Under Gretchen's Mask (Madoka Kaname)
| Under Gretchen's Mask (Madoka Kaname) | |
|---|---|
| Date of Cutscene: | 19 September 2023 |
| Location: | Radiant Academy Rooftops |
| Synopsis: | Gretchen tries to tell Madoka that she's being ridiculous, and also bums a bit of food off of her. |
| Cast of Characters: | Madoka Kaname |
[On the same day as scene 460: "A Wish By Any Other Name"]
Gretchen had three problems.
Firstly, she and her Chara Bearer were fundamentally at odds. That's why Gretchen was an X-Chara. This was a long term problem, and a complex one, because it wasn't as simple as asking Madoka to do better or telling her not to give up.
Secondly, Madoka's faith was wavering. If she gave up on her dreams, then those dreams would disappear, and Gretchen was one of those dreams. This was a short term problem, both in the urgency of its consequence and in the simplicity of its solution. In Madoka's eyes, she had lost her potential with no explanation. Gretchen could provide one.
Thirdly, Gretchen was really hungry. She had memories of being a Witch, and that influenced a lot of her nature, but she could never be an actual Witch. Human soul weren't really on the menu, so what was? Was it ice cream? She hoped it was ice cream. This too could be quickly solved.
The answer to two of the X-Chara's immediate problems was as obvious as it was unpleasant. She had to go talk to her Chara Bearer. As an X-Chara, this should not be her responsibility, but she had no other choice.
Finding Madoka Kaname was easy. She ate lunch on one of the rooftops of Radiant Heart Academy. She was alone. Maybe her friends hadn't arrived yet.
Gretchen floated towards Madoka like a strange specter with below-zero enthusiasm. They had to have a conversation. Ugh.
Madoka's confusion, once she spotted Gretchen, was plain on her face. The sight of the X-Chara disturbed her. The masked fairy saw herself as cute, and most Chara were intrinsically adorable, but Madoka would know better than to underestimate a magical creature because of neoteny. The fact that Gretchen wore a creepy mask and a black dress made of spindly ribbons probably didn't help.
"Can I... help you?" asked Madoka. Her eyes darted from side to side. Was she expecting an attack? Annoying.
"Kyubey ditched you, so I thought you'd be in the market for a different subtly creepy mascot."
The joke clearly took Madoka off guard. Gretchen's Chara Bearer had always been so easy to read. Not that it was a bad thing. Most of the time. "You... want to be my mascot."
"Oh? Am I not good enough for you?" Gretchen pulled up her mask, revealing her face that was very much like her Bearer's. There was a slight difference in hair and eye color. Where Madoka was pink, Gretchen was red. A metaphor for her darker nature. "I joke, but really, the choice has already been made."
Madoka's eyes went wide. She spent a few silent moments studying Gretchen and considering what this meant. "Are you... the reason my potential is gone?"
"You can say that," said Gretchen. "More accurately I would say that you chose me without realizing. Perhaps you remember the fight with Anna..."
"Anna...?"
Gretchen hesitated. She slipped up. A non-Witch shouldn't have that information. How could she cover this up? "I... never mind that. I meant the Train Witch who was fighting that other Witch." Actually, wait... was Anna the Train Witch, or did that name belong to the other one? Whatever. Irrelevant. "I don't know why I called her Anna. Slip of the tongue."
Madoka glanced down and off to the side. Gretchen's Bearer had taken eyes off of her. Her guard was lowering. "I don't think I could ever forget that."
Gretchen could say a lot about Madoka forgetting things, but that wasn't the largest slab of beef on the table right now. "During that fight you started to make a Wish, but then a little voice inside of you said that death was preferable. I was that voice, and when you chose not to make a Wish you chose me over Kyubey."
Madoka blinked, and then stared at Gretchen. The gears were plainly turning inside her head. She was fitting things together. "So... I know that being a Puella Magi is hard, but is it really worse than death?"
"For someone like Homura, no. For someone like you, yes." Gretchen had to carefully consider her words. As the living embodiment of Madoka's hopes, there was an intrinsic cost in making her despair. "... Let's just say that there are aspects of that job you'd... regret."
"... Enough to prefer death?" Madoka was having trouble accepting that, yet Gretchen knew it for sure.
"I'm not here to lie to you, but I'm not going to fully explain myself either. It's irrelevant now." Gretchen placed her hand on her chest, tiny fingers splayed. "For one, the fact that I'm an X-Chara instead of a proper Guardian Chara is an issue, and that's a you problem." Gretchen floated closer to Madoka, getting in her face a little bit. "For another, the fact that you are even thinking about giving up on being a magical girl right now is ridiculous. You're already one!"
Madoka's stance grew more rigid as the realization dawned on her. Her chopsticks dropped a piece of her food into her bento. Gretchen remembered how hungry she was. None of Madoka's food was ice cream, but it would do. A tiny octopus-cut sausage was about to fall, and the X-Chara dove to claim it. Immediately she sunk her teeth in. Finally, some decent food.
It took a moment for Madoka to respond. "... Are you hungry?"
"To lower your guard is to invite the enemy in!" chided Gretchen with a full mouth. "You'll need to do better if you want to make it as a magical girl!" She munched and munched. Nothing tastes better than good food on an empty stomach. She finished off the sausage in mere seconds, and once she was done she noticed her Bearer offering her a piece of sushi the size of the X-Chara's tiny head. Madoka was actually smiling at her. Ugh!
"Don't get too friendly with me," said Gretchen. "We're at odds. I'm only here to tell you the truth. If your dreams vanish, then so do we. Soon you'll have a new Chara, and she'll be able to help you in ways that I can't."
"Why would we be at odds?" asked Madoka in a soft, gentle voice. It was exactly the kind of thing that Gretchen wanted to explain to her, yet it was also a sore note. Madoka's kindness only made the underlying wounds worse.
"Simple. I represent your desire to be your best, but you don't know what that really means." Gretchen accepted the offered sushi and started to chew on it, but this time she at least swallowed before speaking. "You reject divinity because you can't imagine being better than anyone else. You don't let others fix the nerve damage in your left arm because you don't want to forget what weakness feels like. Maybe you think you're being humble, but the moment you see that all of your loved ones are going to die you'll wish you had all the power in the world. In that moment, maybe you'll finally appreciate me."
"How can you say I don't appreciate you?" Madoka seemed wounded. It was clear that the Chara Bearer wasn't fully understanding the weight of her sin. "I don't even know you. I think you're adorable... if a little strange. I can't really blame you for your looks considering how scared I was when I chose you."
"That's not the reason I look this way!" shot back Gretchen. "You still don't get anything. You try to comfort me with words, but in your mind you push me away! Every time you insult yourself, you diminish me! Every time you say you aren't good enough, you call me a liar to my face! Don't think that a few scraps of food are going to change that!"
That wasn't the full reason why Gretchen was an X-Chara, but the salt was real, and if Madoka wanted to grow as a person then she needed to hear it. Gretchen grabbed the sushi with both of her tiny stubby arms and nibbled at it as she started to float away.
"I'm sorry... I had no idea!" said Madoka. She set her bento aside and got up to follow Gretchen. "I know you say we're at odds, but you came here to give me hope, right? Can you really say we're enemies when we depend on each other?"
Gretchen turned to give her Chara Bearer one last look. "You would be surprised." She pulled her mask down over her face before looking away. "I know that you can do better, so do better!"
As the X-Chara flew away, finishing off the last bits of sushi, she could feel her strength returning. Madoka's faith was restored, and Gretchen got fed. The battle was won, but the war is going to drag.
