263/Windy Worries

From Radiant Heart MUSH

Windy Worries
Date of Scene: 19 August 2023
Location: Cafeteria Plaza
Synopsis: Takashi finally gets Darien to stay in one place long enough to be anxious at him.
Cast of Characters: Takashi Agera, Mamoru Chiba


Takashi Agera has posed:
    Takashi is up on the rooftop of Radiant Heart Academy. Just because school is out of session doesn't mean the cafateria is - which means the rooftops remain as accessible and functional as they ever have. Sometime after walking out of the ocean recently, he'd started to pester Mamoru about meeting him to talk. Not just about that - really, whatever interaction Zoisite had with Hotaru, it probably had only a little to do with him.

    It's not a 'bento box' style discussion, it is a 'Takashi has a bag of fast food and is halfway through a burger when Mamoru gets up there' kind of talk. "Oh, did you actually manage to fight your way free of your entourage? I honestly half expected to have to shoo away one of them." he says, casually.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Ma--Darien gets up there and he's actually got a spring in his step, and he's actually cheerful, and he actually has a real grin for Takashi the second he sees him, and it doesn't have anything to do with reaching for the bag of fast food to see if there are any fries to steal.

It's not that Darien's been too terribly hard to locate, just that he's been more busy than usual, probably because his 'actually be at work' time has shifted to the morning while school is out and he's trying to do ALL the social things with ALL the people and that's a lot of people.

"I just got told I need to spend more time with Pyrite," he says, dropping himself down next to Takashi. "I mean not just-just, but yesterday. Apparently she's making necessary personnel fail saves against SAN checks. So if you can't get me alone it's because I have a shadow. She's not in my shadow right now."

Takashi Agera has posed:
    There are, in fact, fries to steal. Well, less steal and more Takashi wisely got extra fries, which he attempts to pass to Mamoru. It's as much of a goodwill gesture as it is a protective one - this way he loses less of his own fries. "Yeah, a shadow, a roommate, 3 walking HR violations of different kinds, a crush... you're a busy guy." Takashi says, and he doesn't sound exactly pleased.

    "I know you don't remember this, but for the vast majority of my life, I haven't exactly had to set up appointments." he continues, gesturing a bit with his now 1/4th left hamburger. "It's kind of annoying." he continues. "But that's not actually what I'm here to talk about. I'm more worried about... the way you've been acting for some time now, since before school let out."

    "The hell is wrong with you lately?" Well there was a question with a lot of answers that the two boys there were quite ill-equipped to answer. And he doesn't elucidate on exactly which of the answers he's seeking, he just looks at Mamoru before cramming the rest of the burger into his mouth grumpily.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Wait are you jealous? Because I'm pretty sure everyone else is jealous too, and I have literally no idea what to do to keep everyone happy," says Darien as he takes the fries, and he doesn't sound like he's making fun. He sounds like he's actually upset. "You can have a roommate too. And if you want your very own murderghost, I'll help you find one! That just didn't seem like your style."

He was always upset when people were upset, and he thought it was his fault. He doesn't remember that either.

"Okay-- okay, if that's not what you want to talk about, what do you mean what's wrong with me?" He's holding the fry box too tightly. "I'm constantly juggling table saws in a grease fire, is that what you mean? I'm stressed because someone on my team decided to make a plan to literally ruin a place I really, really like, where a lot of people I like live, and I had to pretend to like it because something was looking. I'm stressed because I keep feeling like everything is sifting away through my hands -- but one thing just went right, I think, and also my crush doesn't hate me yet, and Counselor Inai hasn't been giving me shit lately, and --"

Darien pauses in his laundry list of what's wrong with him to Look at Takashi, and he slow-grins. "Do you need a hug?"

Takashi Agera has posed:
    "Pass on the murderghost, I've been given a terribly adorable Dark Energy Bomb to defuse." Not that defusing it was the goal of putting Hotaru in his care, but... "...which, by the way, your employee Zoisite set off somehow so I had to evac her before she took the whole Tower with her." he adds, at which point his phone buzzes. He pulls it out, reads a text, and looks up to the sky. "Oh, very funny. Screw you, universe." he adds. "One moment, I think my murderghost is texting me - not Hotaru." Takashi taps out a text back.

    "So, back to Zoisite. And Nephrite. And Jadeite. I could tell you hated that Midnight Froyo plan back in the meeting room, but you didn't say squat. I didn't say anything because I was the second most junior level in the room just in front of the kid, and it's not my department. But you are allegedly their boss. Paid like it, too. Why didn't you shoot that shit down? What do you mean something was looking?"

    "Man, you're starting to feel like you're a blanket that's fraying at the edges but you keep tugging on the thread and unraveling it more. Have you considered maybe you should be focusing on getting yourself and your team in order before you go chasing after the girl with the plate of spaghetti and meatballs for hair? Also, Counselor Inai? If you started seeing the school therapist for all of this instead of me I'm gonna be even more annoyed. She doesn't even know you or know what's going on, this isn't even jealousy, it's annoyed confusion, I'm not sure why you'd be trying to talk to someone not in the know before you talked to, you know, your oldest friend."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"She won't get off my back about working for Obsidian. Like it's a big conglomerate, it's supposed to be everyone's dream to get a job someplace like this out of high school, right? But in high school? I half wonder if she used to work for Obsidian at some point." Darien goes from upset to thoughtful pretty quickly, and then to talking with his mouth full and his hand in front of it, because the fries are starting to get cold. "And Zoisite's not my employee. But I'm responsible for his fuckups, so please tell me what he did so I can be responsible for it."

Then he stretches out his legs and looks blankly at the fries in his hands for a second. "Did you see their eyes? When their eyes changed, during the meeting? When they got red in them, did you see that?"

Takashi Agera has posed:
    "So what, you have all of the responsibility of his boss but none of the power? Sounds like a shit situation." Takashi says, pointing a french fry at Mamoru. "Still, I think they'd listen if you told them not to do something. Even if not from a strictly business relationship."

    "Also, look..." he says, stuffing a fry in his mouth and pausing to read a text and send two back. "Sorry. Anyways. If I started to get ancy over anytime wierd shit happened to somebody in Obsidian I would never calm down. I mean, Riventon has glowy red eyes too." he says, pointing with two fingers at has face. "They were probably just too hopped up on Dark Energy at the time. Doing the Evil Excitement thing some of the other folks in Obsidian do."

    "Nobody really manages this stuff as well as I do. You know, I always kind of thought somebody here would. But instead we have dabblers and then crazy psycho monsters."

    Then he looks down at his own box of fries. "I kinda hoped when you started doing the whole dark energy fighter thing that you'd like. Be able to work alongside me. But you never got the knack for it, the understanding of it. You just have the ability to unconsciously wield it, same as most."

    He pauses. "At least now you can share Duskfruit with me. Oh man, I remember the first time I tried to bring you some. That did not go well." He pauses again.

    "That was probably before you remember. It burned your mouth. I remember you trying to scrape the residue of it off your tongue with a spoon... It's funnier in retrospect than it was at the time. I just wanted you to have more food, cause you gave half of yours to that sick kid. Then it turns out for you it wasn't food at the time."

    "Things are better now, though. Right? Now you can eat Duskfruit and go into the Zone with me. Not that you find a whole lot of time for that." He finishes by tilting his head back and pouring the last of his fries from the box into his mouth. "But it's better like this in a lot of ways, too." he adds. "...'cept for the fact that it seems like part of you is still uncomfortable with it."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Things are better in some ways," allows Darien, who -- after all that -- has finished his fries. "Maybe if I remembered everything you do, this would be easier. Or maybe it would be worse. If it made things worse, I could always forget again, though, right? I want to be happy, I want to spend time with you -- and with everyone else I like -- and I want to keep everyone I care about safe, and I can't do that."

His feet dangle off the edge again, and he kicks them idly against the building's side, looking out at the tree-line. "It was more than that. It doesn't happen when they get excited. It's something I don't want to happen to me. It's something else watching from inside them, and I don't want it to notice it hasn't got me. So-- just so you know-- the plan's not going to work. I still know how to talk to Beryl." He makes a sour face. "And there's plenty I tell them not to do and they don't do it. Just-- don't worry about that one, it's my problem."

Finally, the black-haired boy pulls himself up and inward, a bit, crossing his legs and slouching his shoulders, folding and re-folding the empty fry container. "I can't finesse dark energy like you can. But it makes sense, doesn't it? Given-- what I used to play with. I do my best, though. I got it so that the excess isn't eating at me from the inside, it's coiled as a weapon if anyone tries to get their hands on me. Here, it shouldn't bother you though, it's just dark energy-- just to see what it does now--"

And he holds out his hand, ungloved, after he brushes some salt off it on his jeans.

He doesn't remember all the times he healed like this, he doesn't remember all the things he was able to show Takashi like this just by thinking about them, he doesn't remember calming people down with a touch, he doesn't remember being able to feel other people's emotions.

He doesn't remember that his touch should feel like some kind of warm den in the winter, banked fire, a candle in a window-- something safe and homelike. Maybe Takashi does.

If Takashi does take his hand, he will feel two years worth of corruption and Mamoru fighting it warring it out under his skin like worms and wasps and fire-ants. He will feel just dark energy, but the way Mamoru thinks is normal.

Takashi Agera has posed:
    Takashi tilts his head. "If you're concerned about them being possessed or me, you should tell me. I can help. Tomoe trusts me enough to help his daughter. Which is why the tower is still standing, mind you. And it's not because of my winning personality, Shields-san." he adds with a small smile. "It's because however smart you think I am, I'm much smarter than that. Especially when it comes to anything related to the Dusk Zone, Dark Energy, any of that. So if you're worried about some entity inside your crew trying to get at you, maybe let your genius best friend in on it. Before I have to wring it out of you like this? Jeeze."

    "I'm glad you've got a handle on Midnight Faygo. I just call it The Stupid Plan, because it is. I trust you but it's the sort of thing where I'm going to have contingency plans to kneecap it, too. Plus, Hotaru-chan made me promise." he says, shrugging, as though that makes him just helpless."

    The phone buzzes and he replies once more. "Anyways, I'm glad you mentioned being able to handle Beryl because I have a favor to ask of..." he says, as he's reaching out to touch Mamoru's hand for the first time in some time, for the first time since he's changed. But he's cut off when he makes the connection.

    He actually pushes himself to stick connected far longer than he'd like, but eventually jerks his hand away. "Dude, no. Did you get the bad Dark Energy? Did you go around draining from Witches or something?" He pauses.

    Takashi is, after all, a genius even by outside estimations, and puts some things together quickly. He can't SAY anything yet though. He doesn't have the full picture. But something is Wrong. He quickly sorts himself to get control of his external situation - his facial features. "Mmm. You should just find the nearest sparkleskirt and blast *all* of this energy at them. And then go find some different energy. You need to do like, whatever a Dark Energy Detox, a purge-binge or something."

    "It feels like it's waging a full scale war inside you. No co-existence at all. In me it's like two girls having a slap fight. What I felt right there is like two nations that brought tanks and planes and artillery." He shakes his head.

    "No wonder you're out of sorts and worried about everything." He pauses. Looks down. Looks up. "...And what, you're actively trying to add the emotional chaos of a relationship onto that? You need to sort this shit out before you go complicating your emotions. You know what happens to people who let this battle overtake them. You know how I ended up a damn orphan, right? You went with me to get my mother's research files. And that happened AFTER you changed your damn name." Takashi is actually getting more than a little emotional.

    "I knew you were reckless with your own safety but this really is on a whole other level." Is he sad, worried, or just upset? Yes, actually.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
There's a flinch back when Takashi pulls his hand away from Mamoru, and Darien looks a little stiff for a moment, and even while Takashi's still talking he looks like he's not sure which way to feel about it. He folds his arms in a way that he hasn't in years and years, a way that keeps his hands out of sight, untouchable.

"I exist," he says bluntly, finally, "and that's dangerous. Existing is dangerous. Trying to exist in a way that makes you happy is worth it, isn't it? If it turns out she's safe, I might even try and recruit her."

A beat, and Darien looks away. "I won't. But saying I might sounds good. There's stuff I'm afraid to say out loud, Takashi-kun. Not just because something might be watching, but because someone might hear and it'll get back to someone who'll tell. There's stuff I'm afraid to tell you because it'll scare and disappoint you and you might decide I need fixing, and I don't want anybody fixing me when I already don't remember things that happened."

He really is all turtled up, there on the roof. It really is body language Takashi hasn't seen since the orphanage. He really is scared. "This is how it's been since I can remember. This isn't any different from the first time Beryl granted me energy, gave me the ability to collect it. If this isn't how it's supposed to be, maybe there's something wrong with me that no one can fix anyway. So. Fuck it, it's just..."

Darien lets all his breath out at once in an explosive sigh, then rubs his face under his glasses, then takes his glasses off. "What favor do you need from Beryl?"

Takashi Agera has posed:
    It's Takashi's turn to take his glasses off and pinch the bridge of his nose. "It's your continued existence under these circumstances that I'm worried about, Shields-san. Life's dangerous, yeah. Crossing the street is dangerous, but that doesn't mean you should run out into moving traffic. There are levels of risk, and yours feels dire."

    "You don't need to be worried about dissapointing me, you need to worry about discorporating in front of me and turning into a braindead youma. You think I'm going to stand by and do nothing while you try to sign your own exit papers?" he asks, crossing his arms. "I'm sorry but you made the decision to deal with me before you remember and you're stuck with it. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do yet - but nothing isn't on the table. When nobody else would deal with me cause I was the wierd kid with the shadows, you stuck around. You might be the only reason I didn't turn into an adorable yet vicious little miniyouma, when I was still figuring out how to manage myself... So you really couldn't convince me to NOT help." he says, firmly.

    "Sometimes it's not about what you want, Shields-san. It's about what you need. People want to do stupid things all the time. Doesn't mean they should, or should be allowed to. Doesn't mean you should stand by and let them. Some mistakes are too big to come back from, you know? But let me be clear - I don't care if you remember our past or not. It's still not something I'm gonna let you walk away from or self-destruct."

    He sighs. "Well, try not to youma yourself until I figure it out. Godddd I need a bigger lab." he says, putting his glasses back on. "Anyways, look. On Beryl. I can't stay under Mimette's group forever, she's an airhead and I'm wasted here. I'm working on - it's not done yet but I'm working on a proposal for a research and retrieval team and... Long story short do you think you could get her to approve a proposal about that? As far as I know she doesn't really stick her nose into research anyways, so it won't be as hard as some of the others... plus I know a guy." Mamoru, of course, being 'a guy'.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien's silent for a moment. Then, "This is all coming from the guy I have to fish out of firefights because he yells 'come at me bro' while bleeding from everywhere," he says with a chokey little laugh, looking away. "Don't make any decisions for me, please, that's what I'm trying to avoid. But I'll get Beryl to sign, no worries."

A beat. "Ahh... about space for a bigger lab. Do you like surprises?" He half-turns to look hopeful at Takashi.

Takashi Agera has posed:
    "Look, I brought you up here to lecture you, not to let you lecture me." Takashi says. "...Actually I didn't bring anybody up here to lecture anybody, I just didn't realize your Dark Energy was wrapped around your linker core like a hornet's nest." he continues. "Hell, maybe it IS like that for everybody but me, you know? I think you're the only person in Obsidian with the touch-connection-thing though. I'll have to take readings and compare them." he adds. Takashi does not ask for permission to take said readings. Try and stop him.

    "...I don't usually like surprises that aren't from me, no. Surprises mean I didn't calculate or plan something right." Takashi is actually surprised pretty often. Just rarely to his benefit. "...on a scale of one to ten how worried should I be?"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Maybe a 2, but it's a present from me so possibly either a 1 or a 3 depending on how much you trust me," says Darien, happy to completely turn the subject away from dark energy and his own linker core. And also lecturing. "I can just tell you if you're worried anyway? None of your stuff got or will get messed with."

Takashi Agera has posed:
    Takashi sighs. "Well if you're intent on surprising me it might as well be a surprise so you can get it out of your system, right? Otherwise you'll just try to surprise me again later." he says. He knows how people work. "I'm not super worried, really. I can probably handle a 1-3. Hotaru-chan nearly detonating into a giant seething void of Dark Energy in our workplace was my Surprise Level 10 for the month though, let's avoid any more of those."

    He pauses. "Speaking of, please speak to Zoisite about that? Hotaru doesn't remember what was said, and it's probably relevant. But she might not need to hear it again, you know?"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"I wouldn't try to surprise you again later!" Darien protests, then looks sidelong. "Except I might, if I forget you told me you don't like surprises." It turns into a shiteating grin--

--which does not stay that way. He nods firmly. "I can't promise I'll get anything lucid out of him, but whatever I can get, you'll have. I have no idea why their paths even crossed. Hotaru needs more video games, though, so I'm hoping he wasn't her hookup for them."

Takashi Agera has posed:
    Takashi's phone buzzes once more and he reads it. "Well, I have to go meet a different quiet misunderstood girl." he says, standing up and grabbing Mamoru's empty fry box so he can ball it all up and take it with him to trash it.

    "Yeah, I'll take her shopping soon too. She probably needs some time as a normal girl to offset all of the chaos." he admits. "Just remember if you surprise me too much I'll surprise you back." Takashi says before getting up and casually hopping off the side of the building, like this is a normal thing kids do.