1885/Sharing a cola

Sharing a cola
Date of Scene:	24 August 2024
Location:	Dorms #1
Synopsis:	Gretchen is lured in by Hinoiri's promises of Soda and... well, soda. The two discuss what it is, exactly, that she's up to and they share a bit of their own perspectives about how things turned out. In the end, neither of them feels the other is... entirely detestable. They might even be, dare they say it... likeable.
Cast of Characters:	Hinoiri Kirara, Madoka Kaname

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Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara was standing on the the little balcony outside her dorm. Yes, her room had it, it was a weird school, a lot of the dorms were strange. What was the most strange was that while she had a bottle of cola in her hand... Resting on the edge of the balcondy besides her was what could only be called a six-pack of tiny colas, in little wax bottles. Would it work? Well...

Possibly. Hinoiri knew magic was weird and the charas were interesting. And it might lure something in. That and there was a little bit of music playing. Something that would likely drive away most charas. Utau's music. While it wasn't laced with dark energy, the effect it normally had, wellllll...

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    Gretchen actually doesn't visit the campus that often anymore. She used to come here all the time to visit Homura and play with the cat, or sometimes stay overnight. Nowadays she would almost rather not face her former roommate. She wouldn't want to hear what Homura would have to say to her. Several possibilities swim through her mind, but none of them are good.

    Still, once in a while the X-Witch can't help but think back to... maybe not good times, but better times. She can't help but wander in this direction once in a while, even if she doesn't plan on staying long.

    As she hears Utau's music, she gets a bit grumpy. Easter in general is not something that Gretchen is a fan of, and Utau is very much The Enemy in the dark fairy's mind. Curiosity draws her closer to Hinoiri's balcony, where she notices the alicorn girl herself. As her tiny eyes scan the setup, the X-Chara can't help but think that she's being summoned somehow.

    Gretchen floats closer to the balcony, crossing her arms as she looks down at Hinoiri. She isn't flaring out her dark aura that much right now, trying not to draw too much attention to herself all at once, but she still carries with her a vague sense of wrongness wherever she goes.

    "Didn't know you liked this kind of music," comments Gretchen, crossing her arms. Her mask is positioned to cover her left eye in a way that looks especially edgelord considering how small and cute she otherwise is. Like she's trying too hard to be scary. As if the dark energy she carries inside of her wasn't enough.

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara glanced over to Gretchen and gave a small smile. "Actually? I kind of like her music. She's a really good singer and one of the few people in Obsidian who both seemed to like me and didn't try to kill me when things went south."

She then reached down and... pulled up on of the six packs, holding it out to her. "Here. I was hoping you and I could talk. Don't worry, I don't have any purifiers or sparkle skirts waiting in the wings and no... well, okay, I *do* have tape, but it's in the knicknack drawer. No trapping, binding or capturing to be had."

"... Besides, I figure I owe you an apology considering what I did to you and I figured, well... okay, admittedly I'm kind of curious what you're up to. my sources tell me you've been up to some shenanigans, mischief and downright deviltry. And frankly I'd love to hear from you, directly, what you're intending."

"Because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that what someone with dark energy is trying to do, and what all the sparkles say they're going to do, rarely aligns."

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    Gretchen tilts her tiny head as Hinoiri describes her interactions with Utau. "Admittedly, I never got to know her personally. We only ran across each other a couple times, back when I was trying to avoid dark energy."

    The dark fairy looks down at one of the tiny six packs, and then back at Hinoiri. After some hesitation and the ex-villain's reassurances, Gretchen decides to float a little closer and grab the offered treat. She takes a drink from the tiny wax cola bottle and hears Hinoiri out before speaking.

    "Apology...? Funny, it seems so long ago that I was actually mad about that. Honestly, I don't think anyone could call me useless right now, and I doubt you'd be able to tape me up like you did that one time, with the way I am now." Another sip, as Gretchen considers how to respond.

    "They probably aren't that far off, honestly. I've given up on trying to get through to Madoka, and now my new sister-Chara are helping me create our own personal paradise. At first we just wanted to make our own little personal hideaway where no one can bother us. Then we wanted to make a perfect world to replace this one, but the more we thought about it the more dumb that sounded. We're still working to make our ideal world, but the details are being hammered out."

    As she finishes off the first wax soda bottle, she comments before fetching another one, "More importantly, we think that we can save those who have been turned into Witches, and that's what we're working on right now."

    Then she opens the next tiny soda bottle and starts to sip.

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara gave a small shrug. "You should meet her sometime. She's actually pretty sweet, once you get past the whole like... being her enemy thing. She's got an angel and a devil for a reason, after all. Not sure even she knows which one she is some days."

"Mmmm hm. Well, that's good. The fact you realize how poor the first decisions were is a clear sign that you're still you, at least." She swished the drink around in its bottle for a minute, considering what to say. However, Gretchen's words made her stop. "You... think you can save witches?" she asked, before glancing over. "How... technical minded are you? Because, admittedly... I... tried to work on something like that myself. I don't have the power to do it now, but... wait here." She put her bottle down on the guardrail of the balcony,turned and walked back into the dorm before pulling out one of the drawers in her dresser. "No... no... no... ah, here. Fungus, fruit, dogs, lichdom, okay, yeah, that one was a bad idea, chaos... ahhh, witches." She pulled out a small sleeve of papers before walking back out and holding it out to her.

"This... might help. My own research on witches. I... can't really do it anymore, but well... There's a guy at Obsidian, part of Riventon's division. He's doing research on witches as well, well. How to... save them from being witches. He's also Mami's boyfriend and well, if you know Mami? You'll know why that's important to him. I wouldn't suggest going into a dark room alone with him, but... he might be able to help."

For a few moments, however, she was silent. Picking up her soda and taking another drink of it. "Do... you think you can do it?"

She then glanced towards Gretchen and sighed. "... Do you think if you manage to do it, Madoka will finally understand?"

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    At the mention of Utau being sweet, Gretchen shrugs. "If you say so. I only really knew her brother, and while he's not that bad of a guy deep down he does act a little dense sometimes."

    When asked about how technical her mind is, Gretchen shrugs. "Rens is the techie, but I'm something of a specialist when it comes to Witches. Sayaka and I have a unique advantage in that field, plus... the kind of dream I am drives me to do the best that I can. Rens-chan and I have been doing a lot of work in this field." Shaking her head, she says, "I can't help but think that dark energy is clouding my judgment, letting me think that I'm always just on the edge of a breakthrough, standing at the threshold of greatness. That I only need to push just a little more in order to get what I want. Makes it a whole lot harder to see how close I am."

    "Still, even so... if I can't do it, I'm not sure there's anyone who can. Not unless someone like Saya-chan drops out of school and devotes the rest of her life to magiscience."

    Gretchen hovers over and peeks at the notes, then floats a little closer to scratch her chin. "You did this? ... and Mami's boyfriend is interested as well?"

    The warning about not being alone in a dark room with him causes her to frown. "Well, at least with Mami-san I don't have to worry about her taking care of herself."

    A tiny many-winged Familiar appears and starts carrying the notes, and Gretchen flips through them. "I think that I can. It depends on where you put the goalpost. The ideal scenario of turning a Witch back into a Puella Magi might actually just be impossible. Metaphysical law flies directly in the face of it. You can defy laws of physics, but laws of magic are a bit harder to get around. On the other hand, turning a Witch back into a normal human girl might be a bit more feasible, but the Fade will hit them like a train. Depending on how it works, they may be completely unable to ever become a magical girl ever again, but at least they'll have their life back."

    Glancing up to Hinoiri, she adds, "... and that's for the standard case. I have no idea what would happen with Sayaka-chan. We don't have enough data on that."

    As for whether or not Madoka will understand... Gretchen looks away and frowns. "... She'll have to. When she realizes what's actually possible, she'll have to see why it matters so much."

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara gave a small nod. "Met him a few times. Almost killed him because he apparently has a partial henshin and he decided to use it against Sunbreaker. Idiot. Very dense. But, well, Utau loves him so what can you do?" Hinoiri gave another shrug, drinking some of her soda.

"But... yeah. The dark energy does that. It clouds your judgement. Makes you miss the obvious. Makes you think everything is fine. That's... that's why rules are so important and why you need something to ground you. All it takes is one little slip up, one little mistake..." She stroked the geode around her neck. "One error and it all goes wrong. I... can't go Sunbreaker anymore, you know? If I try accessing it... if I try using it? I can feel it. It tries to make me... Sunset of Sora again. I can't even use light dark energy anymore."

However, the comment about Mami made her cock an eye. "I mean because he'd likely try to catch you in a bottle and experiment on you. He's utterly focused on magical things and... well. He cares a lot about Mami. He'd likely do just about anything to help her avoid ever becoming a witch. But if you're careful, he does have a lot of resources and information you could use and I'm sure you have plenty he could. If you're looking for someone who'd devote his life to magiscience, well... he's probably the only one on my actual level when it comes to that." Alas, she wasn't aware of any researching sparkles.

"... But... if you can do that? You'll be doing good work, Gretchen. And... I know you're probably getting a lot of... a lot of cruel and hurtful comments right now. But... I know what it's like. To be on the cusp of something. Of being the only one who can do something... and have everyone just doubt you. Especially the people who you want to notice you the most," Hinoiri muttered, looking down at her bottle. "... You'll need an iron will, Gretchen. To make sure the dark energy doesn't take you too far. It's... wicked like that. Like a poison, in so many ways. Just make sure your grounding, the thing holding you from going over that edge? Is stable. When... I lost mine? I didn't think I'd ever come back from it."

"... But... I also know what it's like... to see someone... to see a witch being made. when I saw what happened to Sayaka, I would have done anything to save her. I even... I even tried to make a wish to kyubey, can you believe it? How dense was I do try that?" She then polished off the rest of her soda.

"Little rodent said my 'karmic potential' wasn't enough to do that, though. I hate that bastard. And just... remember. Even if you fail a few times, it's not really a failure until you give up. Until then? Failure is just another lesson in how not to do it."

"... If you ever need to talk to someone, though, who's not going to go all 'ohhhh, dark energy evil and must be stopped no matter what', you know where my room is. I know sometimes we all need just... someone to listen for once and not tell us how 'bad' we are for not doing things their way."

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    Gretchen blinks as Hinoiri clarifies her stance on Takashi. "Oh. That's what you mean. Someone else warned me about something like that. It's one of the reasons why I wont go near Easter, or Obsidian in general. A couple of them seem to find my sisters and I cute and have even helped us out here and there, but... our safety isn't really guaranteed when dealing with people like that."

    Crossing her arms and sticking her nose in the air, the dark fairy says, "I mean obviously in a fight, I'd win for sure. It'd be a waste of energy though, and a setback keeping away from my real goal. I can't bother with such distractions."

    She looks down at the research again before popping open another tiny bottle and chugging it down. "Still... maybe I'll ask Mami about him. His input might be worth something. As long as he has a vested interest, I suppose it's not impossible to at least compare notes."

    Gretchen frowns thoughtfully. Obviously, the dark fairy wouldn't be the first to ask this question. Obviously there were other people who cared, even if Amy seemed to think otherwise.

    "Madoka-chan used to be my grounding. Now... I don't know. I'm not sure that I can help but be what I am, or do what I do. Still, even aside from her, there are those whose feelings matter to me. People I don't want to let down too much."

    With a tch, Gretchen adds, "Kyubey, however, is not one of them. He's a jerk and there's not enough hate in the world to give that guy what he deserves."

    The X-Witch floats a little bit higher, matching Hinoiri's eye level. "Honestly... most of what I get is people telling me to go back to Doka. Some people actually seem interested in where this goes. That said, even if they say it out loud, the subtext is always there. As long as I'm using dark energy, they aren't going to fully trust me." She looks down at the geode hanging around Hinoiri's neck. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't need darkness at all, but... thanks. Thanks for the offer."

    After a pause, she asks, "Do you have any unresolved feelings about your time as Sunbreaker? Regrets, or things you wish you had done differently?"

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara stared down at the bottle, lightly swirling it in her hand. "Madoka loves you," Hinoiri finally said. "But sometimes... sometimes we have to do things, even others don't like. And... it hurts when the people we love, who... who are supposed to love us back, don't appreciate it. But... I guess loving someone doesn't mean you approve of everything they do."

"... And it sucks when the only way we can do what we need to do is by disappointing those people. But that just means we need to be sure it's worth it."

"... But you're right. Dark energy corrupts your viewpoint. It's why... it's why it can be so hard. Even if you're right, you need to make sure you're right and ensure that you're not just being twisted into thinking you're right. It's exhausting."

"As for Sunbreaker? I wish... If I could go back and do it all over again... do it differently? I guess... The one thing I wish I'd done differently..."

She leaned against the railing, the bottle dangling precariously from her hands. "I wish... I'd known what I was doing it for was impossible. That no matter how much I learned, how much I achieved, how hard I worked... that Sora would never love me. That I was just... another body to her. I wish I'd realized she hadn't banished me because I'd lost her love, that she banished me... because I had gotten too twisted and there was no love for me to lose from the beginning. I wish... I wish when I'd gone the route of Sunbreaker... I'd done it for me. I'd done it for what I wanted, not what I thought I was supposed to want."

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    The X-Chara's lips curl tightly into a lopsided frown. "No, it really doesn't."

    Gretchen's eyes drift towards Homura's dorm for a moment. Madoka, as she is right now, could survive having her heart broken; but a Puella Magi? Maybe if she just didn't go see her, if Homura never saw Gretchen like this... it'd still be okay.

    "Even a non-corrupted human being would suffer from mental biases. Fortunately we have means to verify the truth no matter what our darkness would have us think. That's kinda why Rens is so valuable to us. She knows how to do the sciency stuff."

    The words regarding Sunbreaker get Gretchen feeling a bit melancholy in a slightly different way than usual. Hearing that Hinoiri was doing all of that in futility, and that none of it mattered in the end. All because she wanted something that couldn't ever be true.

    "Maybe if you had done that, you'd at least be walking away from it happier. I'd like to think that if I fail, I wont feel too bad about it. Not nearly as bad as I would if I had never tried. Maybe the day will come when I regret ditching Madoka-chan the way we did, but... it can't be helped. Regardless of her intentions, we need things that she wasn't giving us. Couldn't give us, no matter how much we tried. If I regret anything at all, it's that I waited as long as I did."

    Clasping her hands behind her back, holding her tiny wax bottle, she says, "In a strange way... I'm actually starting to feel happy, or at the very least satisfied. Maybe it's because I'm following my own true nature and doing what I want to do."

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara gave a small nod. "Mmmm hm. Bias is a bitch, and so am I. Isn't that the saying?" she asked before sighing. "It's good, though. Math doesn't lie. It's always true, always right. It can't lie. Won't lie. Doesn't lie."

She closed her eyes. "It's not that surprising. Of course you waited. We.... always wait. We always just... stand there. Hoping this time they'll hear us. This time they'll listen. This time they'll... this time they'll see things our way. But it never happens, does it? It's always us who are at fault, but nobody willing to see why we feel we have to do this..."

"... Madoka's good. Really. Kind heart, all of that. But... sometimes... being good isn't enough. Sometimes you need to go further, push harder. Sometimes you have to make people angry..."

".... You know, when I was Sunbreaker? a lot of girls offered to help me. They said if I gave up my ways, they'd help me find a better way. Since then? Nobody... has been able to. But that's probably as much my fault as any of theirs. I don't even know what I want, other than to not be helpless while this war of magic goes on around me."

"... And like it or not... you are Madoka's dream in the end, aren't you? So it's only natural that at least taking this path will make you satisfied. If Madoka wants things to go back to the way they were, she'll need to learn to accept it... and... frankly? In the end? There's nothing you can do to make her do that. Unfair as it is, that means it's up to you to change the parameters of how things go."

"In this case... It means doing things she won't approve of to make things right. I do hope you succeed, Gretchen. From one dabbler of dark energy to another. Because... frankly? Dark energy sucks and we all deserve to be able to look back and be proud of at least one thing we did."

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    Gretchen is pretty sure she's never heard that saying before, but she doesn't point that out to Hinoiri. She does nod along when talks about math doesn't lie. "As long as you do it right, you'll get a right answer. It's nice to have at least one thing in life that's so reliable."

    Gretchen shakes her head, saying, "I really just wanted it all to work out, you know? I wanted to have a happy family with all of Doka's other Chara, go on adventures and have fun like the rest of them, but I was always the odd one out. The one who was never fully understood. Even if she did her best to take care of me, feed me, keep me safe... it doesn't matter if she can't at least believe in the dream that bore me."

    The X-Witch tries to consider a version of Madoka who made people angry. She kinda smirks a little bit. "You always managed to bring that out of her, in ways that no one else could. Maybe she could stand to be more confrontational, but none of her Chara are like that so it's clearly not a priority for her."

    Looking out towards the cityscape far beyond the campus, Gretchen says, "If I could offer you power, I might, but I don't think what I have could ever help you at all. Maybe you just need a little more time to find something that works for you. I can understand not wanting to be sidelined, though. Madoka felt that way too, up until the point Brai and I came into her life."

    The tiny fairy shrugs, saying, "If she can't accept it, if she never does, then I'll just have to get used to enduring this kind of existence. Still, it's getting easier on that front lately. At least this way I can feel like I'm working towards something that matters." With a tight frown, she adds, "I'm going to laugh bitterly if it turns out that saving a Witch is easier than changing Madoka's mind."

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara couldn't help but smile and nod. "Yeah, people let you down. But math and study... once you figure out the right answer... they don't. They're... always there for you." She placed her bottle on the railing and glanced over.

"... For what it's worth? I get it. I've... always been the odd one out. Back home? I was the girl who was found in the woods. No noble upbringing, nothing special. Just someone who, despite all logic, was Sora's student. Then I came here and... I'm the girl who was a bad guy. To Obsidian, the girl who they kicked out and burned the bridges to. To the sparkles? The girl who... hurt them. Some of them... forgave me. But I can still... feel it. A lot. Just... the one on the sidelines. Not really the girl who belongs anywhere."

"... And most people don't... get that. Sometimes, just being 'nice' isn't enough. Saying it's okay to exist isn't the same as actually accepting someone."

Hinoiri did at least chuckle and couldn't help grinning down at the chara. "What can I say? I have a knack for bringing out the best, and worst, in people. And sometimes a person just... needs to be angry. They need to be able to go 'Buck it' and light it all on fire. Not literally but... yeah. Between you and me?"

"... If Madoka got mad at you, if she actually yelled, and screamed at you? Would it feel better? Because... I sometimes... felt that way when I made Sora mad. Like... at least if she was mad at me she was finally paying attention and considering me... eh. That sounds silly, doesn't it?"

"I'm working on it, though. Power, I mean. Not stealing it this time, but... well. I'm not the kind of girl who gets 'chosen' by magical things. My dreams... don't release the magic. I think I just need a little more and I can awaken... something. This time, without dark energy. I appreciate the sentiment, if you find anything that's like... magical but NOT dark energy? Send it my way. It could help."

"... And for what it's worth? The fact you DO still exist... I think that means that Madoka hasn't entirely abandoned the dream you embody. I don't know if she wants to be the person your dream embodies. But... the dream you embody might be the one she *needs* to follow. Maybe that's why there's only one of you, and a dozen dreams of being kind, soft, non-confrontational. Because it's the only way to balance out the strength of the dream you represent. So don't give up, lil dream. Madoka probably needs you a lot more than either of you realize. Or maybe I'm just sentimental and find you good company."

Madoka Kaname has posed:
    Gretchen watches Hinoiri as she hears her out, considers her words and notices herself slipping into a contemplative mood. The corner of her mouth twitches as a few of Hinoiri's points hit a little close to home. "I felt her get angry the other day. I could feel her wishing that I was there so that she could smite someone. She got mad over something that someone said about me, because she took it as a threat even though I'm not sure it was meant as one. I know I'm really lucky, in that way, but... she was paving a road to hell with all her good intentions."

    Not that Gretchen has much room to talk.

    Shaking her head, she says, "I don't think that it would help much if Madoka got mad at me. What does help... is moments when her mindset aligns a little bit better with mine and it starts to feel, for at least one second, that she understands me." After a pause, she says, "Maybe that's why I always wanted to henshin with her. She could at least get a glimpse of what she actually wants to be, even if she doesn't know it yet."

    Gretchen glances towards the geode, the stone that once burned her to touch it. It'd probably burn her again if she tried, especially as she is right now. Then she glances up to Hinoiri and shrugs. "Who knows? You can see me and hear me, so you haven't faded. Maybe there's a reason you're still here, and still aware."

    Hinoiri finds her good company? Gretchen considers how she feels about that. "I mean, I feel the same, but... that's not really a thing I'm used to hearing you say. I guess you really are different now. It's good, though. It's a good change. Maybe when you do find your answer, your magic, you'll be able to pursue a life that makes you happy."

    Canting her head to the side and putting her hands behind her back, Gretchen glances off to the side. "Thanks for the encouragement. I know you get a lot of shade cast on you, but it wasn't all bad. Hopefully this time will one day be something we can all look back at with nostalgia."

    Looking out across the balcony and towards the outside world, Gretchen says, "I should probably go... Rens and Tia are waiting on me, and I don't want to leave them all by themselves."

Hinoiri Kirara has posed:
Hinoiri Kirara could understand that. She wondered... if Sora had ever gotten mad on her behalf. Wanting to protect her. Even save her.

Doubtful. But she hoped.

"I hear that a lot. I hope you're right. And... good luck. Just know there's some of these colas in the fridge if you ever need to talk to someone. Not a lot of people I can talk to who... get it. Turns out, a lot of dark energy users? Kiiiind of jerks. The ones who want to do it for actually good reasons aren't very plentiful. But they're important. Say hi to Rens and Tia for me." She didn't really know who they were, but well...

Why not? It cost her nothing to at least be polite. She hoped, at least, the dream got something good out of this. She took her bottle and headed inside, tossing it in the recycle bin.