View source for 1966/Reasons (Amy and Miho)

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2024/09/24
|Location=Dorms #2
|Synopsis=After talking with Kureha, Miho talks with Amy. She asks questions about why Amy took the contract. As well as have a discussion about being Magical. As well as some minor girl talk.
|Cast of Characters=107,266
|pretty=yes
}}
{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy has been reading. Not TSF, for once! Isekai fanfiction of an unusual sort. It is strange, to revisit old ways of thinking and memeplexes from where she stands now. What could she even say to people who think like this? The sorts of people that gave her strange ideas about thinking about gods as eldritch entities, and the sort of morally-detached reasoning, even for ultimately moral goals, that might be productive when talking to Kyubey.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''It's all so clear now, parts of how 'normal' people think. I'm... more in tune with my emotions, and I '''want''' to be like this. But, there may be useful information to extract and use for my own goals.''<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The logic of this, at least, is something Amanda, and Mallory-of-a-decade-ago could agree on is a logical, reasonable, and important thing to do, were the latter here; though it be the same logic that would obligate the latter to escape whatever magic might make such possible and try to gain agency in the modern world.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy is sure she specifically warned about that when it was explained to her, loosely, how the weird past-scrying-memories-time-travel thing they all went to the past worked, should anyone look into her own past.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Anyway, so it is that Amy has snuck dinner out to her dorm for this meeting, and opens the door after Miho identifies herself.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Sorry for the inconvenience. But given what you wanted to talk about, I figured it would be best to make sure we're not being observed by, say, Kyubey. Maybe I'm being overly careful -- it's possible I'm slightly memetically influenced at the moment by a story I'm reading, but if so, the influence is in favor of security and caution, which seems like... not a bad thing? Probably not harmful here?" She closes the door once Miho is in and returns to her chair. It is a nice office chair, not something really seen much in the school. Actually--<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The whole setup kind of says something about priorities. Mio's desk has things like a mirror and basic school supplies. Amy's is host to a computer in a tower case, with a keyboard, two 22-inch-or-so monitors, and a wireless mouse, 5.1 surround speakers set up around her, and what little personal bookshelf space there is is host to a few tabletop gaming manuals.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy gestures towards her own bed -- the bottom bunk, which is host to a teddy bear, a smaller cougar(?) plush, and a plush of some magical girl Miho doesn't recognize -- and to Mio's chair-that-came-with-the-room as potential places for the other girl to sit.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Can you um. Like I know you said before, what you want to ask, but can you phrase, exactly what is it you want to know and why? That might be more helpful."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;When Miho had contacted Amy, she wasn't sure how to ask her question. She wanted to know the story behind Amy. Mostly cause well, Miho is having trouble with her own thoughts, and processing everything thats happening to her. Her own transformation, she comes to find out, has left her with even more questions then answers. Plus, she didn't want to ask Hinote. He had mentioned opening a case file on her transformation. Miho brought up a sandwich with her.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho's current outfit is basically some gym pants and a tank top. She is also trying on her new lipstick, a light pink shade, and there's the scent of wildberries and cinnamon coming from her. She takes a deep breath as she settles on the bed. "I...know it sounded odd. I...was curious as to why you accepted Kyubey's deal? What was your reasons for it?", she asks. Miho looks down. "I know its not my business to know, but I learned some stuff about me and my family, and I find myself questioning myself.", she comments.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho looks down to her sandwich, and and takes a bite out of it. "Like, I have an ability thats rare, and there's nobody in my family I can talk to about it. And...I can't talk to Hinote about it. There's reasons for it.", the woman says while looking away a little bit. Miho shakes her head a little bit.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy's selection from the dining hall tonight was shrimp and vegetable stir-fry. She seems to have no difficulty with chopsticks. She is herself clad in athletic shorts and a T-shirt for lounging around in, with moccasins. She is not wearing lipstick or other makeup.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Mentally, she starts to go over her retelling of that day -- witnessing a magical girl battle and contracting so she could help -- but that is, perhaps, not really what the question is about.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Maybe she's feeling especially self-reflective today.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;As Miho relates, she's new to being a magical girl, and has few people to talk to about that.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy tries to remember what that was like, for all this to be new. Wondering how things worked, and feeling like everyone else -- who she later found out had only become magical girls days or weeks earlier -- was more experienced seniors.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy takes a breath.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"All of my life, I never felt like I fit in. I was smart, but strange. Adults' praise for the former did not manifest into support or status once I reached adulthood. Of course, like many people, I loved stories; exciting tales where people with amazing powers in interesting situations where they ''matter'' -- whether they choose to be heroes who help people, or villains who care not who they hurt in pursuit of their goal -- and fantasized about that. I play videogames because in the small scale of the game, I can affect the outcome; I play tabletop RPGs because in that fantasy I'm an adventurer who has the ''power'' to actually affect the world and people's lives positively and significantly. I might save lives, or save the world. In a tiny fictional context, my skill and my ability manifests my values outside of myself in a way it does not, can not, and never will -- or so I thought -- in the real world."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy looks at her computer screen. "And then one day I found out magic was real. Everyone else got hit by these feathers and drained of their energy. Sailor V, Cures Wukong, and Tide, and that ninja guy, were all fighting Scorn and some sort of... purse monster? Kyubey told me I could be a magical girl if I contracted with him. Or I could leave, and I'd probably forget all this."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"How could I say no to that? How could I give up on ''magic'' and the idea of a life that maybe ''meant'' something, where I could really help people? Especially ''knowing'' that if I didn't, and forgot, or maybe worse ''didn't'' forget, there would still be monsters hurting people and heroes desperately fighting them and I would lack all agency to help defend against or to fight them."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She looks at Miho curiously. "Would you really choose, to go back to normal life, presented with that?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho looks at her sandwich a bit. "I think, once you see behind the curtain, its not a choice anymore.", she tells. The woman takes a deep breath as she thinks things through. Her mind races a bit before it settles down. "The first time I saw a Youma, it was attacking my friends. All I could do was just watch. I watched Onihime and Pulp Noir fight against the Youma, and took it down. The next morning, I was told that I was in a gas leak that exploded. But I saw behind the curtain, and could not unsee it.", she tells. "Dispite the story my friends were told."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"At Ultra Japan, the day before we went to the Mermaid Cave, I saw a horde of youma attacking. Wind Dancer, Onihime, Pulp Noir, and Cure La Mer were there fighting to protect the crowd. And something...just snapped. My body got cold, and my blood felt frozen. Next thing I know, I'm in the thick of everything, knowing nothing but my next target.", she tells. "I still feel like when I transform, a part of me blanks out. And I wonder whose in the driver's seat at that point.", she says.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I watched as you and Kyubey were talking, and a part of me was mad, and another part was scared. I was thinking about...could Kyubey take control? Or what if he demanded something? What if one of these...witches were so strong that I couldn't fight them, yet could he force me to fight it?", Miho says. The woman sighs. "Sorry, just that was some of my concerns, and now that I have magic, and knowing what my magic is...That very question nags at me.", she tells.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho lets out a sigh. "Sorry. Just...I found out that I'm sopposed to be this guardian, but the fact remains. I'm a bit scared of things cause I don't understand things. And thinking about fighting stuff like sun gods and beings of that power...I know how small I am. But the thing that makes me more scared...What happends if I change into...something else?", she asks.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy listens. Miho is worried about going into some other state. "I think, if it's the same sort of hyperfocus I used to go into in tests, games, and media consumption, the one in the driver's seat is your understanding of what your objectives are. Solve the math problem. Complete the level. Find out what happens next. Save the people. Stop the monster. I haven't considered how to optimize goal selection from that angle. When your next goal is unclear do you snap out of it?"<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Scared of Kyubey and of powers beyond her. Amy exhales. Perhaps it is fortunate she's in the strange mood she is today. "I have no evidence that Kyubey can take control. He can provide a telepathic link, he can make someone who consents, albeit with limited knowledge, into a Puella Magi, and he can puppet those little fox-cat bodies. But, uh, I'll ask if anyone's seen him do anything else. Oh, he can collect the grief seeds and allegedly make them nonhazardous, but uh, obviously we'll be bringing any with souls still in them to Madoka first now."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy stands from her seat. "Do you want a hug?" She'll give one, if asked, then begins pacing around the room. "I didn't worry about being outclassed, at first, because so much else was going on. And then I found out I'm a magical Witch-hunting Terminator who need not fear what would be permanent and potentially mortal injuries for everyone else, so I confess, outside of the thought of going up against Beryl, or whoever runs Obsidian now, I'm not especially worried about being outclassed. Witches are scary but manageable with a group."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She looks at Miho. "We have a goddess on our side. And there ''are'' some few adults that know, like Inai-sensei, and Nurse Meiou, and whoever it is who is running this school that tries to make sure every magical girl in the area has a friendly and supportive environment. And the god that empowers Pretty Cures, although his prohibition against falling in love is weird."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She takes a breath and sighs, and resumes pacing. "That you feel small... I think what you can immediately do about that is know you are not alone. The idea that one single powerful person could take everything on and save the world..." Amy shakes her head. "That's guy-thinking and I doubt anything will get done that way. Certainly when you all grow up and have to handle the nonmagical adult world, only some kind of... collective effort will change everything there," she shakes her head, "though I have no idea how to do it or what it would look like."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She stops again and turns towards Mio, scratching her own chin with a finger thoughtfully. "You're worried about changing into something else. That is... a can of worms. Obviously, whatever you change into would-- or whoever-- would argue that ''they'' are a better way to be. Whether you agree with it or not. Precommitment to guard against it -- even if you ''can'' somehow enforce an unalterable promise on yourself -- sounds incredibly stressful and not psychologically healthy. Such thoughts are for gods and those who attempt to build them, and..." She sighs and holds a hand to her head, "...those who have a reasonable expectation they may need to guard against some kind of psychological contagion. Gah. Alright, fair enough, why, exactly, do you have reason to expect you may become something or someone whose goals do not align with present-you's?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho kinda pauses to think about it. "I'm not too sure. Most of the time when I transform, I passed out cause I was too new, and hadn't eaten yet. The other time, I kinda just dropped into my normal combat meditation Its like when you ask a boxer or a MMA fighter after a fight, they kinda just shrug until they see the video. Thats how it feels at times, and other times, I'm just...letting go completely, and my body goes on its own.", she says. Miho stretches out her back a bit by rolling her shoulders forward.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Onihime, and I are the same group. What we channel though, thats what concerns me.", she tells. The woman takes another bite of her sandwich, thinking how to phrase things. "I know, its kinda complicated. Just that when I transform, I'm channeling something old. And then on top of that, I'm calling, and controlling shikigami, using spells that are over 1000 years old.", she tells. "Spells that nobody has taught me, or have been used in centuries.", Miho tells.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I guess, the question I'm asking is how do I control myself? Or what if my instincts tell me to do something that I know I shouldn't do. Like when I was fighting with Onihime, I could draw an arrow, and loose it while aiming at Oni, knowing she'll move. But others...Would I still do it if my instincts say to?", she asks. Miho shakes her head.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho leans back on the bed. "Its...hard to explain if you don't know what I am. I guess, thats just the monster in me.", she says. The woman shakes her head a bit. "I'm good about the hug. Maybe I'm just overthinking things, since I'm use to just running to clear my head, but all this is so far above what used to be normal. And the fact that what I am is sopposed to calm logical patient one, yet, I feel like I should be in the middle of the storm. That I would be more comfortable, just not thinking.", she says. "I guess, you still do this to live, as well as to help others?", she ask.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''Spells that are over a thousand years old? '''What?'''''<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Wait. "How do you ''know'' they're over a thousand years old? Do you know how old they ''are''?"<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Yeah he was-- she was definitely reading the right story to get in the mindset needed here. His mind races ahead--<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Questions for later: How do you know you and Onihime are in the same group. What group ''is'' that. Why are you supposed to be the calm logical patient one? To what do you refer by monster in you? Note that I could turn into a Witch one day."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"For your question about instincts. I do not know about your situation. You may have received new magical instincts. Or have magical failsafes in place, like whatever lets me go puppet mode when mortally wounded, and whatever shut off my pain when it got to be too much, before I figured out how to do it myself. I can't answer with authoritative knowledge about your ''type'' that I do not have, though I can try my best to theorize from any information you can make available."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''Why is holding onto our gender identity slipping there no it's not important to the current objective dismiss for now oh wait it's probably just because you haven't used this mode of thought lately.''<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;That did seem to stabilize her thoughts a little. Hmm.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"As for whether to give into instinct or not, I'm not sure I am the best advisor. Ten or fifteen or really any number of years ago I would have said never." Amy shakes her head. "But now I kinda get it. Why other people... ''do'' things based on their emotions, and I don't know how to explain it to past me."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She points her hands, spread-fingered, at her chest. "I ''like'' it. It feels ''right'' in a way nothing ever did before. Like it felt right to... to... having my feet swept out from under me-- Hannah sweeping me off my feet felt right and good even when I believed it was supposed to be wrong, although that belief was based on a distorted and incomplete understanding of the world. Of the situation."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She throws her arms up and out to the side. "Even when these teenage hormones have me all ''depressed'', I'm not inclined to push myself ''out'' of it but to ''wallow'' in it. Here I thought I was some higher being of intelligence caring only for refined and erudite pleasures like gaining knowledge and exercising mastery, and it turns out that no, actually, I'm a squishy meat brain full of chemicals and I love it and I said before and say it again that I'd rather die doing what feels right, now, than ever force myself to do what feels ''clearly'' wrong just because it's been logically argued that it's for the greater good or whatever."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy turns away and hangs her head. "So, I'm an embarassment to the sort of people who think about things like the alignment problem and how you should -- what you should do to prevent your personal preferences from ever changing. If you feel the same as I about embracing it, then even if you ''were'' some monster that wanted to kill people, I would have to say -- because giving truthful advice feels right to ''me'', even if it hurts me later -- to give into your feelings and enjoy yourself, but know that obviously humans will hunt you down in self-defense, so weigh your personal-- the utility of your personal enjoyment against the negative utility of not being able to do anything anymore, I guess."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Beat.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She glances at Miho sidewise, a bit embarassed. "I'm sorry, I guess I got kind of weird there."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho kinda coughs a little bit, and blushes a bit. "Onihime, Yukihime.", she points out. "And we both have magatamas that change colors when we transform.", the woman says, tapping the magatama hairpin she wears. "And I don't know just how much I should tell. You talk about maybe turning into a witch someday, but who knows what I could turn into. I mean, I don't want to say anything since its not just me. There's others out there.", she tells. The woman shakes her head a bit.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Sorry, just so many things that we have in common, but by the same time, so many differences. I'm a bit clumsy at expressing things.", Miho says. The woman takes another bite of her sandwich, thinking how to phrase things. "I can use talismans, but not like the temple ones. I'm referring to using the types that arn't taught anymore. Like summoning and giving shikigami physical forms. Creating barriers. And yet, I know more then that. And the fact that I'm writing them out in front of me without a second thought.", she tells.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I understand that there's some knowledge thats given during transformations, but again, those are some rather...unique things. Then again, I don't know many people who can turn a tiara into a laser saw blade...", she tells.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Also, thats why I came to you over talking to Hinote about things. I think if I were to talk to him, I'd be a bit more...emotional. You said to just do what feels right, but by the same time, I feel like I can't. There's just so much. I don't like giving things second and third thoughts, but everything recently has made me have to give more thought about anything I do. Heck, I have to think how much more food I have to eat everyday in case I do have to transform...", she says.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy nods. "Some information might hurt her if told and you may not even be sure ''which'' information applies to both of you, or even which of it may hurt you."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Curious that you imply anything magical was taught earlier. When do you think it was these spells were ''taught?''" If Amy tells her when the Veil was put in place, that might distort her answer -- it will be interesting to see what she says naively.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She tilts her head. "Why would the conversation be more emotional if you talked to him?"<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"As for food, if eating more is a chore rather than a treat, you can look up food options for people who do not enjoy food and wish it kept simple, and supplement your diet with that -- or you could look into what the JSDF would consider appropriate to feed soldiers if they ever had to do combat deployment. I'm sure the military has efficiently optimized ways to give someone a lot of calories if they need it."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She cocks her head to one side. "Although, I suppose if you did that routinely, you might get fat. Perhaps it's worth looking into if some mix of foods your body processes fast and slow would allow you to spend the energy needed in a transformation and then supplement ''after''; alternatively, perhaps we can get you something in like, protein bar or energy drink form that would give quick energy at the start of a fight? Or you could carry um. Some kind of nutritious but preservable food to snack on ''after'' a transformation, if you can wait."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"In any case," Amy plops back down into her chair. "I can try to give you lessons in thinking better, but it will not solve all your problems or magically make you smart. It ''might'' make you weird. What exactly do you ''want'', here? And why would Hinote be more emotional?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho thinks on this for a long moment. "I believe they were taught cause they're not a part of the transformation, I guess. These spells are Onmyoji in nature, and not typically used by what I am...My father's bloodline had a number of Onmyojis. My mother's line is where my transformation is from.", she tells. Miho bites her lip on that. The woman does hold up a protien bar. "I have a steady supply of these. Dad's a MMA Trainer, not to mention a retired fighter. Been chewing on these things since I could walk I feel.", she tells. "Doesn't mean they taste any better.", she mutters.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;When questioned about why it would be more emotional, Miho squeaks. She blushes slightly, and coughs. "Nothing. Its fine. Just awkward. He's looking into the group, and doing a case file on it. And I kinda not sure what all would be safe.", she says, still looking away a little bit. There's a bit of awkward silence there for a few seconds.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Anyways, what I wanted. I was just trying to figure out how you do it. Balance everything, dispite whats going on. How you can fight like you do dispite knowing things. The reason that just keeps you going. With everything thats going on, I feel lost, and just going with the flow of things. Like I want to protect, but I don't know why I want to protect so badly.", she says.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;AMy nods along, and smiles a bit and gives a knowing ''"Ohhh."'' at her reaction as Hinote is discussed.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Queries are listed. "Ah. That is probably much faster than teaching you not to fall into thinking traps. I ''don't'' balance everything. Nurse Meiou gets us excuses for why we missed class or homework isn't done sometimes. I... Hold on, I'm not sure I ''do'' 'balance everything', can we drill down on what you mean by that for a moment?"<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho takes a moment on this. "Well, go to school, stay focused on the important stuff, enjoy life, go out and do things, fight witches and youma, stay sane...", she says. "I mean, you managed to stay grounded though all this. I can barely keep everything from falling apart around me. If I didn't have my music to work on, and my father's exercises, I think I would have been in the RHA Loonly Class.", she tells.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy listens, and sighs, and hangs her head. "Then I am sorry, you are asking the wrong girl. I am not normal. I do not 'balance everything.' I seldom 'go out and do things', though, it does help that friends invite me on things sometimes, like the recent trip to Odaiba." And lifts her head again and smiles, genuinely, at the memories of the non-magical part of that day. "I did. Get to feel like I was... ''normal'', for a little bit, that day."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Then looks at Miho more somberly. "But I have no dreams and nothing to work towards. I do not know how to ''find'' something that matters to me to pursue once I graduate, if I ever lose magic -- or just to have a life outside of magic."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"To ''be a magical girl'' is more wonderful a dream than I ever had, or could have in normal life. I will be-- if I ''survive'' that long, which I might given we've managed to avoid people dying this past year, people we know personally anyway--"<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''Note to self, consider the possibility that some sort of reverse Fade or Veil affects most dead magical girls. It '''is''' kind of incredible, even knowing that some deaths '''have''' occurred and been reversed. It doesn't add up that there were barely any until 14 or 15 months ago; Perhaps Radiant Heart is under attack by something like a false hydra? But then, the past versions of Stellar and her friend would not have ''also'' reported they knew of only a few magical girls. Hmm.''<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy froze staring off into space for a moment as she considers this, then shakes her head. "Where was I..." then she looks sad again. "Oh right. Even knowing better, and knowing how much it will suck for me to return to the adult world unprepared, I can't... ''find'' anything I want to do. Rather than worry about this, I've decided to enjoy the time I have."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Her eyes water a little. " I may peak in high school, but at least I ''have'' this good time before everything sucks, rather than worrying about grades and extracurriculars and some future ''career'' that may never manifest or make me happy."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She takes a couple of breaths to stop herself from choking up, and grins awkwardly and with a tinge of sadness still, "Plus, there's a small chance that I get to be one of the Princess's consorts on Tharkad, if Hannah can ever leave this world. That would be... nice. I will probably be okay as such, with Hannah there."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She looks down at the ground. "...''Shit.'' Is that just the gay, your-girlfriend-is-a-princess version of 'I'll find a man to take care of me'? I'm supposed to be a strong, independent woman, but I don't know how to be ''any'' of those things. Some feminist I am."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho nods her head as she listens. She does blink a little bit. "Oh...", she says. "I guess we all have the things that we keep buried.", the woman says as she blushes a bit. "I didn't mean any offense. Just, you seem so grounded, and that things just don't phase you. If I had known, I would have tried to get you into Ultra Japan while we were there.", she says. "That weekend was amazing! Afrojack was crazy!", Miho tells with some excitement in her voice. She starts to sing a little bit. "Sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree. Travelled the world and the seven seas, Everybody's looking for something!", she sings. All that time she spends running, doing martial arts, focusing on her breathing...it really helps her with singing.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"You should look Afrojack's club mix of Sweet Dreams. Its soo good.", she tells. The woman coughs a little bit. "S-sorry. I...kinda want to be a DJ or an idol after school is over.", she admits. "Kinda way I keep up the insane exercise stuff. I...don't really tell people about it. I keep a few mixes I made kinda hidden away.", she tells. "You still want to do the hug thing?", she asks. "Im sorry if I brought up some painful stuff. Its just...so hard to deal with everything. I think they're getting ready to go lights out, so I better get back to my room.", she tells. The woman coughs a little bit. "Maybe I'll send you a few of the mixes I've done? They're nothing fancy. Just some stuff that I put together cause I couldn't settle down.", Miho admits to.<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''Ultra Japan?'' Amy blinks and looks like she has no idea what that is, or Afrojack -- she briefly has the mental image of a youma made from an afro wig -- but smiles at the recognizable song, which she has heard before and starts to softly sing along with, although she can't name it or the band that originally composed and played it.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"An idol... don't you have to be really young for that? Although I suppose with vtubers now, as long as someone ''sounds'' young, maybe people wouldn't care." She more means that it doesn't sound like a long career.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy smiles at the question. "Yes, I still want to do the hug thing." She stands and hugs Miho tightly.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I have considered singing. I... like singing. But I know that it is statistically unlikely to be something I can do as a ''job'', and I have no idea how to do it as a ''job'' and am abysmal at social skills. College-level training in ''professional singing'' isn't exactly something many can get easily. And in any case, I learned from the first time around that if I'm not already doing a thing because I expect to not learn how to do it until college, then college is not going to actually teach me. I learned ''nothing'' for making video games."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Beat.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"...Perhaps I should do that, yet, I find myself not ''driven'' to it." She shrugs.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"In any case, I would be happy to listen to some of your mixes."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;And then she smiles, slightly, with a quirked eyebrow. "''They're'' getting ready, so you'd ''better''? We're ''magical girls''. A youma could strike at any time. We do not have to obey curfew; what, is some random adult patrolling the school going to ''catch'' you when you have ''magic?'' ''This'' much, I can tell you, of the secrets adults do not tell children. Being a good little girl now earns you nothing; High grades mean nothing to employers, and golden star stickers or that you followed the rules means nothing to colleges ''or'' employers."<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"...That said, there may be some practical wisdom in not staying up too late. Although really, if anyone can manage staying up until two in the morning and still getting to homeroom on time, it's teenagers -- just don't expect to be able to keep doing that in ten or fifteen years."<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:266|Miho Inada (266)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Miho shakes her head a little bit. "You have to be contract age to become an idol, so they usually don't take anyone who isn't at least 17 years old. For the most part, they try getting people straight out of high school. But if you're smart, you learn how to make mixes, and create your own stuff. That'll get you in places you wouldn't have thought of. Ultra Japan, its a music festival on Odiba. Thats how Laura was able to get me to go to the cave was I was already there. The Festival was the night before, as was my first time transforming.", she says.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"And while a certain Nurse can get us out of classes, and talk about our attendence, she can't help us with pop quizs.", Miho points out. Miho returns the hug, and gets up. "Also, not a word to Hinote!", Miho says with a deep blush. "Mostly cause well, I took a shot. Missed, so...anyways, still, not a word to him!", the girl says. She gets up.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Thank you for the chat, Amy. It did kinda help to get a lot of this off my chest. Have a good night.", she says. Miho finishes her sandwich, and then takes a quick peak out in the hallway. Ninja Miho time! The young girl disappears, heading back to her room, after she stopped by the vending machine to get a tea. She's thirsty!<br> <br>

:'''{{#var:107|Amy Faust (107)}} has posed:'''<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Amy nods. She's never had a strategy for pop quizzes other than simply learning whichever concepts it is the class is supposed to test knowledge of, but people with different sorts of intelligence do struggle there.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''Took a shot?'' Amy quirks an eyebrow. ''Does she mean she confessed and was rejected? Now seems not the time to ask. Is that... <span style="color:#ffd7ff">'''girl talk'''</span> that I will one day learn how to have?'' She can't help smiling at that thought.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Nor at Miho's thanks. "I'm glad I could help. Good night! ''Sweet dreams, you deserve them!''" What a slightly odd and stilted saying.<br><br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She turns back to, and unlocks, her computer, and reads intently. She will find what wisdom here can be extracted and generally used for goals other than 'thinking more logically.' Or rather, find what tools can indeed be instrumental in achieving more teleological goals, without ''treating'' the instrumental goal of thinking better as if it is the teleological goal; she wonders if there's a name for that fallacy. Gods, thinking in this mode makes her feel... distant from herself and a little icky. Hopefully she can, like, turn her brain back down after. By reading other stories or talking to normal people or something.<br> <br>
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