << Affirmative >>
Takashi Agera	Takashi waves back and in a small way it almost mirrors Hotaru's awkward wave, like he's not sure what to do. And his face for just a moment turns into a bit of a scowl because Luminous Titan is giving him grief too. First that puffed up pompous prince and now a Device he built that's basically a glorified day planner at this point? How annoying. But he lets it fade pretty quickly. "Yeah, I'm using a phone because Axion is staying on me now. Forever now. That was a big part of the mistake... I went into a situation I knew would be emotional without my version of Luminous Titan to help me manage my energy." <<AFFIRMATIVE>> added Axion. You too, he thought? Watch yourself, robot, you're on my arm. "Look, it was a bad situation that went bad because I made bad choices around it. I recognize that."
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe nodded, listening to him. She seemed, at least, to be hearing him out. Listening to every word. Watching him... Measuring her words... Finally... she seemed to make her choice. "Takashi-san..." "You're a lot smarter than Beryl was... why did you care about her rock?" Hotaru asked. "It obviously meant a lot to them... so... why did you care so much about it?" she asked softly. "I... don't understand why you wanted it enough that... it come to this..." Hotaru hugged her pillow to her chest. "I don't understand why... it pushed you to this point... Why you hurt your brother... of all people... attack him... hurting him... why..."
Takashi Agera	Takashi shakes his head rapidly. "No, no, I didn't attack him over the rock." he says. "He pushed me to the edge with the words said, the rock wasn't really relevant anymore. It was about him trying to control me, and trying to say he knew better. That's all the rock ever did. If he came to me politely or anything, but he started making threats and treating me like a child and I hated it." he admits. "I wasn't even thinking about the rock by the end of it. It's just a gem, sure it channeled her power and maybe it seemed like her, but that was a matter of wavelengths and resonance. And I was really careful about not letting any of the energy possibly backwash into me." he says. "...I didn't realize the depth of how much I cared, and how much words from him could piss me off." he says after a pause. "And that meant I misjudged how dangerous that fight was, without Axion, without my limiter. I attacked him because..." Another sigh. "You remember over the ocean, when I couldn't duskport away?" Takashi asks her, carefully not even mentioning what she did, still out of respect for her. "You weren't yourself. And I stopped being myself for a little bit there. And that's... I didn't like that. I don't like not being in control." Understatement of the year.
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe was very, very quiet then. It wasn't that she couldn't remember it. Oh, she couldn't forget that one. She knew exactly what happened then. How close she'd come to... causing a lot of damage. A lot of hurt. A ton of people in Obsidian, people who weren't part of the darker side, might have been hurt by her then. "You called it my three mile island accident," Hotaru said. "You stepped in to stop it." And no, he didn't like not having control. He was Riventon. Riventon ALWAYS had to be in control. Always had to be the boss. Always had to be the mastermind. The big guy. The master. The person in charge. Always, no matter what, had to be in control... And if he wasn't, he got... so upset. But this time, he hadn't been... And it... scared her. "I never thought you'd try to hurt him like that... or me..." Hotaru said softly. "If... my other side hadn't stepped in..." she said softly. "Terrible things could have happened. It was... like looking in a mirror. When I was... that... thing. Except... it wasn't even Mistress 9 anymore... it was... you. I'd never been scared of you before, senpai..."
Takashi Agera	Takashi paused. He was able to see her face; the tone of her voice would have been hard, but in the video call, he could see it clearly on her face. "Hotaru-chan..." he began. But then he paused. He both knew he needed to be careful, not just because he has a scared girl but to save his own reputation with her and people he knew she interacted with. For all of his bluster, Riventon knew there was such a thing as 'drawing too much threat' - he'd seen the aftermath, in Paris, after all. "You're right." he said after a moment. "Three Mile Island for me." Riventon had always been fond of using nuclear energy as an analogy for Dark Energy - dangerous in the wrong hands, even world-destroying; but also capable of wonderful and amazing things if properly controlled by experts (which was of course basically him). "I disregarded my own safety protocols and didn't treat myself as dangerous as I was, and so I was away from Axion. That was my mistake." He admitted. "I wouldn't have thought I'd ever be a risk of that either, but I've also had Axion on my arm, monitoring me, helping me avoid going off like that, for years. That was my mistake, thinking he couldn't push my buttons quite like that. Well... that's not true... I didn't think he would be that foolish. Of course of anyone he'd know the worst things to say - just didn't think he'd say them."
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe gave a small nod. "I... understand that when you're Riventon and we're... in henshin, fighting happens, and then things happen. That you have to do things," Hotaru said. "I know that you are sometimes being watched. Sometimes you have to do things, or play a role you don't want to. That you don't always have the luxury of doing what you'd like to do." "... But... when out of henshin... When it was just us. When it was... civilians... your family... I never would have thought... you would... could..." Hotaru said... clenching her fists. Closing her eyes. "I'm scared, Takashi-san... Because... The... Riventon I know... wouldn't... have done that... would never have done that... not to his brother, even if pushed... And it scared me... I don't know what to do about it... does it mean I don't know you... does it mean... I never knew you... or does it mean... you're... changing into... something else now..." "...You're the one I'd reach out to ask for help about this... but you're the one I'm scared of... for..."
Takashi Agera	"I don't know if this will make it better or worse but I didn't KNOW I could be pushed to a point where I could access that kind of power, that level of power, out of henshin." he says. "If I knew what I knew now, I'm sure I wouldn't have let Lacrima-san hold onto Axion." he says. "I'll never let that happen again. Been giving serious consideration to surgically connecting it in or something." he admits. "I know I need some sort of internal limiter, like what you had for Luminous Titan, but in a way where I can never be parted from it." He pauses, and tries, gently, to make a little joke. To see her smile. "I mean, I can fly, so it's not like I need to worry about going through airport security anyways." "I'm still the same Takashi, and the same Riventon. There was just bleed over in a way I didn't expect. But really, really. I've already been doing work to mitigate this new risk. And I won't let that guy get under my skin like that again. There's nobody else I've known since single-digit childhood who can put me at that sort of risk. And even still I'm going to take precautions."
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe gave a small nod. Quiet. Thinking. Staring at him. Then... "You... know this is an issue, then... How dangerous this is. Can be. How dangerous you can be. This can't happen again..." Her gaze softened. "... I never thought... I'd see you of all people lose control like that, senpai... I... froze up... If not for... the other side taking over..." "... I just... I don't know... I'm just... scared..." she whispered. "I don't want... that... to happen again, is all. So please... don't... I guess. I'll... I just... are... are you actually... ummmm... jealous.... of her?" Hotaru asked, looking up at him.
Takashi Agera	Takashi nods along, at least playing the part of someone who takes this Very Seriously. And every so often he looks at the bottle of wine on his desk and it reminds him that he ''does'' need to be a person who takes this Very Seriously. But surely - well, he's Takashi Agera. This is merely a slip up, he can regain every drop of control he had, right? A little mistake. Not one that means a sea change, right? "I'm glad she took over. I didn't want to seriously hurt anyone. I wasn't myself." the word Seriously was doing a lot of work there. "But like... you were part of the precautions I did take, you know that, right? You can heal people and protect. You were part of the plan, the precautions. Even though I didn't think it was really as much of a problem, a risk, as it turned out to be. I overprepared and that's why there was still no long-term damage done. You knew that, right?" he asks. "I always overprepare." and then he almost choked visibly when Hotaru asked her last question. "Surely, you don't think I've changed THAT severely, do you? There's not another human or creature on this or any world I'm jealous of. I'm lucky enough to be Takashi Agera and I wouldn't be anybody else. I'm not jealous of anyone. I just think I get an unfair rap sometimes. I think he wanted me to go off to justify that, maybe..."
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe gave a small nod, staring at him. "I... see," she said softly. Staring at him. Watching him. Blinking a little. Watching him. Intently. "And what he said... I imagine it would upset you a lot... I think that was the point, though. He was trying to upset you... it was a fight, after all..." she said softly. "You two were fighting. You two agreed to a fight. With words and fists. I... was listening. And if I had been fighting in there... no. I wasn't even a part of it and I wanted to cry a bit.... I hated listening to it. But it was a fight you both agreed to... and then... when things got too far with words, senpai... you pulled a gun." "... I think... that was the point... that when push came to shove... you would lose control. And stop being my senpai..." And judging by the way Hotaru was acting? She was wondering, now, if it was true.
Takashi Agera	"Look the core problem here is... I'm more powerful than I thought I was. I didn't think I could access that kind of power without Axion, and now I know I can, so I know that handing off Axion is the opposite of a safety measure. That's new information. I'm factoring that in." Riventon says, sighing. "I am truly, truly sorry it happened. If I thought there was a real chance of it happening I'd have never agreed to it in the first place." "I didn't know I had anything more than fists at my disposal. I thought the 'gun' in this analogy was what I had given to Norie-chan. My ability to use Dark Energy outside of henshin hasn't been that strong, not outside of the Dusk Zone itself." Some of that is... a little bit incorrect. He knew he had the power enough to hurt people... but the magnitude he had and the speed at which he accessed it, without conscious thought, was new. And a little worrying. "I mean that's a circumstance that will never ever happen again. Even he won't be able to get under my skin like that, because I've stopped caring what he thinks. Clearly that's too dangerous. And obviously, having Axion away from me is a bad idea. So that won't happen, either. But there's never going to be a circumstance that replicates those variables. So there will never be an outcome that replicates them again, either."
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe gave a small nod. "I was more powerful too," she said. "And that... wasn't a good thing. But... I want to trust you, Takashi-san. Please... be careful. Please... make sure to keep what happened in mind and don't let it happen again." And she did look more relaxed, at least. "As long as you know how important this event is..." Key word was 'did'. Until he said the worst thing. "... Is that really the lesson you're taking from this?" she asked. "... To stop caring what your brother thinks?"
Takashi Agera	Takashi also looked relieved, until he didn't. "...I feel like 'yes' isn't the answer you're looking for on this one." he says after a moment of looking at her. And sounding a little perplexed. "Look, I mean. I guess he's my brother and I'll always care a little bit about him, but... you know, what hurt the most is I thought he was like... better than that. Smarter. Like, he's been around me his whole life. Since before either of us knew what our powers were. When I'd fall asleep and wake up in the Dusk Zone, and I had to find my way back to this side, one of the the things I used to bring me back to this world was the connection we shared. We were that close, Hotaru-chan." And that's a whole lot of pasttense. "And so because of that I expected him to be the person who'd understand me. But it turns out he doesn't get it... like, at all." he says, his voice actually going from incensed and dramatic to... low, slow, hurt. "That hurt. It's the hurt that let the anger in. The anger let the power in. So yeah. I shouldn't put his opinion of me on a different level, not above yours, or my girlfriend's, or my coworkers, or the other people that care about me and show it a lot more clearly. And I did, which was clearly a big damn mistake. Because despite being the person who I thought was in the best position to see the real me he... clearly isn't any more. And because I felt like he was, the words he said hurt, like they wouldn't from other people." "I mean I'm trying to repair relationships here now, but I shouldn't need to repair them, because I shouldn't have gone off."
Sailor Saturn	Hotaru Tomoe softened her gaze slightly when she looked at him. And... a part of him wanted to reach out to him. She nodded. "That's... scary," she finally said. "When... that happens. When... when it all happened. I didn't know what to do. I was so... frightened and confused. I didn't know what to do. I needed to do something, though. I... never imagined..." "... But in this situation... I realized you were the person I'd go to. And I couldn't... and I started to write so many messages to you... and I wasn't sure what to do. And I was scared... and you called me. But..." She was quiet for a few moments then. "When the person you turn to is the person you need to turn to about being afraid, it's... hard to know what to do, or how to do it," she finally said. "And... I think... that's... what you need to do... not... today. Because I know it'll be hard. But... I think... I think possibly... as the biggest precaution... maybe more important than Axiom... I think you need to tell Mamoru... this. When... you feel you can," Hotaru said, before she reached out, then stopped. "... Do you want to go get shakes?" It seemed, if nothing else... Some repairs had been done.
Takashi Agera	"Hotaru, I'm very sorry I lost control and scared you." Takashi says, looking into the screen. And this isn't him putting on a performance. He genuinely is. Her reaction cut him to the core. Much like Mamoru's, but with a different response from him. And with Joker's gift... well... that hadn't helped. "I'm... glad that even though you've gotten out of Obsidian and everything has changed, you still consider me someone worth coming to for things." he says. "But right now I don't even want to talk about him, or imagine his stupid... fricking... face." he says, censoring himself for her benefit. "It's gonna be a long time before I wanna talk TO him. And I figure this is what he wanted anyways, you know? He wanted me to be angry to prove some kinda point, so now he can go be smug about it and tell everybody who I am." "Yeah, let's go get shakes. I want to do that while I can still go out without getting dirty looks or worse from every RHM kid that's got a corgi to give them a magic rock."