Honestly? I’ll find a way (Hinoiri Kirara)

Honestly? I’ll find a way (Hinoiri Kirara)
Date of Cutscene:	20 November 2023
Location:	Dusk Zone
Synopsis:	Sunbreaker thinks about her recent failures, all she has lost, all she has gained, and ruminates over the first time she had seen that her mentor... wasn't as perfect as she'd believed. She begins to question... how can she find a way?
Cast of Characters:	Hinoiri Kirara

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== Another world, long ago ==

Hinoiri gave a light yawn when she trotted outside, glancing up at the full moon. Once, she would have been excited to have a ‘special lesson’ with Sora. Once, she would have thought it’d be some new spell or a new field of research. But the last few years as the sovereign’s student had taught her that these ‘special lessons’ meant one thing and one thing only. A waste of both their time.

Sora was sitting in the garden, overlooked by a silly statue. A picnic blanket set out, filled with food. “Ahhhh, my most prized pupil. I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.”

“I’m still a few minutes early,” Hinoiri said before giving a yawn. “Sorry, I was busy studying Sutāsuwāru--”

“Oh, my dear pupil, you really do spend too much time in those books,” Sora said, before glancing up at the moon. “I hope you’re excited for tonight’s lesson. I know I am.”

“Excited?” Hinoiri asked. A smile formed on her lips. Maybe this lesson WOULD be special! She sat next to her mentor and grabbed a brownie in her magic, pulling it over. “So, what is today’s lesson?”

“Today’s special lesson is about… honesty,” Sora said, spreading her wings out dramatically.

Once, Hinoiri would have been impressed. Today, however, she just sighed. Talk about a letdown. Another ‘friendship lesson’. As if the last two lessons hadn’t been utter disasters. “Mmmm hm.”

“Honesty is a very important part of being a friend,” Sora said. “On both sides. A true friend is one you can trust to tell you the truth, even when it hurts. However, a true friend is one you can trust to let you be honest with them.”

“Mmmm hm,” Hinoiri said, taking a small bite out of her brownie.

Sora waited, finally looking away from the moon to look at her student. “Hinoiri?”

“Hm? Oh, right, yeah,” Hinoiri said. “Don’t lie, all that stuff. I have some projects I should get back to, is that it?”

“No, it’s not,” Sora said softly. “Honesty is important, Hinoiri. I’d like you to feel you can be entirely honest with me.”

“Riiiiiiight,” Hinoiri said dismissively. “Be entirely blunt and honest with the sovereign of Kirakirafantastica.”

“Don’t take that tone with me. I want you to be entirely honest with me, I won’t get mad,” Sora said. “For now, imagine me not as your mentor, but as your friend.”

Hinoiri gave a soft sigh before popping the last bit of the brownie into her mouth. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“Nonsense,” Sora said. “I foresee great things for you one day, Hinoiri. So please, the truth.”

Great things. How many times had she been told that? Perhaps that was the reason Hinoiri had made such a mistake. Why she had gone against her own judgment and told the ruler of Kirakirafantastica the truth. Told her that these ‘friendship’ lessons were a waste of time and energy. She was a mage, her student. That none of it seemed at all useful in the slightest. What would even be the point? Friendship didn’t make your magic stronger. It didn’t do anything of value.

It was the first time Sora had lost her temper with her. The first time that Sora had yelled at her.

The first time that Hinoiri had seen her teacher be anything less than perfect. The first time she’d realized that Sora didn’t always know better. Honesty? Well…

Sometimes the truth wasn’t what people wanted to hear. The one thing those lessons taught her was that when the sovereign desired something of you, you only told her the truth if it was what she wanted to hear.

== Now, the dusk zone == 

Sunbreaker fiddled with her MP3 player. The truth never meant much, she’d learned that lesson so much more lately. All that mattered was that people heard what they wanted to hear. She was happy. Sayaka was happy. Double Trouble was happy.

Everyone was happy. And everyone was lying. There was so much deceit, so much deception on all sides. Amongst the Sparkle Skirts, amongst Obsidian. So many lies they were all keeping up. Worse, so many of them were accepting of the lies. They were happier in the lies. Pretending. Accepting.

In the end, there was only one truth that remained for her. Ambition. Power. Ascension.

She’d hit another block. That Madoka girl hadn’t been… affected the way she wanted her to be. Had it been the girl’s strange… henshin? Was it her own weakness?

… Was it a desire not to hurt Sayaka’s friend?

The truth was, if she kept allowing herself to fail, then she’d never return home. She’d never be who she could be.

She’d never prove Sora’s betrayal wrong. She felt lost, listless. The voices in her head ever harder to drown out.

Sunbreaker paused when a… saddened tune came over her earbuds. She glanced at the screen. ‘I’ll find a way instrumental’. She almost moved to the next song, wanting to have words yelled at her. That drowned out the words in her head. But then she stopped, instead letting the music flow into her soul.

“You can’t even remember, who drew first blood in our war. Your anger and pain turned to misguided blame, now I’m looking to settle the score!”

The words flowed out from her, the musical magic of Kirakirafantastica taking over. Even in this realm of darkness it still helped her. She rose to her feet and began to walk, memories of that first confrontation rising to the front of her mind.

“So why make me pay the price? When you forced me into this fight?”

Sunbreaker envisioned the day that Sora showed her the mirror. The moment she’d seen her own reflection, but as an all powerful sovereign. An alicorn. A mirror she never would have known if not for Sora bringing it to her attention.

“Now I’m searching for somewhere I belong, After my world you tore it apart. Cause you’d rather go and destroy my all, Than admit you were wrong from the start!”

Sunbreaker saw Sora towering over her. Telling her to go. Telling her she was to never return. Banishing her from the only home she had ever known.

“I have to believe I can fix what you’ve broken someday. I don’t know how, but I’ll find a way.”

Sunbreaker remembered stepping out from the portal, crumbling to her knees. Confused, disoriented. On the grounds of Radiant Heart Academy. A new body, a new form. With only the few things she’d brought with her. Most now long gone, the jewels sold to get her started. All except the necklace and book.

She had fled into the night, confused, lost, scared, finally escaping the city and making it to an old cabin in the woods. Afraid, hugging herself, crying and wanting to go home. She’d been weak then. Alone.

“I never saw the whole picture, From the outside looking in. The secrets you kept Make it hard to accept The truth of what I'm up against.”

Becoming an alicorn, becoming a sovereign was possible. More importantly, it was what Sora had hidden from her. It was her destiny. She’d have thought her mentor pleased by this. Instead the news had driven a wedge between them more than anything else ever could.

Now she saw the truth, though she’d tried to deny it for so long. Her mentor saw her as nothing more than another pawn, a lackey. An audience. She had done the forbidden. She had allowed herself to believe she could ever be more than just another student.

She’d believed she could be an equal. The sin Sora would never forgive.

“Now you despise what I am, And I fear you will never understand!”

She had things here. Things she’d never understood back home. She had friends. She had… people who wanted her. Who wanted HER. Not because she made them feel better about themselves. Not because she brought them glory.

But Double Trouble was right. She wasn’t doing this for herself. No matter what she said or believed in the moment, in her heart she knew she truly did this for one reason above all.

She wanted Sora to see her for what she was.

“Now I’m searching for somewhere I belong, After my world you tore it apart. Cause you’d rather go and destroy my all, Than admit you were wrong from the start! I have to believe I can fix what you’ve broken someday. I don’t know how, but I’ll find a way.”

Her sovereign only saw one thing. Her own glory. Her own authority. She would never see Hinoiri Kirara, her pupil. The only way to be seen, once again… The only way to have a home again would be as Sunbreaker. Not as Sora’s lesser. But as Sora’s equal.

“I'll be the enemy You made me out to be! I won't forget the way You turned your back on me!”

Sora turning her away, casting her out like she was garbage, like she was useless, it would be the greatest mistake her sovereign had ever made. She would be the one who broke the sun. She would rise above.

“Now I’m searching for somewhere I belong, After my world you tore apart.”

A few tears flowed down Sunbreaker’s cheeks and she crumbled before a small lake. But how? Was she any closer? She was just one person. No matter how powerful she was, no matter how much she endured, did it mean anything?

“Cause you’d rather go and destroy my all, Than admit you were wrong from the start!”

Perhaps if she’d stood up to Sora on that night. Perhaps if she’d not backed down. Not hidden away. Perhaps if she’d fought and shown Sora then…

But she’d been a child. Weak. She hadn’t been Sunbreaker then. She’d been a student. But was she any better now that she had lost everything?

“I have to believe I can fix what you’ve broken someday. I don’t know how, but I’ll find a way.”

Sunbreaker stared at her reflection in the water. Or, would have if there was one. The ponds in the dusk zone were often like black voids. No reflection to speak of.

She heard the warning of her coworker. ‘Don’t drink the water’.

Slowly, Sunbreaker reached out and cupped some of the water in both her hands, lifting it up to stare at. Dark energy hurt, but it was the only way someone like her could hope to meet the divine like Sora.

Though another song had started, she didn’t hear it.

“The truth, Sora…” Sunbreaker whispered. “I don’t know how, but I’ll find a way.”

Sunbreaker drank. A fourth crack formed.

For a few moments Sunbreaker felt agony burning through her, as if her fires had erupted in her own blood. She let out an agonized scream, tears in her eyes. However, it soon turned to laughter as the pain was filled with power. Wings of darkness appeared on her back and she shoved the pain aside. She had this. She could control this. She--

Sunbreaker was on her knees, spilling the black, wretched fluid across the ground. Her stomach ached and her body felt like it was on fire. But for a moment she’d felt such power. Though she was exhausted now, she…

…

Where was she? Where was the lake? Why… oh… that water had a heck of a kick. She started to stand, only to fall back. Had she lost consciousness for… who knew how long? Or teleported somewhere else? Where in the dusk zone was she?

Right. Drinking the water was a bad idea. She wasn’t ready for that. Yet.

But one day she would be. For now…

Sunbreaker held out her hand and her familiar flowed out from its gem, body shimmering like an oily, scaly rainbow.

For now she would find other ways to harness it… until she was ready.

Maybe she’d finally found a way.