View source for How to choose a home… (Hinoiri Kirara)

{{Cutscene Header
|Date of Scene=2024/05/06
|Location=Radiant Heart Campus
|Synopsis=Hinoiri has to consider everything she's done and, more importantly, why it had to be done. Does a home lie ahead for her, or just more loneliness? Which place can she truly call home anymore? (How to be alone song parody)
|Cast of Characters=131
}}
Hinoiri looked out over the campus of RHA and just… stared. The sun would be rising soon, but she’d woken up early and hadn’t been able to fall back to sleep no matter how hard she tried. She found her mind going back to the events of the last year. It had almost been a year now since she’d fled the only home she’d ever known and come here.

She thought about Catra, who she was teaching magic to. Who was learning, growing. Who had others pursue her, to save her. Had been worthy of being followed. Hinoiri thought about Sayaka, Rashmi, Amy, Usagi, so many of these girls… who wanted to help her. To save her. Who didn’t even know who she was, yet wanted to offer her a hand. She thought about Double Trouble, the one who wanted… her. Just her. Who loved her. Who had cried over her.

Why did it have to turn out like this? Why couldn’t these girls have been at her home? When she’d needed them? Why couldn’t they be as uncaring as the people back home?

… Why couldn’t Sora feel like this towards her? Why couldn’t she care as much as these girls she’d only just met?

She could hear the music beginning and she let it slowly take over.


“Early morning hours got me thinking of your face,

and I can’t sleep much longer without you here.

I keep waking up and tossing, turning,

telling myself this is learning

I don’t have to be alone this year.”


Hinoiri didn’t have to be alone. Not anymore. Not here. She wondered if Sora would read a letter if she sent it. Told her of her friends. Would she be proud of her? Would she even care? Would the letter end up in the garbage?


“And when it comes to friends I’m doing so well.

I’m being so brave, but I think everyone can tell, I’m not fine.

I miss you all the time...

I’m f-fine.

I just miss you all the time.”


Hinoiri stroked a finger along the railing. Was she being selfish? She’d had… well. She’d sometimes shared Sora’s attention. Her focus. But Sora was the ruler of all Kirakirafantastica. It was hardly fair to expect her to watch over everything going on there and notice her protege, right? Heck, she likely had just as much of her focus now as she did then. And she had friends now. She had people who wanted to know her. Who liked her.

So why did her heart hurt so much and why did she want to go back? Slowly, she sunk down to her knees and laid her head against the railing.


“I can’t help but wonder what I did to make you let me go.

I guess they say all good things gotta end.

And I can only hope that I can make it back on my own,

Rising to my place atop the throne.”


A few tears slid down Hinoiri’s cheeks, onto the ground. Did she want to go home? Were they right? Would going home just make her more miserable? She just… wanted Sora to see her. She wanted Sora to love her. She tried to ignore it, but she couldn’t. She wanted…

She wanted somewhere she’d belong. Why was that so wrong? She’d had a place at Sora’s side. She’d thrown her all into it. She’d done everything and everything she could to be the best student. And she’d been rewarded… with rejection.


“And all the books say I’m doing it right,

but on the long days, the books don’t fill my world with light.

It’s fine, I just miss you all the time.

It’s fine, I miss you all the time.

All the time, all the time, all the time.”


Hinoiri slowly climbed back up to her feet. Gripping the railing with both hands. The only sound now was her song. Nobody else was out this early for once… and she felt it bubbling up. All the things she desperately wanted to scream at Sora. A few more tears made slow, burning trails down her cheeks.


“Yeah, I’m tired of being angry,

and I’m tired of being strong!

And I’m tired of being treated

like it’s me who did you wrong!

Like your hoof against my back,

can’t forget how much it hurt!

Do you think about me at last,

or are the memories just of her?”


It had almost been a year. She’d been gone for a year. And she’d been replaced. Had Sora even noticed? Did she even care? Was this new unicorn all she thought about?


“Cause it’s almost been a year,

I still think about that day.

How you told me ‘disappear’,

how you took my home away.

How you’ll never understand the things

that I could never say!”


Her teacher. Her mentor. Her guidance. Her light. Her sun. The one who raised her. Taught her. The one she gave everything for. The one who, when needed most… abandoned her. The one who truly saw her as unworthy.


“But it’s fine...

Yeah it’s fine…

I’ll just miss you all the time, all the time…”


Hinoiri crumbled to her knees again. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. Why? If she went home, she’d be alone again. Wouldn’t she? She’d have Double Trouble, but it wouldn’t be like this. Would she even have Double Trouble when they saw her in that world? What if she lost them, too? She hated this world. She loved this world. She had people who cared about her. She had people she wanted to have in her life.

Why did she have to give this up? Why did she have to make the sacrifice? Why was it her responsibility? Why did she have to give up everything she’d ever known to have a bit of happiness in her life? To have friends? To not be alone? But even that wasn’t enough, was it? She wasn’t special, she didn’t have sparkle magic. She held out her right hand and formed a bit of a dark energy in it. This was the only thing that connected her to them. If she stopped fighting them, would they even care anymore? Did they only care about her because she was an enemy? If she lost this…

And that was it, wasn’t it?

She didn’t know anymore if she wanted to succeed, get everything she was owed… and drift closer to being alone again…

Or keep failing and prove all of them right. To prove she could never measure up to Sora’s radiance. That she didn’t deserve her role at her side. That… that she never belonged in her home. To stay here, the reject from another world. On the side of people like Beryl or, worse, useless and helpless.

She just wished there was another way…

She just wanted to find her home.