1728/Legend of Double Girl
From Radiant Heart MUSH
Legend of Double Girl | |
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Date of Scene: | 05 July 2024 |
Location: | The Shed |
Synopsis: | Tamaki, Usagi, and Amy are studyinbg in The Shed, when the conversation turns to what it means to be someone with more memories than years. How does one girl, or better yet, how does one be, anyway? |
Cast of Characters: | Usagi Tsukino, Jadeite, Amanda Faust |
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
With incense burning in polite offering, textbooks piled high, homework spread out, and Usagi stuffing her face on conbini snacks, the Shed looks exactly like a normal study spot, for once. Sure, there are whiteboards sharing haphazard notes on villain schemes and goings ons and notes pinned to a bulletin board and someone still hasn't erased the last Eclipse Zone drawing from the chalkboard at the far end of the room, but, otherwise?
It could definitely pass for a regular spot.
"Tama-kun," Usagi sighs, "Are you sure that's how this bit of math works?"
Who even needed math. It's pointless. Irrelevant. They have calculators now.
- Jadeite has posed:
"I'm sure it's how it works. I know sin and cos are devilish little creatures whose use is confusing, but the sooner you pass the class on them, the sooner you can put them in a jar and forget them until algebra betrays you."
They have calculators, but you need to know the faces of the wicked maths to identify them and put them in the calculators!
....He might be having a little too much fun, drawing SIN and COS the awful imps for Usagi to menace with her pencil when the math gets too fustrating.
- Amanda Faust has posed:
"Guuuh... why do they care so much about memorizing dates...? I can't store vast amounts of memorized information like all 151 pokemon anymore, ya know?" Amy blinks. "Wait. With a teenage brain, actually maybe I can?" She sighs. "But that's still the most boring way to learn about history... I'd rather focus on what happened, what the stake for everyone involved was, and why, you know? How're you doing over there?"
Amy looks up from across the table, and gets up to walk around and see what they're working on (and in so doing get a break from her own memorization.)
She looks to Tamaki, "You'd think that, but you'll be using this in higher math classes. Trig functions'll come up in calculus too... although, honestly? I could never remember all the trigonometric identities. I had to re-derive them algebraically every time... which would probably be a problem if I didn't do the rest of the math test so fast..."
She looks to Usagi, cocking her head to one side and looking sympathetic. "It's useful to understand the concept, anyway. If you don't know what to ask the calculator or why, it can't help you, can it?"
She taps her chin. "What part about it is troubling you, exactly? Maybe there's another way to explain it..."
After stepping into the shed, she magic'd her outfit into a black fitted T-shirt with the word 'nyo' and a cute cartoon tiger on the front, and blue shorts and mayching jacket with some pride flag on the shoulder involving blue and pink and a gender symbol. Trying different things with clothing items she doesn't actually have, it doesn't seem to take much magic; and also, since she's in a magical place, safely trying out flaunting her status in the wake of talking to Taro a few days ago.
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"I hate all of it," she tells Amy, sighing, drawing little arrows at the imps SIN and COS that Tama-kun has drawn for her. Mamoru and Ami have explained this stuff to her before, and it helps, a little, but she doesn't care about it, and that makes it sooo hard to remember any of it at all, so...
So honestly, she just crams right before exams, to make sure she... sort of.... passes? And then happily forgets it all.
"Trigonometry is optional," she says with great relief, "Technically, I guess, all of it is optional, but, my Mama and Papa will not let me drop out."
Deeply unfortunately. But especially since she's got to let them know she's engaged soon, she's trying not to push it.
"History asks you to memorize the dates so you can pin it to when things happen. Like, think about it, if you know Perry-san came to Japan, but you don't remember when, you could mix it up with like, the Dutch, and they brought the guns and that helped Oda-san when he tried to like, take over Japan, and those were totally different."
Not that she's the best at history either, but she's not bad at it, not the way she is at math. History has fun stories you can tell.
"It's all bad. I don't even know why I'm still studying this today, I should like... try physics, or chemistry, or geography..."
- Jadeite has posed:
"I find memorizing history here easier than memorizing American history. At least here, I can have an estimation of which century things took place in to narrow it down rather than getting 1836 and 1863 confused, which are. Very different times in American history." You flunk a history test in fifth grade ONCE and you never live it down.
He looks up to Amy. "Oh, that's what I mean, algebra betraying her! When sin and cos come back! My math classes are bringing them back." Disgosting.
"Do you have any ways to help remmeber the differences between sin and cos? I could do it back when I took geometry, but it's been so long I barely remember. At least I can keep Perry and the Dutch seperated because my parents always joked about it."
- Amanda Faust has posed:
"Well, yeah. American history's easier when you grew up in it from elementary school. I'm not going to forget about 1776 or even the War of 1812, which everybody forgets about. Although I confess I'm fuzzy on why it happened..." Amy blinks. "Damn. I guess 9/11 would be part of history classes too now... Everyone here was born after it... 2001, I mean..."
She looks at Usagi. "That's just it, though! Physics, once you're past the basics of the relationship between force, mass, acceleration, momentum, and dealing with specific heats and heats of fusion and vaporization... Then you get into like optics and electricity, and, and alternating current phases and any circuit with more than one of a resistor, capacitor, and uh... inducer?"
Amy sweatdrops, wide-eyed. "It's been awhile. Although they might not teach you that stuff before college anyway...?" She mutters to herself, 'That's not right, what was the word... l? L, L, L...'
Amy blinks at Tamaki. "Huh? I dunno. Like I said, I could never remember trigonometric identities, I always had to re-derive them from sohcahtoa."
Beat.
"...Right."
She grabs a piece of paper and her pen -- it looks like a nice black office pen that writes in thin black lines, kind of distinctive compared to the generic ballpoint -- and writes SOH CAH TOA. Then doodles right triangles under each, marking up the relevant sides followed by the fraction of which divided by which is the function. "This is how I always remembered it..."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Oh, Tama-kun is American," Usagi says casually, "Couldn't you tell?"
Usagi, you're just as blond and blue-eyed as him and decidedly not American you can't just say that!!!
"You just said a bunch of words from my classes, and I can tell you really like them," Usagi says, honestly, looking up at Amy after that recitation of physics concepts, "But, like, I'm really not. I hate school. I've always hated school. I'm just trying to get through, so I can make sure I pass, you know? Then Mama and Papa will be satisfied, and I'll marry Mamochan and we'll be like, you know, super thrilled and happy and stuff," she smiles, genuinely, at the thought. Though, when Amy offers some tips? It's not turned down. She dutifully copies down the words.
"...I appreciate your help, Amy-chan. And Tama-kun! Just because I hate school dosn't mean I don't appreciate your help! In fact, I've been meaning to catch up with you, because I brought you something!"
She reaches into her bag, as she remembers it - and then she - frowns, because it's not in the bag... oh right! She has to dig into her subspace - one second, just a little thought - there! A rock, about the size of a fist, grey and black and carefully cleaned of dust.
"A moon rock!"
- Jadeite has posed:
"My mom's American, my dad is Japanese," Tamaki explains sheepishly. "They met in college and got along like a house on fire. My mom likes calling Dad Perry's Revenge, since he invaded America..." Usually while being mushy. Embarassing... "I did most of my classes until I was 12 in America adn then moved." Because he was recruited by Beryl but no one needs to get into that!
"I know you hate school," he tells Usagi, nodding sagely. "That's why we've got to give you as many tips and tricks so your brain can escape unscathed by knowledge. You show up, you take the test, you tip your head out and let the math puddle out." He is sympathetic to her woes! That's why he's trying to break the math down into the smallest pieces possible, so she can get on with it. He can't MAKE her love learning, so getting her to speedrun school so she can get her happily ever after seems like a good plan -
Hey what. "Usagi-san! You can't just - hold on, I have a bag - people can be allergic to moon dust! Your pockets are going to be coated in allergens!"
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Amy nods to Tamaki, smiling a little at his mother's joke.
Usagi hates school. "Right... I have... mixed feelings on it myself, despite everything. But..." Usagi's smile is infectious. She thinks for a moment, and lets out a breath. "I confess, I'm not sure you'll need trig or calculus. Like, the most complicated thing you'll probably need to know is calculating constant interest. And maybe how to count large numbers really fast, so you can check if brute-forcing a problem isn't going to work. Algebra and maybe even trig, though..." Amy taps her chin. "Okay, actually, estimating sizes and distances could be important when you might get sucked into weird magical lands, so there's that. Mizuno-san can probably remember how to do it better than me, though."
And then Usagi reaches into an unseen pocket, and... her eyes go wide, and she gasps. "Is that..."
A moon rock!
Amy stares at it, holding her breath, and then steps back. And then steps way back. "It's not that I don't appreciate it, that's really cool, but isn't moon dust really dangerous? I forget the specifics. Wait, yeah, what he said, is that all over your clothes now??"
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"I'm sure it's not terrible for other people, cause Ami-chan loves it, and Mamochan likes it well enough, and Rei-chan's already talking about college too," she rolls her eyes a little at that, "But I'm just trying to get by. I'm better at things when they're practical and when they matter.
However, these reactions to her gift are totally unwelcome. They both are given the most skeptical looks of loving condescension, "I washed it first, duh. First with Ami-chan's water attacks, just to be sure, then with some soap and cleaner when we got back to Earth. You think Ami-chan and Mamochan wouldn't know about how people are allergic to the dust on the moon?"
A siiiiiiigh, and she shakes her head.
"It's clean, and so are my clothes, and the extra ones I brought from Rashmi-chan and I dunno, anyone else who wants one, since we're probably not going back for a little while."
It had been unsettling, on the Moon. It's too new and too old, all at once. And seeing the last remnants of her mother...
Usagi shakes her head, just a tiny bit. She doesn't sound especially annoyed, so at least they haven't actually upset her. "I do think about things, you know."
- Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki sags with relief when Usagi clarifies she washed it with Ami's water attacks. "Sorry. I saw a documentary on moon rocks as a kid and part of it was how people could be deeply allergic to them. Not to mention all the weird minerals on them... How would it look if we all got Moon Fever when we're trying to get Beryl's head on a stick?"
They need to be in tip top shape for that, you know? Not to mention if Usagi got sick from a moon rock righta fter she got engaged.... Mamoru would be upset, so Tamaki would also have to be upset.
"How..." Tamaki says, worrying at his lip, and then stops - can he ask what itw as like being back, after he helped destroy the moon? "...was it a good visit?"
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Oh right, she had Mizuno-tensai with her. "Right. Sorry! I... It's like if you said 'Hey, here, have some uranium!' Of course you must have found a way to make it safe, but... Sorry. Prepared for danger and magic all the time, like... we reacted before we could think that, you know?" She looks a bit embarassedly awkward, and walks back up to the table to lean in close. "Wow. An actual moon rock. That's incredible. I don't have words. And we're never gonna be able to explain to anyone why there's some rock on our shelves." She conjures gloves as she picks it up, feels the weight of it, looks at it from different sides. "This is probably the coolest rock I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever seen... I've never held in my hands something that came from a light-second away."
More softly, she mutters, "Coolest rock if we don't count souls, I guess. It's so weird that I have to make that exception..."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"I mean, it's still weird to me because... I'm not allergic to it?" She shrugs a little, more relaxed about it, "I was born there, you know? It might have been... it might have been a literal lifetime ago, but, it's not like I'm all human, still."
Which is something strange to admit, but, in this company, she feels confident she can. Sure, Jadeite is human - mahou, but human - but Amy is a Puella, and she's her, and so she's probably thought about it. Usagi has not forgotten the Halloween speech.
"An actual moon rock! You asked for one, and, honestly, going around looking for nice ones was... cool? Definitely one of the better parts of..." she trails off for a moment, considering Amy's reaction, smiling at her awe and interest.
"...the entire city is still there. That means the rest of them probably are, too, but I didn't - we didn't - no one went to check. But if Capital City is still there..." She trails off, gathering her thoughts. "All the bodies were gone. The plants, water, all the... living, things, and stuff that could like, vanish. But the buildings... it was all just the same."
And they had all seen what that meant. They had been there, on the shadow of the final day.
"I was really glad you asked about getting rocks."
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Usagi's not allergic. "...That makes sense. I guess by magic logic, at least, you should be. And maybe your Sailor Moon form is actually a Lunarian? Was there much physiological difference between the species?"
It's not like I'm all human, still.
Amy stands up straight and turns her head to look at Usagi as she continues talking, clearly struck by the words.
She did ask for a rock! Amy smiles and nods. And a flicker of worry flashes over her face as it's mentioned the city is still there. She's probably picturing the senshi (present) stumbling on a field of mummified bodies... Usagi explains it's otherwise though, and while she's relieved for their sake, she cocks her head to one side. "What do you mean, 'stuff that could vanish'? It's not like it could rot Not for long. Or wear away. Did someone clean it up...? Sorry."
She looks at the rock. "I'm glad I asked, too." She sets it back down on the table and then turns to Sailor Moon and hugs her.
"I was just talking about this with... someone, the other day. About how we're not, all... what we appear to be. We look like... Amanda Faust, fifteen years old, tenth grade at Radiant Heart Academy, and Usagi Tsukino, fifteen years old, tenth grade at Radiant Heart Academy..."
"...And we live those lives, but also, the people inside have... very different experiences from what our identities say. Not just the magical girl stuff, but past lives."
She lets go and steps back, looking at her friend's face. "In a way we're like youkai or something. Caught between worlds, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it makes who we have to seem to be to fit into this world... not all of us, you know?"
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Usagi nods... then shakes her head... then nods... then - "Lunarians lived longer, but that might have been because of magic. My skin glowed - it still glows, when I'm Princess Serenity, and that's not because I'm a princess, you know? It's just... how Lunarians are. Were. Probably a bunch of other stuff, too, but I know I could bleed, and we had pretty similar organs, and..."
She breathes out.
"I think Sailor Moon was just a mahou, like a everyone else, until I became Princess Serenity again, that first time. I had to cut my hair every few hours for weeks, after that day in Soryuu Shrine, because it's longer when I'm Princess Serenity, and it kept growing and growing and growing, to match. I'm just glad it didn't turn silver again, because my parents definitely would not have understood that.
Not even a little bit. She's looking back at Amy, because it's obvious something struck her about her words, but she's not sure what, not entirely. Isn't it obvious?
And Amy has questions about the Moon, and the city, and she says - "Well, the dome is gone. So there's no atmosphere. So there's no weather. No wind, no rain, nothing to wear away the stones. So... you're right, it's not like it could rot."
And her voice is quiet.
"So I was half-afraid we'd find bodies, too, when we saw the city standing. But it was all gone - the bodies, the blood, the trees, the plants, the water, everything that was ever alive, it was all just... gone. But the stone, the glass, the metal, all of that was still there."
She's not entirely sure why, but, she's pretty sure that it has to do with... Saturn. But that is a secret for...
And then she is being hugged! And she hugs back, tight, until Amy releases her.
"...That makes sense. I mean, we're ourselves, but we're not. I'm me, but I'm Serenity, too, and I'm Sailor Moon, and when I'm Sailor Moon, I'm bigger than just me. And when I'm Usagi, I'm not... less than, but I'm different. People see different things. But that's kind of how it always is, you know? People are always more inside than outside. Even without magic, you only ever see parts."
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Amy nods. So Usagi thought of that, too. It is a mystery, albeit one for another day.
"...Well, yeah. People are always more than they seem, but they're not usually... someone who lived fourteen or thirty-six or seventy or 14,000 years of a different life as someone else... well, as someone else who is also themself."
Amy looks away awkwardly. "Sorry, I'm... guh, bad at giving extemporaneous speeches. There was... there was like this whole meaningful moment and stuff, I swear, but I'm kinda stumbling putting it into words, I guess. But... It made me feel less alone, realizing that I have that in common, in some form, with a number of others, so... I wanted to share it. Um... I can try to figure out how to better say it again later..."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"...oh," Usagi scrunches her nose up for a moment, then looks to Amy, and nods, "You meant because of how you were your other self, before. That makes sense."
There's something sheepish in her smile.
"It is a big thing, isn't it? Being someone else who's also you but maybe not, because you're doing different things from them?"
She is Serenity and Serenity is her, but she is also Usagi and Usagi is not Serenity. Two parts of a whole, but which whole? Complicated thoughts. A lot of identity crisis. Growing out of who you were, but also, who you were.
"I think, maybe, I wasn't listening enough. Sorry."
- Amanda Faust has posed:
The red-eyed redhead nods. "Not... just that, but that it also colors how we see things and experience... experiences."
"It's okay. I... I didn't word it well? Like I said, it was kind of, rambling, and not a proper speech, but uh..."
She looks at Usagi, and then away again. "Basically, it's been... bothering me. That parts of this life, normal experiences for everyone else, don't feel like just part of normal life for me, they feel like I'm in a goddamn manga. And," She glances at Usagi, and away again, "I worried that meant something was wrong with me, or I've got brainrot from too much manga or something, but... no."
She looks at Usagi and doesn't turn back away this time, "...It's because the person looking out from behind these eyes isn't like every other teenage girl. Even every magical one. She is in some ways the same, but in other ways, of course... so that's just, going to be a different subjective experience."
"Guh, I almost had it there, but kinda... lost the thread at the end there. That I'm not, like... damaged from the experience, just... different. It... it makes sense to me? Is this getting across? I dunno, do you ever like... Just be going about your daily life and suddenly find yourself looking at some piece of modern earth life from Princess Serenity's point of view? Only, not exactly, because Princess Serenity is you, so it's not, like her separate point of view, but you are, you're both Usagi Tsukino and Princess Serenity and so the way you look at something is different?"
She grimaces awkwardly. "Is uh... is this making any sense...?"
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Hmmm, I mean, that makes sense," she considers, then nods. "You're like... living an isekai, but it's your real life?"
A suggestion, an attempt to offer some words to an experience that she doesn't have, but can kind of understand.
"Because, I know it's a bad meme, but, you're not, like other girls. And that's not a bad thing! But it's real, too."
Amy offers her own example, and Usagi nods, and glances at Tamaki, and decides not to say the thing that sprang to mind, immediately, the thing about forgiveness and lack thereof, and starting over without forgetting or forgiving the unthinkable.
"I do. Not a lot, but, I mean..." she tries to think of how to explain it to someone else, someone who's not Mamoru, someone who... "I remember being Serenity like it was just a few months ago. I didn't always, but, the memories came back, and they're not total, or anything, but - I remember that life."
"And it doesn't feel like it's someone else, except for when it does, because like - you know Princess Serenity wasn't Sailor Moon? She never fought, ever, a day in her life. I never fought, ever, when I was her, I was a pacifist, and I didn't know how to fight - it had never, ever, even occurred to me, that I could. That I could be like Mercury and Mars and Jupiter and Venus. And sometimes I look at like... the Moon. Or I see a movie. Or I watch a video on Clock App, and it's like, oh that's wrong. That's different?"
She frowns.
"I don't know if that's the same thing. But, I was a different girl, but I was the same girl, and they're both here."
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Amy looks down at her hand. "With how isekai stories go, if I had gotten isekaied, I probably had a decent chance of coming out looking like this... Not isekai, exactly, but..."
Not like other girls. She can't help laughing. "Ahaha! Yeah I was kinda dancing around that phrase, but it's true."
Amy listens intently to Usagi's explanation. "Yeah... not exactly like that, since yeah, I didn't live in another society -- well, I mean, it was a different time and country, but not so far removed, and like, I lived through all the in-between, so stuff like ClockApp and cultural changes aren't usually striking the same way, aside from how it normally is, um... You'll get what I mean in 15 or 20 years..."
Amy shakes her head. "Sorry, lemme try again. Yeah not the culture hitting like that, but yeah, like... Normal life. Milestones. Going out shopping for clothes. Being treated like one of the girls. Any time it hits how I'm being seen differently now than I was. I'm someone who lived another life but was never a guy inside, but I didn't have a childhood that prepared me for this, either, and I didn't like... always know, or figure it out and then come out as trans, either, I'm coming at these life experiences from a different angle from anyone else. But it's not because something's wrong, it's because, of course it's different."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
A little laugh, once Amy starts laughing. "Sometimes it's the right thing to say, even if it sounds wrong!"
Even if it is meme'd to hell.
"Like that time we went shopping together, you and that other girl?" Amy hadn't known a thing about how to start shopping - how to start figuring out clothes, as a girl, and it had seemed obvious to Usagi, but, she has a lifetime of experience.
And maybe in fifteen or twenty years, when technology and culture are different, she'll get it. Her papa's talked about that before - trying to keep up with the kids, because he's old now, and doesn't know the lingo.
"That makes sense. I mean... you got a whole new life, right? New body, new life, and things are different now, but also, it's not like..." she trails off for a moment.
"Like, okay, when we were back in that past bubble, the days we ended up in Capital City... I knew how to handle that. Because I was Serenity. I knew that city, and those people. Even if I, Usagi, maybe didn't technically grow up there, Serenity did, so I can still lean on that. But you didn't get to grow up as Amy, you just... got dumped into the world as Amy. So you're like, in remedial school. But it's life."
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Amy nods.
(Editor's note: Although, the events surrounding Natsumi are in a weird canon spot, since if she'd continued to be around, Amy would have felt less alone about this sooner.
New body, new life. Amy nods, smiling a bit.
Although she makes a slight face at 'remedial school'. "I mean... yeah? Except I don't actually get remedial classes in girl. I'm just kind of figuring stuff out as I stumble into it and being so very glad every time I get a chance to, to get help. Or, or to go do something together."
Amy slumps her shoulders, face cringing a bit. "Man... in this situation, classes in 'girl' would be kinda nice actually, and I wish manga could give an idea of what that would look like without the mangaka getting terribly horribly weird about it." She sighs.
"That's. There's stories about this kind of thing happening to people. Sometimes in isekai but more often just, in life. That's what I felt like I was stuck in. Well, plus magical girl as the mixed genre, instead of like isekai or something. If it wasn't clear already? I guess most people don't think about it. Makes me feel like a bit of a weirdo talking to people about that, 'cuz it's kind of a weird niche to be obsessed with..."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Okay, fair," she makes a face, "I don't think remedial girl classes would be a good idea, anyway, because... it'd probably be full of like, stereotypes and gross things about being a girl, but... it'd be good if you had gotten like, a textbook or something."
Girl classes... for a moment she had lived in a world where sexism wasn't a thing and that might not be something horrible.
"I think it makes sense, though," she frowns, considering, "I mean, you're a foreigner, so the way things work is already knew to you, and you're a girl for the first time, and on top of that, you're still figuring things out. So... yeah, life probably does make more sense, as a manga than the real thing."
- Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki's been listening all this time, attention split between how to translate the next bit of math into something Usagi can digest and the conversation, but he finally works up the nerve to chip in:
"For me, life in the past and my life before I rememebered and my life in Obsideon are all muddled up. Sometimes I'll look in the kitchen cabinet for a spice that hasn't existed in millinia, or sometimes I'll go to work on some project before I remember I already did it and had it thwarted. I'm Tamaki, but I'm also Jadeite, and I'm also a kid from Indiana whose dad is from Japan, and I'm all muddled up in between them."
His life is so weird. But at this point, how can any of it be called normal when he's been so many different people?
- Amanda Faust has posed:
New Body New Life actually sounds like a good manga or anime title. Amy wonders if it's taken.
Stereotypes and gross things... Amy lets out a long-suffering sigh while staring into the distance. But it'd have been nice to have at least gotten a textbook. She nods, smiling. "Yeah..."
She nodnods at someone saying that life makes more sense as a manga than anything Amy expected as life. "Did you like, kinda imagine there, how there could be a wholesome version? In a world where things worked very differently, I guess? Not like I can be much of a 'class' of one..."
Jadeite shares his experience. "Oh, right." Amy knew he had a past life but hadn't really thought about anyone's but Usagi's and Mamoru's. She winces at the idea of looking for a long-lost spice, and looks sympathetically concerned at the thought of starting a project you already did. "Wow, that's..."
Amy scratches her head. "You'd think, right, that I'd mix up stuff like... Getting up in the middle of the night and trying to go standing up, or trying to shave my face in the morning, or something," She rubs her chin and smiles at the soft smoothness, "But living in the surroundings of a dorm reminds me of the situation, and I hated looking in the mirror so much that shaving was never really an automatic thing."
"It's more like... My brain saved memories and thoughts in the context they were in when I last thought of them, and I keep like... accessing one that was saved the other way, like, I hear someone talking about how all guys are like this, and I think 'hey, I'm not like that! Oh, right.' And I keep tripping over thoughts like that, but it's less and less often all the time."
"I guess sort of... having the memories of me-but-not-me is way more common at Radiant Heart than I thought..."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Tamaki gets a vaguely concerned look thrown his way as well, Usagi frowning a little as he mentions some of what he's experienced - the spices, she totally gets, especially now that they've experienced some of the past all over again, but the projects...
"Don't forget you can ask Mamochan for help with some of that stuff," she says firmly, "Even if he might have not have worked with you on all your projects, Hemachan was in the Dark Kingdom longer than you, and he's in the same grade as you, so you have a lot of the same class work."
It's not orders, and it's nothing like a sisterly scolding - it's just a soft, but matter of fact, reminder to use his resources. It's only once that's all settled that she turns back to Amy, humming in thought, "I mean, I don't know about classes in being a girl, but now that I think about it, there are like...."
She trails off, realizing it probably wouldn't be a good idea to recommend miko classes to her very American friend.
"Well, you can always ask me about girl things! I've been a girl twice over." A smile. "And maybe it's not totally normal, to have extra memories, but... it's not super abnormal, either."
- Jadeite has posed:
"That's how it is for me! I'll see some lever design in my textbook and think, oh, I need to finish the lever that summons paper mache spiders to attack the puller," Tamaki tells Amy. "Or I'll see a certain flower and go, I should press that for the prince later, those don't grow here usually - as if we're back at home and not in modern Japan. Little things that make me remember, like going back into a room I was in before to remember why I had to run into the kitchen."
("At home." Not "in the past." Even now, home slips between centuries.)
"I know when to ask for help. I go to him when things get particularly strange, but it's not often. I think the partial amnesia was a favor, in the end," Tamaki tells Usagi with a shrug.. "A clean slate. Even if it is a little odd to see people and know them and also have no idea who they are."
And. Hmm. "When I was living in America, some of my cousins went to ettiquette classes or dance classes and we'd learn things like the boy's or girl's part of the dance, or how to eat with three forks. Is there something like that here?"
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Miko classes? Amy is living in a manga. She went to have cake at a cafe once because that it was a 'girl thing' lodged in her brain and she sought out red bean rice last August. This is... yeah, she's an American living in a manga.
"Twice." She taps her chin mock-thoughtfully. "Does that make you a double-girl?" She smiles at her silliness.
She blinks at Jadeite. "Why would you even have that lev-- wait, how do you even make the spiders move, is that a thing you can do on purpose with magic? ...I never thought about how controllable, or not, it was, for the people throwing youma at us."
She looks at him with that look of sympathetic concern, again. But not pity. She won't disrespect him like that. "Would you... like a hug?"
Etiquette classes? Amy slumps her shoulders, leaning over the table. "Man... on the one hand, like... I've never been big on that stuff... but on the other hand... I don't know, like..." She lifts her head and stands up straight again, "It's like the first time I head one of my classmates say some dumb assumption about me because I'm a girl. Like... Nice to be included in this group, but at the same time, why that weird... why stick that to it?"
"...I suppose dance classes wouldn't be the same thing, though. Nor etiquette classes if I treated them like a game..." She slumps shoulders again. "Aww, wait, that'd kind of be a lot of time for something not really fun, though..."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"I mean, it was, because you don't remember being a huge jerk," Usagi says, maybe a little more bluntly than usual, "Which I think probably helps you more than anyone, because we remember but... it helps you not like jerk!you, which helps us?"
Hm, that got a little confusing, she should sort that out... eh, later.
"Oh, like, I'm glad you see me as a girl but also did you have to make me experience sexism?" She wrinkles her nose. "Yeah, I can see how that'd be pretty sucky. Honestly, you should read shoujo manga! And talk to other girls about stuff, and I mean, yeah, maybe you're not like other girls in your situation, but, it's not like you're the only girl who's ever struggled with being a girl, you know?"
She considers Sailor Eris, but that's not her story to tell, and doesn't say anything.
"Dance classes and etiquette classes, those might teach you more about how girls are expected to be, but I think you're the only one who can teach you how to be a girl. Take it from the legendary Double Girl."
- Jadeite has posed:
"It's a lot of technical stuff that I've forgotten a lot of," Tamaki says sheepishly about the paper mache spider lever. "Depends from project to project. A lot of my old magic stemmed from art projects that got repurposed..."
Blink blink. "Yes?" He doesn't feel particularly bad about this, but. It's nice to be hugged? And it might help her more than it helps him.
"I don't know a lot about how to be a girl, but I think Usagi's on to something about needing your own girl path. My mom's way different about being a girl than my cousin and theyre both different about it than Usagi is, and how Ami is, and how Mako is, and how you are. Which Is vague! But! I guess it's as personal as becoming not evil has been for me?"
- Amanda Faust has posed:
Amy smiles as she steps over to hug Jadeite warmly. Squeezy hugs are the best. She nods. "Yeah. I get it. There's lots of ways to be a girl, it's just... I've felt a bit closed off from talking to almost anyone about it because... yeah."
"It sort of... like sometimes I'm excited and sometimes I feel like I don't... have standing? Like, I don't know what I'm talking about, I didn't have that experience of growing up this way... It's like I have to be invited? I dunno..."
At Usagi's comment about gender-affirming sexism, Amy nods, red hair bouncing. "Right?! Ooh, what shoujo manga do you reccomend?"
She tilts her head thoughtfully. "Struggled with... yeah, I guess so. E-even if I'm coming from a different angle... I guess the last year has been the same... inasmuch as it can be, anyway..."
The legendary Double Girl! Amy laughs out loud. "I wonder what the pride flag for that looks like?" She glances down at the patch on her conjured jacket. It's clearly not the normal trans flag. Six stripes, with light blue on the top and pink on the bottom growing paler towards the center, and a gender symbol overlaid with Venus's mirror's handle out the top at an angle and Mars's spear pointing downward.
"Yeah... I guess it's something everyone's gotta figure out, how to be what they are..." She turns to give Usagi a hug too, "I just... I guess I've struggled to figure out what I am, too. Not... a girl or not, that became pretty clear last September, but... like, what is the other part on top. An... in-between. In that not all of my experience fits into one state, kinda. An extra-memories-person."
"Thanks. For helping me feel less alone. And showing me this wasn't, like... weird to talk about. Or, I guess it is, but that it's not bad because it's weird."