1805/Normal High School Problems

Normal High School Problems
Date of Scene:	09 July 2024
Location:	Tsukino-Osaka Dorm
Synopsis:	After Mamoru's kidnapping, the Slasher wants to apologize for failing to save him, and also deliver what remains of his fruit basket. A conversation ensues.
Cast of Characters:	Taro Yamada, Usagi Tsukino

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Taro Yamada has posed:
It has been several hours since Mamoru-Tuxedo Guy-Prince Enderman has vanished. Been kidnapped. Been violently drowned and then kidnapped.

You know. Normal high school problems.

Admittedly, Taro Yamada has gotten into stupid teenage scraps before. Fallen in a river and temporarily drowned. Mauled guys being jerks to their girlfreinds. Got hit by a car several times, and hit someone with a car a couple times in return. Flunked out of school because he'd left several classmates in tears and blood when his powers activated spontaneously, with none of them able to explain what happened.

But uh. Kidnapping was new. And bad. And it wasn't even fun! A human could kidnap and kill someone! So could a car! Or a determined duck! Even Jack did it when he was human and he was kind of a loser when he wasn't being terrifying.

And most of all, it was his failure to be a superior villain and properly murder that blueberry bitch - er, that Thetis. Tuxedo Guy was almost a rival for him, with their repeated clashes, which meant that it was inappropriate he couldn't keep the grubby little hands of other baddies off of HIS rival. Guy. Person.

Ugh. His chest feels like a chewed up gum.

But. He has what he could salvage of the fruit basket, and he's tried to make himself look less like he just came back from the dead, and the seven foot Slasher is gingerly knocking on the door.

"Miss Usagi? Can I come in?"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
It's been several hours since Mamoru was taken, and Usagi has just about run out of tasks to complete. Obviously, she isn't doing anymore homework - she'd been doing homework when Mamoru was kidnapped, and while it isn't the homework's fault, the work is very obviously cursed. She's taken Mamoru'd most precious things to the drycleaner after talking to Koji, been checked on by Inai-sensei, gotten Korma to bring back with Haruka, rescued the photos and papers to once more be dried with the magic paper drier she and Naru had bought from the Kiseru Lady for the low, low cost of 50 milliliters of blood each, and dumped the rest of Mamoru's clothes in the dorm washing machines.

The only thing left to do is go on patrol, which is what many people don't want her to do, and what she desperately wants to do, so, obviously, it's what she'll do.

She's marching to her door when someone knocks, and she says, "I'm actually heading out -"

She opens the door. She sees the extremely tall, gaunt, terrifying looking man, and shrieks -

"WHAT THE FU- Slasher?!?!?"

The Slasher will feel how the bright burst of fear just sucks itself away as she stops being afraid and stares and takes in the bedrsggled mess of a person and the fruit basket and -

"Uh, come in, someone might peek out to see why I yelled, hurry - Naru-chan said you tried to help Mamochan?"

Taro Yamada has posed:
As her fear for him shrinks, so does the Slasher - down from seven feet to his natural height, a little over six feet tall, resized as magically as a cutscene in a game.

Honestly, at this point, he's relieved. It'd be annoying to try and talk to her through the fear. The Slasher wouldn't hurt Usagi, anyway, so she shouldn't be afraid of him.

"Right, right," and he ducks in through the door so Usagi can close it behind him.

"I did. My henchman was delivering the fruit basket," and he raises the aforementioned fruit basket, fruit skewers intact and ruined cake mostly cleaned out, "when that Thetis chick appeared. I jumped in, I lost."

Ugh. One lung injury and he's down for the count. He doesn't like being injured, but he usually has better stamina than that.

"I'm here for three things. I salvaged what I could from the fruit basket - the skewers are all sealed so they'll be good," and he sets the basket down on a convenient table. "I told Naru and Cat Noir what I saw, but if you have any questions, I'll answer."

And then he bows. A FULL bow, from the waist, ninety degrees, the kind of thing Usagi's seen in old movies. "I apologize. This isn't the kind of villainy that's supposed to be happening after an engagement."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Her heart is pounding, her blood pumping, her face flushed, and Usagi is 100% annoyed about it. The door is shut behind him, and Usagi leans against it for a moment, fingering her broach. Mamochan had already blown his identity, so if this is the world's most convoluted trap ever, she's more than willing to do the same.

"You actually bought him a fruit basket?" Her lips twitch into an almost smile, that falls when he mentions Thetis, and the attempt. "You tried. That's more than I did, doing my stupid homework instead of helping him."

As if science was half as important as Mamoru!

And then he bows, fully at the waste, the kind of thing she's never seen someone do in real life, and her eyes are wide, her eyebrows way up. "Um... thank you for trying to help. But... honestly, this is exactly the kind of villainy I should have expected after our engagement?"

That jealous, hateful Beryl would never, ever accept that Mamochan didn't want her.

Taro Yamada has posed:
"Of course I got him a fruit basket. A homemade one, from a student here, so you can be sure it's not poisoned. Sailor Moon chewed me out that I owed him one, AND he got engaged right in front of me. Do I look like I want to get shot full of laser holes by a married woman? I don't have a death wish!"

Purely practical! Not like he has complicated feelings about any of this! No sir!

"No, it's better that you weren't there," the Slasher says, his face serious; he reaches out for her, then hestiates before he touches, letting his hand curl away. "Thetis started at bone breaking attacks and went up to stuff that'd kill a normal human. If Beryl's got it out for you, she'd have had Thetis kill you, and then you couldn't help Sailor Moon save Mamoru."

Which. Truly, his ire has grown from Beryl hurting Fuyuko to doing - all this. All This???

"I literally have to eat blood to live and somehow I'm not the hugest asshole in this town. What is wrong with Tokyo?"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"A homemade one from a student?" She squints, "You didn't mug someone for it, did you?"

You drained her boyfriend, Slasher, you get the suspicion! At least in terms of other evil acts, you know.

"...okay, that's fair. But for the record, Sailor Moon doesn't kill people unless they do like, attempted murder stuff. Draining her (and my!!!) boyfriend is very, very, very, very rude, but she wasn't going to kill you over it." Must she always live with people assuming she's a murderer? Must she?

But then his face goes solemn and serious, her own is stricken and worried, as he describes the level of damage. Thetis had opened up a whirlpool in Tokyo Bay, so it's not like she's surprised that this happened but at the same time - can't they be safe in their own homes???

"You have to eat blood to live," she repeats, "They do all this messed up stuff for fun. That's the difference between evil and hungry."

Taro Yamada has posed:
"I paid him! With money! Why would I mug someone for a fruit basket? If it's my fruit basket, I'm making sure it's a high quality fruit basket! And it'd be against the spirit of the request to show up with a stolen fruit basket!"

He has standards! Come on!

"I'm literally a monstrosity that feeds on the living, plus I know his secret identities. It's a practical solution to both problems. I know she probably wouldn't kill me, but you know I probably wouldn't kill you and you're still kind of uneasy, aren't you?"

Look! He's trying to be cautious! He has a healthy respect for a woman who shoots enormous laser beams!

His face twists up, something like confusion. "So? Blood is blood, and meat is meat. I still hurt your boyfriend. I've hurt lots of people for a long time. I'm probably the same age as your grandparents, that's how long I've been doing this."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"You really, really, obviously, are," Usagi says with the kind of blunt honesty you could only get from a teenaged girl. "But yeah, I don't have... as soon as Mamochan is back and normal and okay, we're going to circle back around to all of that, okay? But for now, think about it this way: are cats evil because they eat up fish, or are they just hungry? Yeah, the fish don't like it, and since we're the fish, we don't want you to do it, but there's a difference between eating and playing with your food."

She makes a face about even passingly calling people food - ugh. Feels bad.

"We will talk about this later. I will absolutely use that boss around ticket, because Thetis won't be around forever, but so help me, Mamochan and I will."

The sodden basket has been accepted - she sticks her half-eaten stick of candied fruit back in it, then puts the basket on her desk to be dealt with later.

Taro Yamada has posed:
"I'm not having a crisis!" says man who is clearly having a crisis.

"Look - I just - I don't want to take up your energy, you've got a huge problem and I'm fine," says man who is still damp from being drowned. "I just - have been informed that these two things are the same, actually?"

(Jack on his shoulder, whispering in his ear. Your presence hurts people. Your power is for hurting people. Why resist your nature? Let them see that the way they hate you is justified. Strike them down.)

"...hence the apology basket. Which," and he is actively struggling to put his words together at this point. "Look. If I'm not a monster, and we're cool with that. Can we talk about this later? Since the basket got smashed, you get one free boss me around ticket. Which, I have no idea if I can do anything, I blew my chance to take out Thetis, but it's yours if you want it. Or you can tell me to go away, I can do that."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Just this once, I don't mind someone assuming I'm the killing type," Usagi huffs, "Because you're not wrong. I want them dead. I want them done, so no one else gets hurt, and Mamochan and I can sleep and not worry that the nightmare won't stop when we wake up."

Because they're going to have nightmares. But the problem now, is that the nightmares are only half as bad as reality, most of the time. Beryl has put them through so much. She'll keep putting them through so much, until she's stopped.

"I have people lining up to feed me," she says, "So instead of feeding me, how about you make another cake, when my fiance is back?"

Taro Yamada has posed:
"Exactly. I don't know why you'd be so surprised that I'd think Sailor Moon would do the same. Why wouldn't a hero defeat evil things?"

A pause, and he throws up his hands again. "I"m thinking about the cat and fish thing, we'll deal with that later! Don't yell at me!"

(hey, he is capable of learning after all!)

And he blinks. "I was going to make another cake once he got back anyway. An engagement oughta be celebrated," the Slasher says, unaware of the verbal slip he's made. "But for you, I'll throw in an extra cake for those girls in uniforms that Sailor Moon hangs out with. Hell, I'll even throw in a third cake for that blond kid and his girlfriend in honor of not getting murdered tonioght." He can be very reasonable! Especially about celebration cake. "I need three days prep time. Can I give you my henchman's number? I got a guy."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Because a lot of people accuse Sailor Moon of murder," Usagi grumbles, but it's more to herself than the incredibly weird vampire that's somehow the least dangerous enemy they have, despite that one time he scared her boyfriend so much.

"I'm not going to yell. I don't have any more energy for it, honest. And... lets wait on that cake. I'll tell you when, and you'll have three days from then, okay?"

Because she wants to think she'll have Mamoru back in three days, but will she? Better to wait. Better to have cake fresh.

"You're a really nice guy, for someone who thinks he's evil. Give me your hench guy's number, and skedaddle, okay? You are in a girl's room, you know."

Taro Yamada has posed:
"That's stupid. Is Susano-o a murderer for killing Yamata-no-Orochi? Is it wicked for a miko to banish an onryo who's going around eating people? I don't know much about all this magical kid stuff, but if she's anything like you, anyone she's killing probably had it coming."

Which he can say as an unbiased observer. Totally.

"A villain does what they want whenever they want, and a hero is bound by duty and laws," the Slasher says as a tiny doll in white pops out of a cloak pocket and hands him a pen and notebook. He writes a phone number down on a page, tears it out, and sets it on the table for her. He's not gonna go reaching at a girl in her own room! Scandalous!

"It's no fun beating up a bunch of kids. This is stupid. Being evil is supposed to be more fun than this."

Ugh. "I'm out of your hair now. Lock the window after me, ok?" he'll hippity hop on out!

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"...maybe so." But then? Usagi snorts. "Heroes aren't bound by laws and rules. We do what we want. It's just that we want to make things better, instead of making them worse. What villains really want is to do whatever they want and get away with no consequences. Eat all the ice cream and then just take somebody elses. Rob a store because you want jewelry and never mind if someone can't afford to eat because of it. Villains are villains because they think the consequences are optional. Heroes are heroes because we help people even though we don't have to."

This is what she fully believes.

"Also, who are you going to beat up then? A bunch of helpless adults? That just sounds like bullying. All the powerful adults are on your side. Think about that, Slasher."

He doesn't need to know about Inai-sensei from her! The written down phone number is nodded at, and she rolls her eyes just a little.

"I'm leaving it unlocked so my cat can get back in," she says stubbornly, and watches him go.

Chuunibyou are so weird!

Taro Yamada has posed:
"No, I'm beating up powerful adults. All adults want to do what they want with no consequences, some of them just do it more than others." It's about doing what you want, and being strong enough or brave enough to get away with it.

(And perhaps he finds himself hesitating to hurt people like him, kids caught up in this supernatural nonsense. It's FINE. He can get away with it.)

"Also," he says as he sits on the windowsill, preparing to hop out, "I don't work for Obsideon. I do not have powerful adults on my side. Do not! Call me one of those dipshits again!"

And Slasher OUT.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"You eat blood! If you haven't been attacking kids, you've been attacking adults, dummy! If you don't want to be lumped with the dipshits, don't do what they do!"

Her window is Shut.

No more comments. Last word is hers.

...if only that made her feel better. Mamoru would laugh, if he was here. He'd be on her side. They'd be eating fruit candy together.

"Mamochan... we'll get you back soon. We will."