1844/Don't

Don't
Date of Scene:	08 August 2024
Location:	Jadeite's Apartment
Synopsis:	Jadeite's got a knight complex. Usagi and Mamoru have a lecture.
Cast of Characters:	Mamoru Chiba, Usagi Tsukino, Jadeite

---

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
There's knocking on Tamaki's door, and then the sound of keys, and then the sound of key in lock, and then the sound of door opening and voices. Whose voices? Usagi's and Mamoru's voices.

They have brought things to eat. Mamoru's carrying some golden kingdom kaak warqa that Makoto's been experimenting with making, and some teeth-kicking ginger beer, and also a dinner bento from school.

"--prise him, because then the panic doesn't really have time to set in before whoops we're here," Mamoru's saying as the door opens.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Yeah, I guess that works! He can't run away either, because we're blocking the exit."

She probably shouldn't say that so cheerfully. But then, she's expecting an upbeat visit, some light dragging out of bedrooms at worst, maybe some grim-ish silences as they recall the scene they had left behind. It's not her first time seeing him since Paris of course, but time has been hazy, loose, with both too much to do and not enough. She's carrying a pack of conbini onigiri, with a variety of fillings.

Jadeite has posed:
"Should I be concerned that the two of you are talking about me like a couple of hounds after a rabbit?" Tamaki asks dryly.

He's at his kitchen table with a defrosted burrito that's been picked at but not truly eaten. There's a couple of trash bags hanging around, but it's not the disaster they walked in on after The Head Incident; the strangest thing in the house is probably the tiny clay ponies decorating the table. There's a Jadeite, of course, and the Shitenou and Sailor Moon, and he's partway into rolling the navy blue clay into a Sailor Ponycury.

(She was right. They were fast enough that the panic has not set in yet.)

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"You should be so incredibly worried, we'll bite you so much," Mamoru says, carefully setting items down on counter- and table-space that isn't already occupied by clay. "Do you want your microwave burrito, or a hot dinner from school and some onigiri Usagi picked out just for you, and also ginger beer and my absolute favorite marzipan cookies?"

He moves his batch of stuff over to make room for Usagi's onigiri.

"Also, can I do your dishes or will you throw things at me if I try?" he asks, moving sink-wards and pausing. "We are here to lecture you on why you need to consider your life integral to my well-being, but I can do that and dishes and do both with my shirt off if it would help."

He's wearing a salmon-pink Babymetal t-shirt and cutoff shorts and sandals because it's fuckoff hot outside. But he's willing to wear less.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"I was not expecting you to be a horse guy," Usagi muses, taking in the tiny horses dotting the area. She ignores the comment about hounds and rabbits, mostly because it's not... inaccurate.

Mamoru shares the gist of it though, and she smiles brightly, setting the onigiri in a clear patch of table. She's wearing a pale blue dress with a white short-sleeved shirt underneath. "He's very cute with his shirt off," she adds helpfully.

Jadeite has posed:
"I'm not, usually, but I got some inspiration a couple days ago. I figured I should strike while the iron is hot, so everyone gets a ponysona. If you bite me, I'll make you another ponysona," and he sticks his tongue out at Mamoru.

It's fiiiine. Hinoiri was a very cute model and it's making good use of all this colored clay! He's got to thank Ami again when he sees her next time.

"You can do my dishes. I was going to get to them but I figured it'd be better to piroitize schoolwork." A pause. "I would not mind it if your shirt was off,,,,"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Without hesitating for a second, Mamoru takes his shirt off and drapes it over the back of a chair. He's managed to develop a tiny bit of a tan since the catacombs, presumably by spending a lot of time outside, but he's still got less of one than he should by August--

--but that's neither here nor there. He lets his hand brush across Usagi's on his way to the sink (hello!) and then turns on the water to fill up the basin. "It's definitely better to prioritize schoolwork, but it's also a good idea to stop prioritizing schoolwork when school's out for summer vacation," says the prince, not accusingly, just matter-of-factly.

"You need to actually eat something, you can do it while we talk. So-- you're aware that I'm kind of mad at you for taking a bullet for me, right? We need to talk this out."

He is so shirtless. He pushes up his glasses.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"When he says kind of mad," Usagi stage whispers, "He means definitely mad. Twice in one year, Tama-kun, that's a bad record to be setting."

She doesn't sound angry, but she also doesn't sound impressed, either. Her eyes had followed Mamoru as he stripped out of his shirt, but now they're focused on Tamaki, equal parts kind and stern.

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki blinks at the two of them, looking between Mamoru (and the curve of his back muscles, the line where tan meets where his shirt usually is, the way his pants hang off his hips) and Usagi (looking at him thin-lipped) and back to Mamoru.

"I knew you weren't happy that I died," he says cautiously, "but I didn't realize you were THIS unhappy." Oh god. If he had, he'd have said something. Done something. Done what? He doesn't know. But something!

He pulls over the dinner bento and starts to eat mechanically, barely tasting the food in his mouth as he keeps looking between them. "I'm sorry. I didn't - all I could think about was slowing the bullet down because it'd kill you if it hit you, and we couldn't afford to lose you so early in the fight with Beryl. I wasn't thinking about...the rest of it."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Funny, Mamoru doesn't sound angry either. He must have gotten the angry out already. Maybe he's come out the other side of it. It's been more than a couple of weeks and Mamoru hadn't brought it up again after the first series of 'never do that again's. Usagi's emphasizing the mad for him, and it's more effective than yelling, and he still feels awful for having snapped at Jadeite more than two thirds of a year ago.

There may be some flexing as Mamoru leans to pick up a stray mug and bring it to the pile in the sink. Not staged, just possibly slightly overemphasized.

"I would have had to go on with part of my heart and a limb missing, more or less, had Usako not managed a mass resurrection," he says conversationally, glancing back at Tamaki. "I would have had to tell your family, and I don't even have their contact information. You're not replaceable, Tamachan. You've never been replaceable. If you need a powerdrill of water moving at bullet speeds towards me, and you can move fast enough to get in its way, you can move fast enough to tackle me out of the way, and then we're both alive."

He starts moving dishes from where he's letting them soak to where he can scrub them. "So, part of that? Skill issue, tbh. We can do regular training again. But part of that is me realizing we need to work on your self-image, because you can't value yourself much if you think your dying to save me is acceptable."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"You saved Mamochan," Usagi adds, at the end of that, "At the cost of Tamakun. That's not okay, either. Sometimes things can't be helped, but we're concerned that maybe you don't understand that you're very important, and Mamochan has seen your brains twice this year. That's like, twice as many as anyone should ever have to see their beloved boyfriend's brain. You understand?"

It's a question at once easy and hard, underlying a simple truth: they had both watched Endymion die. They had both watched Hematite crumple.

Jadeite has posed:
He's glad Mamoru isn't angry at him. Tamaki isn't sure he could take that. He would take it, he would deal, but also - Mamoru isn't the only person in his life anymore, he has scratched and clawed hard to try and pry Mamoru from being the center of his universe, and it's - it's a work in progress but he's getting there, alright? He doesn't want to disappoint him, his friend, his liege, his pr -

He's getting better. He stopped himself before he thought the whole word this time.

"....I wasn't thinking," he says quietly, and he sets down the body of the Mercury-Horse to start rolling light blue clay, giving his hands something to do while he frets. "All I could think of was how much I didn't want to see Mamoru die again. I didn't think about - the other away around," he says, haltingly. "I want to train. But I think there's - I think. SOmething I need to fix. With me."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
It's a heartbeat's time and the water's not running and Mamoru's laying a wet and soapy hand on Tamaki's arm, letting him feel the love, the warmth, the forgiveness, and the stark fear that it might happen again. And at the end, the understanding.

"I get it," he says quietly. "I do. Zoisite hasn't forgiven me yet, for getting in front of him. I'm not sure anybody else has either, but I know Zoi hasn't. I forgive you, but I also don't want it to happen again."

The prince crouches, shirtless still, and with a soapy goddamn hand on Tamaki's arm, looks for his face. Ducks his head and turns it, so he's facing Tamaki but not moving Tamaki's head, not this time. This isn't like that.

"It's just, twice in a year, and the second time, it was too fast for me to even do anything about," he agrees with Usagi, glancing towards her, then back to Tamaki. "I'm going to counseling," he says. "For an awful lot of trauma and grief. It wouldn't hurt for you to think about it, too. I mean I have to lie a little about the sources, but you can phrase things so that they don't think you've got a different kind of problem than the ones we actually have."

There's a smile, and the contact stays: he's trying to lighten things a little, he's weighing whether to say something or show it-- and he decides to show it. He closes his eyes. "This," he says, flooding Tamaki with his own relief and a sense of a puzzle piece of his soul piecing together, feeling like he fit with someone, somewhere, finally, "is how you felt when I found you the first time, the first time we touched. I felt the exact same way. I understand not wanting to lose me for anything. But we have to work harder to make sure none of us loses any of us, and yeah. Part of that is fixing ourselves."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
As soon as Tamaki admits the truth - that he wasn't thinking, that he has something that needs fixing - Usagi relaxes just a little, rising. This conversation is not as much of an introduction to Jesus-san meeting as she'd been mentally prepared for, and that's a good thing. Mamoru has crossed the room before her, as is only good and right, and Usagi steps to Tamaki's other side, squeezes him in a hug that's gentle and affirming, she hopes.

"You might not have noticed, but like, zero percent of people walked out of Paris okay. Of course you have things to fix. Who doesn't?"

Who among them emerged from all that totally fine, unbothered, untouched? And on top of that, the rest of their lives, and their past lives.

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki breathes in, breathes out. Feels Mamoru's hand on his shoulder; feels the emotions that mirrored his own, once, when he was a boy and had felt out of place in the world until Mamoru was in his life and it clicked. And everything made sense.

"...I. Don't know where to start about counseling. I especially don't know how to lie about it to my parents, which I'll need to do sooner or later instead of just not talking to them. But. It sounds like you do."

He looks between the two of them, a breath shuddering out of him; Mamoru will feel his relief and his hesitatance, all at once - but he will step forward anyway.

"I don't know how to stop being like this," he says. "I want to be your knight and protect you. Knights don't...hurt their prince and princess, even if things get bad." Even if he backslides. Even if something goes wrong. "But I can try. I don't want to make you sad again, either."

He loves him. Mamoru can feel it in tamaki's veins. He loves him as a friend, he lvoes him as a boyfriend - and the old jealousies are being broken away to reach out to Usagi, to Ami, to everyone so that he isn't just The Prince's Knight but -

...Well, he doesn't know what he's going to be yet. But it'll happen, surely.