View source for Laugh Away the Pressure (Hinoiri Kirara)

{{Cutscene Header
|Date of Scene=2023/12/07
|Location=Tokyo
|Synopsis=Sunbreaker fills out some paperwork, does a few readings around Tokyo, plans a roadtrip, ruminates on an old lesson... and does a little song and dance number. Just another day in the life of Kirakirafantastica's favorite (only) representative.
|Cast of Characters=131
}}

Sunbreaker’s eyes narrowed. There was no way this was accurate. Had she done something wrong? She disappeared in a flurry of fire, reappearing with her tower in another location. She held up a small tome, a hand on her chin while the information appeared on the page. It didn’t make any sense.

Again and again she teleported, someone frequently interfered, but her business was quick. In and out, barely had to even fight any of the sparkle skirts. Her eyes twitched none the less and she reached up, pinching the bridge of her nose. Was she overdoing it? Possibly. When was she not, though? If there was one thing she knew how to do… well… it was overdo it.

In fact, her recent forms with HR had questioned her on that. ‘Did she feel adequately supported in her endeavors?’

…

No. But she’d never tell any of them. Needing support was a weakness. And weakness… weakness wasn’t allowed. Besides, she knew better than to fill out any of these forms truthfully. It was like any other test. Just say what they wanted you to say and everything would be okay.

 == Long ago… ==

“Laughter is an important element of friendship, one that isn’t always as visible as the other elements,” Sora said.

“Mmmm hm,” Hinoiri said, her focus more on the apple pastry she was chewing on than the lesson.

“While many of the elements are what one needs to be and show to be a good friend, laughter is more what one needs to create. You see, laughter is what gives friendship its light,” Sora said. “Motivation. It lights the darkness that can cloud even the darkest hearts. Help us to cope when we feel overwhelmed. Give us hope. A kind word can help mend a damaged heart, but laughter can give that heart the strength it needs to push on.”

“Right, jokes, very important,” Hinoiri said. She tried to remember any time in her entire life she’d heard Sora make a joke or laugh aside from a polite chortle. “Are we done?”

“Oh, student of mine,” Sora said, her voice disappointed. “You, of all ponies, could use some laughter. You take everything so, so seriously. You should relax more. Maybe find some way to add joy to your routine. It might do you some good.”

Hinoiri nodded, though she felt her own eye twitching. Joy? Laughter? RELAXATION? When did she ever have time for that?!

 == Now, throughout Tokyo ==

Sunbreaker sighed and stood besides her little tower while it gathered readings. She pulled out a pen and began filling out more forms.

Bureaucracy. If there was one thing she knew how to handle, it was that. Waste of her time, all of this. Why… did they have to bother her? Just let her do what she wanted and it would all work out.

“I’m the smart one, I’m not nervous,” Sunbreaker sang, filling out a few more rows on the questionaire. “I’m as bright as a ray of the sun is.”

Both she and her tower disappeared in a flurry of fire, reappearing over a bridge. “I climb mountains, I form riches and I glow ‘cause I know where my value is.”

They disappeared and then reappeared high over Tokyo, her legs crossed and leaning back as if she was in an invisible chair. “I don’t ask how hard the work is, this student’s got an indestructible surface. Standards and limits, I find ‘em I break ‘em. I take what’s denied and can do what’s demanded!”

The tower pinged and they both disappeared again, this time appearing outside of Tokyo. “But under the surface, I feel as scared as a kitten locked in with cerberus,” Sunbreaker sang, her arms wrapping around herself while she turned to her tower. Not that it could hear, or respond, to her. “Under the surface, I wonder did I deserve this loneliness? Under the surface, I’m terrified they’re right and I’ll never be worth this. A flaw or a crack, why can’t I take it all back? The little things I lack, what is it that I lack?”

Sunbreaker and the tower disappeared a moment later, another park. Another empty field. It didn’t matter. She was lost in her own mind, seeing herself staring up at Sora once more. Wishing she could have said these words then. The magic of the song washing over her, hidden where nobody else could hear. “It's pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa.” Every single student, watching and waiting for her to slip up so they could take her place. Every noble waiting for her to say the wrong thing about her mentor so they could uncover a fresh scandal. Every guard watching her and wondering if she might one day be a danger to the Sovereign. “Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa, oh, oh. Give it to your student, your student’s smarter. Drown her in expectations, she’ll never falter! Who am I if I stumble and fall?” Sunbreaker saw herself, staying up far, far later than any of the other library goers, moving through her homework as quickly as she could. Perfect was never enough. There was always extra credit. But she had to be better than the best. No weakness. No moments of rest. They were all watching her. Judging her. Waiting to take her down if she showed the smallest flicker of weakness.

Another beep. Another teleportation. But still she saw Sora’s judgmental gaze. Sunbreaker’s arms tightened around herself and she felt those tears building up. “Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa!” How many times had she failed, how many plans had failed? How many lessons did she have to learn until she succeeded? The mirror showed her a destiny worth fighting for, so how long did she have to fight? “Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow, whoa, oh, oh! Give it Sunbreaker, she’s much stronger! See if she’ll endure it a little longer! Who am I if I can’t carry it all? If I falter…”

Sora telling her to leave. That she was no longer welcome. That she was selfish. Greedy. That she only cared about herself. That all she wanted was the reward without the work. “Under the surface, I hide my nerves and it worsens, I worry she’s forgotten me. Under the surface, I need her to just this once come and see. Under the surface, I think about my purpose, can I somehow be worthy?” Sunbreaker knelt, her hands on her ears as if she could drown out the song she was singing. “Line up any sparkle skirt, throw me to the dirt, I’ll say it doesn’t hurt, I’ll never revert!”

“But wait, if I could shake the crushing need for confirmations…” Sunbreaker saw Double Trouble smiling at her. Sayaka blushing at her teasing. Sailor Moon shielding her. Marinette offering to make her clothes. Adrien sharing coffee. Naru helping her to understand people. Niji playing on the console with her. Even Ula, riding on the bike with her. "Would that free some room up for joy or relaxation, or simple laughter?” Sunbreaker could see herself. An alicorn. Returning to her mentor’s side. Telling her how she had earned this power. Become her equal. Bowing and being bowed to in kind. All those who rejected her, told her she was unworthy, kneeling before a new, worthy, ruler. Adored. Not reviled. Not mocked. Loved.

The beep from the tower made that mental image fade. Once more both she and her tower disappeared. “Instead, we measure this growing pressure. Keeps growing, keep going. 'Cause all we know is pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa.” She teleported across tokyo, each time her appearance was quick, but she was getting faster. Perhaps it was experience, perhaps it was the magic of her song. “Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa, oh, oh. Mock Sunbreaker, it never mattered.” She could see them. All of them in Obsidian. Pointing at her. Laughing. Jeering. Even Double Trouble. So what if she failed sometimes? She learned from it. The only true defeat was one you learned nothing from. “It’s not like her heart ever shattered. Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks, your mistake.”

“Just pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa,” Sunbreaker sang, the tower disappearing a moment before she did, both once more appearing in the dusk zone. Papers flew around her, bound in her magic while she frantically drew charts and notes. The HR forms shoved aside for now. “Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow, whoa, oh, oh. Mock me all you want and never wonder, if this pressure would’ve drove you under. Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?” A sixth crack formed across her soul, struggling to maintain itself. “No cracks, no breaks, some mistakes, just pressure…”

Sunbreaker felt the song wash away and with it, much of her strength. She fell to her knees and stared at the notes she’d gathered. It didn’t make any sense. The leylines couldn’t be like that. They SHOULDN’T be like that. This… altered her plans even more than she’d originally thought. Before she made an official report for Project Eclipse. She shifted through the gathered papers…

She had to see these other two towers. Perform more of her own scans. Should she tell Double Trouble the truth? Takashi?

…

No. None of them really believed in her. They all thought she was a joke. They thought the fact she lost, the fact she kept failing, was just a sign of how beyond her reach she was. Even Double Trouble didn’t believe in her. They just saw her as amusing. None of them understood that, sometimes… in order to truly succeed?

You had to fail a few times. So what if they thought she was a joke? A source of amusement? When she achieved everything she’d ever wanted, they’d all be there to watch with wonder and awe.

They’d know Project Eclipse the same way everyone else did for now. It--

Then her eyes fell to something else she’d scanned. What… in the… that couldn’t be possible.

 ------ 

Sunbreaker stared at the rift, though it had taken her ages to find. But there it was. Unstable. Not likely to last much longer. Heck, it had likely already collapsed at least twice since she’d begun looking for it… but it had re-opened. This phenomenon likely wouldn’t last long, but...

A portal to Kirakirafantastica. One that WASN’T the mirror. There were things back in her home she could use, things she hadn’t even thought to bring with her so long ago… She’d need help, though. Competent help...