2352/Rules

Rules
Date of Scene:	22 February 2025
Location:	Mamoru's Apartment
Synopsis:	CW: Profanity, maidenless behavior. Mamoru lays out the rules for existing as one of his Shitennou, and then things devolve into a feral clowder of twinks until Mamoru tells them to knock it off. You know. Shitennou time.
Cast of Characters:	Mamoru Chiba, Zoisite, Kazuo Saitou, Jadeite, 280
Tinyplot:	The Demise of Bow-chan

---

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
It's early evening, and the brightest stars and the moon are visible through the two windows to the west that have been left uncovered. The rest of the curtains help the tapestries on the walls make the vast space less echoing, warmer and softer and smaller, and the heavy furniture is a bunch of solid, familiar shapes in the darkened living room to one side of the table. The slanted light from the kitchen with the mosaic floor is dim and warm but doesn't flicker. The same is true for the area lamp in the wide corner closer to the stained glass entrance from the hall.

Mamoru's leaning back against the wall to one side of the kitchen 'door', arms crossed. "I wanted," he says once everyone's seated, his voice regretful, tired, not mad just disapponted, et cetera, "to just be Mamoru, but I can't do that and also say princes do what they want, so I'm also going to have to be Endymion and make our rules explicit."

He comes over and puts his hands on the edge of the table, elbows locked as he leans forward, closer to the four of them. "And, of course, whether or not you heed them is up to you, but we live in a society. That society includes a bunch of friends you helped kill in a past life and they can kick your asses, and I won't stop them if you deserve it."

Then the prince straightens up and takes off his glasses, rubbing at his eyes for a moment. He puts them, folded up, on the table. He says calmly with only one emphasis, "Rule one: don't attack the Sailor Senshi, for fucksake. We did that before. We don't want to remind them."

"Related," he says quietly, making eye contact with each of them, "if you start to feel like you're being treated unfairly for things you did in a past life, think of the things you've done in this one. I know I do. If that doesn't settle your temper, talk to me about it." A beat. "Any questions so far? I've got seven more rules. If no one's taking notes I'll be happy to write them down." Happy, he says.

Zoisite has posed:
Time set. They would finally get this out of the way, and he'd been waiting for a week for this meeting to happen. After the meeting, then he'd be able to focus on other things on his agenda--such as the 'purification' he'd need to ask from the Moon Princess, followed by an apolog--

Coughs.

An apol--

Clears throat.

Replacing Minako's bow. There. Not that he assumed such an event would be of any use, he had his suspicions that the bow was possibly a special one, similar to the ribbon he used to keep his hair together. But those were assumptions he'd chew on later as he was now in Mamoru's apartment and taking one of the back seats on the designated table. Phone out, dimmed and silenced, with the explicit purpose of taking notes to later send out an email to everyone once it's properly reviewed by Mamoru. Why?

Paper trail, and it's easier to have a copy for review via phone. As a refresher. He's not being a cynical ass, just salty right now. He's hiding it well behind a neutral expression so others can't see. Sleep does wonders in recovering the body and mind.

Once the meeting begins, his thumbs are gliding over the screen, writing down everything he hears so far, while also sharing eye contact with the prince as to not seem like he's ignoring anything--and he wasn't. Don't fucking attack the senshi. Got it. Talk to Mamoru. Got it.

"No questions." Izou nods.

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
Kazuo's claimed the other farther seat, so anyone looking away from Mamoru has an unfortunately high chance of looking at him. He's leaned back with that deceptively casual look, a large pad of unlined paper on the table in front of him. As Izou's taking detailed notes on his phone, Kazuo makes calmly precise lines on the paper with a Sharpie in parallel. The knifeblade-precise calligraphy reads:

    NO STABBING ALLIES


That's probably his version of 'No questions.'

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki, meanwhile, has his eyes on Mamoru and his hands on a small bucket full of play-doh that Kazuo handed to him on the way in. Having something to do with his hands is helpful, because that means his mind can focus on Mamoru and the very important rules being laid down.

Ooh. Someone's in trou~ bule~

Tamaki is trying to keep a poker face, because HE did not attack a senshi, HE has made friends with them! He has been nicies! People enjoy his company! He is getting an A in being a reformed villain, which is normal to desire and possible to obtain! But it would be tacky to look happy about it, like he liked (apparantly) Minako getting flambed for being weird and flirty. So he is being here so neutral, so polite, so good, messing around with his clay.

"No questions either. Proceed when you're ready!"

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
The last to join the group - late, by Japanese standards, early by Californian ones - is Nephrite, who had burst in just before Mamoru began speaking with boisterous energy not one, not two, but three six packs of a very nice Japanese beer. Between the five of them, they probably won't even get buzzed, but like hell are they getting through this day stone-cold sober.

He does not say, What's up, bitches! but it is conveyed, through his boisterous energy, as he bustles past, puts the beers in the fridge - he's not some animal, drinking luke-warm beer -

And then registers the mood of the room, which is very 'someone's in trooooouble' and also 'you've been called for a private meeting', and grimaces exaggeratedly.

He's down in a chair, sprawling and pretending at nonchalance, secretly observing his colleagues, when their prince starts, and -

"Haha, which one of you losers fucked up?"

It is not the best thing to say, at a very serious meeting. On the other hand, it is honest.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Gentlemen," says the prince, closing his eyes at Nephrite. Mamoru does not sit down yet. He eyes Zoisite, and Tamaki, and then his glance flickers over to Kazuo's sharpie calligraphy and he raises his eyebrows but does not say a single word about it. Instead, he LEANS CLOSER TO NEPH, and he says,

"GENTLEMEN."

He waits until Nephrite settles down. "All right. Rule three is, if you're having a crisis, or you're starting to feel messy, please talk to me about it." Endymion, no glasses, just serious-- he's earnest but firm, caring and concerned but absolutely ironclad. Then gentler, "Rule four: If you have identity problems, like too much knight and not enough high-schooler, talk to me and/or Kazuo, and we'll work on it."

These are mostly things that Mamoru thinks, maybe, he should have addressed much earlier. He takes a breath and lets it out. "Rule five: Don't keep secrets from me, that's part of how we fucked up last time AND this time; I'm looking at Midnight Tokyo, Neph. If you feel like you shouldn't talk to me about something, TALK TO ME ABOUT IT."

Then Mamoru looks wry, but the expression, brief as it is, falls away. "Rule six has all our names on it: don't tank anything I can't heal. Jadeite and I are the worst offenders, mostly. So: three to go."

"Rule seven: Don't tell me what to do. You can advise, ask, offer; you can even tell me what you need or want me to do-- but do not tell me what to do. Not unless you want me to flip you off or, situationally, get mad. You're not the boss of me." A breath. "Rule eight, which I promise you need to follow, is Anko Has Been Fed. If you're in doubt, ask me or Kazuo. If she eats too much or gets too mad, she has previously grown to roughly the size of a house and I'd like to avoid that."

"Finally, rule nine: if Chibiusa is over, be quiet after 9pm."

Zoisite has posed:
Izou looked considerably annoyed when Nephrite busted in, but ignored him in favor of Mamoru for the moment. Any more attention to this specific companion would possibly lead to a ribbing he wasn't in the mood for--even if he feels the curls on the nape of his neck itch slightly at the question of which of them fucked up.

Apparently two so far, but that wasn't his business right now.

Rule three down, rule four as well, rule five followed as he glanced over to Nephrite and Mamoru. Oh good, some of the bollocking went to someone else now. Good. Moving on. Rule six, rule seven, rule eight--dear gods--and finally rule nine were noted down word per word.

Now he was just focused on formatting the email, as long as nothing else pops up during the meeting.

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki considers. He doesn't think he's been having any crisises lately, and Mamoru usually grabs him before Tamaki realizes he's gotten messy. He doesn't think he has identity problems either: after all, he's a knight who was reborn as a farmer, and it is his duty to act as a knight now. He's still working on waht he's doing when he's not a knight, but he's got that well in hand.

He has been doing a minimum of talking ot his family, too, leaving it to a letter every couple months, but his parents seem satisfied by that, and he doesn't think his cousins on this side of the ocean care that much anyway, so. he's good! He's good!

"I'm trying not to tank it," and Tamaki gives Mamoru a thumbs up as he rolls a snake of clay with his other hand. "Do we still not tell you what tod o when you've turned into Hematite? No preventative prince actions, let you do whatever?" He is trying to be extremely clear on this subject, seeing as it's happened at least once before!

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
    TELL MAMORU THE THINGS

    YES, ESPECIALLY THOSE

    DON'T DIE

    WE ARE NOT THE BOSS OF MAMORU

    ANKO HAS BEEN FED

    RESPECT THE SLEEP

Kazuo caps the Sharpie without a word and lays it down. No threats to superglue the paper to anyone's forehead are made. Yet.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"I don't think any of us are very gentle, man," Nephrite cracks, and of course, things are a reasonable amount of serious, but they're not that -

GENTLEMAN -

"Oh fuck," he jumps, and then, looks at Mamoru's face, and repeats, much quieter, "Oh, fuck."

Mamoru is being very serious. This is not fun joke around Endymion (not that he'd really thought that) or stick up his ass Endymion (which he had mildly considered). No, this is I am your prince and you fuckers will listen to me or you will know hell (Kunzite reorganizing your training schedule), Endymion.

Nephrite sits up a little straighter, after that, and pays attention to the rules, more.

They're common sense, reasonable, probably a number of things they could have - should have - talked about before this, but that they never had. They'd never really had to, the letter of the law not pushed too far, and now someone's pressed the issue.

And Nephrite isn't actually wondering which one of these losers fucked up. Jadeite - Tamaki - is too dedicated to the good boy routine, Kazuo is too dedicated to self-control, and the only thing Nephrite's fumbled lately is every single attempt at trying to talk to Makoto, so therefore it's obviously Zoisite's fault.

Figures.

"Yeah, I can admit that one was pretty fucked of me," Nephrite admits as Midnight Tokyo is brought up, and he only says it easily because it will make him look emotionally mature and put together, unlike the two younger unnamed disasters in the room with them. "I'm listening and learning."

What, he's still at least kind of an ass. They wouldn't recognize him, if he wasn't.

Zoisite's quiet, which only makes it more obvious that he's the one who attacked a Senshi, Jadeite's asking questions that have obvious answers -

"So are we just not addressing the elephant in the room then? We're just putting the thing down without a word?" One eyebrow is skeptically raised.

Zoisite has posed:
Mamoru gets a notification of an email sent with high importance.

From: Izou Saitou on behalf of Mamoru Chiba

To: Mamoru Chiba

Subject Line: Review ***UPDATED RULES: MANDATORY READING***

Log February 22nd, 2025. 7:35 PM.

In light of some unforeseen situations, we will be revisiting and making our rules explicit. And, of course, whether or not you heed them is up to you, but we live in a society. If someone wants your ass, I won't stop them if you deserve it.

    Rule 1: Don't attack the Sailor Senshi, for "fuck" sake. We did that before. We don't want to remind them."
        Related: If you start to feel like you're being treated unfairly for things you did in a past life, think of the things you've done in this one. I know I do. If that doesn't settle your temper, talk to me about it.

    Rule 2: ????????????

    Rule 3: If you're having a crisis, or you're starting to feel messy, please talk to me about it.

    Rule 4: If you have identity problems, like too much knight and not enough high-schooler, talk to me and/or Kazuo, and we'll work on it.

    Rule 5: Don't keep secrets from me, that's part of how we fucked up last time and this time (fuck you too Neph). If you feel like you shouldn't talk to me about something, TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

    Rule 6: Don't tank anything I can't heal.

    Rule 7: Don't tell me what to do. You can advise, ask, offer; you can even tell me what you need or want me to do-- but do not tell me what to do. Not unless you want me to flip you off or, situationally, get mad. You're not the boss of me.

    Rule 8: Anko Has Been Fed. If you're in doubt, ask me or Kazuo. If she eats too much or gets too mad, she has previously grown to roughly the size of a house and I'd like to avoid that.

    Rule 9: If Chibiusa is over, be quiet after 9pm.

Thank you for your attention and cooperation,
Mamoru Chiba.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Mamoru watches Zoisite for a second, while he's thumbing furiously on his phone, and his eyebrows are up again. And he looks at Kazuo's list and just... "Yes, that's it exactly." -.-;

He looks at Tamaki, then at Neph, and he holds up a finger at Neph, just a second. "Tamachan, you especially don't tell Hematite what to do. Here's you sitting here asking about whether you can let princes do what they want," laughs Mamoru, but it's not a happy laughing laugh, it's a 'really? Tamaki, really? laugh.

"You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to give my daughter a flying ride while I could still fly. You know how long I was steeped in dark energy. You know I'm not gonna lose it from just being Hematite again, right? I can count on three fingers the number of times I lost control of myself, and I was really worked up."

Mamoru pauses, then slow-turns to blink at Nephrite while his phone bings in his pocket. He is having a meeting with them, he is not going to check his notifications.

"Buddy. Friend. Heart of my heart," the prince says to him, finally dropping himself into a chair. "You guys had meetings without me because you wanted to make sure I didn't know what you were up to. It was a little more than fucked. And look, man, I know it was in Obsidian, but my feelings are still hurt about being left out, nevermind the rest of the problems with keeping information from me."

He drags his hands down his face, unable to sit like a normal human being in his chair. He's kind of sideways in it with one foot up on the seat. "If you want to address the elephant in the room, you're perfectly welcome to start a fight, but I'm having one of your beers first."

He starts hauling himself back up, then pauses, halfway between sitting and standing, and stares at Neph. "Did I tell you about the daughter yet."

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
... this is the point at which Kazuo moves his pad out of the way and lets his face slowwwwly slide down into his hands.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
Mamoru's phone buzzes, and Nephrite gives it a glance - but since he ignores it, Nephrite too ignores it. Clearly their prince has decided it can wait.

And besides - it is good to see that Tamaki's in trouble too, if only a little bit, even if he's starting to get a little - just a little - ticked off about getting Obsidian thrown into his face a year later when someone attacked a Senshi and they're not even getting into it.

Seems a bit rude, to him.

However, the specter of the past hangs heavy over them, invoked by the setting and the rules themselves, and he grinds his teeth and breathes in through his nose, and doesn't pitch a fit about not knowing what the fuck is going on.

"Did you say the words 'I have a daughter now'? No. Did you show me your camera roll of pictures three times? Yes. Also, the soundproofing doesn't work when you have windows open."

And then he sits back, and crosses his arms, never mind that it makes him look pouty, and points out, "I wasn't the only one who had secret meetings."

And look, yes, he feels sorry about hurting Mamoru's feelings, had been vaguely aware while full of Dark Energy and up his own ass that it would bug the fuck out of Hematite if he ever found out, but Zoisite and Jadeite are just as guilty! Why's he the only one catching flak?

(Probably because he's the only one speaking up.)

But fuck it, if asking questions is picking a fight, he might as well die in ignorance.

"Want to bring me a beer, too?"

Jadeite has posed:
"I know you won't lose control again. But I'd lost control again, with the darkness, and I - panicked," Tamaki says with a grimace. "We'd just had someone fire full throttle on your kid and I decided to fire back in full about it. I thought you might do the same, since- well."

Since. Tamaki knows what he does on dark energy. And he doesn't think Mamoru would do something messed up on PURPOSE, but with Chibiusa on the line -

Besdies! He's not even teh one who messed up this time!!

"Is there anything else I need to get lectured on?" he asks, lips prssed together thin.

Zoisite has posed:
With the email out of the way and awaiting the review that would likely be either bounced back to him or done by Mamoru himself, there was nothing else for him to work on that would keep his mind busy from the conversation at hand. So locking the screen, he turns his gaze over towards the prince, Nephrite and Jadeite, watching the as the discussion bloomed out rather quickly into defensiveness.

He wasn't expecting the Obsidian meetings to pop back up again, the least of his worries due to how long it's been. Yet it was there now and obviously something their prince wanted to discuss. Liking it or not, he was going to sit through it.

But first, he'd satisfy Nephrite obvious curiosity. It'd be better for the man to know from him than anyone else by now, since secrets were indeed making things worse.

"The elephant in the room is that I set Minako's bow on fire. I have also been henshin'd every day for a while, only having stopped this week after Mamoru and Kazuo called me out. I am to schedule myself for a purification and then apologize for burnt lace." Izou crossed his arms over the table, green eyes focused on Nephrite. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Hhhhh," Mamoru says to Neph, grimacing, and he finishes getting up the rest of the way. He points at Tamaki. "Yes. Your crocs are ugly." And then he pads into the kitchen and calls back to Jadeite, "But no seriously, I know you're trying, you just literally need to remember not to give me orders. Like, an order's maybe falling out of your mouth, and you catch it with a napkin before it gets to my ears."

And then he comes out with one of the six packs and his fridge churchkey, and also a ginger beer, and he puts them all on the table and sets a beer in front of Neph, then goes about opening his own.

Silently.

Zoisite's talking.

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
"This is also known as, exhaustion and stress are not the best way to keep in peak condition," Kazuo says, lifting his head again. "Izou isn't the only one who's tried that route. If you're feeling like you're not able to do enough, that's one of the 'talk to Mamoru' problems. We can find other ways to deal with it. I think you've all seen the solution he came up with to my being twitchy - and all of us have bedrooms with that much space to spare if you need it."

... to section out an entire new room using more than half of Kazuo's original bedroom space, monitoring security cameras all over the building on over a dozen screens. And painted black so that Kazuo can lurk in the dark and spook people. Of course.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
Honestly, Nephrite was starting to think he wouldn't get an answer, and the answer he actually gets is...

"You set Venus on fire."

This is not actually a question, and Nephrite is stopped short for a moment, on actually getting an answer. He's not close with Venus at all, of course, but -

"Venus with the fuck-off sword? And the chain she can use as a fucking garrote? That Venus? What the fuck for?"

His eyes are asking 'are you stupid?', though his mouth has enough self-control to not do it.

"Yeah, yeah, exhaustion and stress," he waves a hand at Kazuo, and there is a spark of concern in his eyes, that Zoisite had been going around in henshin for days and days, wearing himself out, but, it still doesn't explain going for Venus - or going for the accessories, first.

"Congrats on surviving. Does Tsukino-san know?"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"She was there," Mamoru says flatly. "She put it out. With hot chocolate."

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"Is she who you need to schedule purification from? Dude, you're fucked."

Jadeite has posed:
"You're so fucked," Tamaki says, a little more gleeful than he means to.

He's not going to take a beer, he is trying to be a responsble boy, and just. Sits up a little more. He can't match Kazuo's skills i the impressing Mamoru deaprtment, but at least he's managed to rise above Tweedlenephrite and Tweedlezoi.

HE has been resting, and trying to be good, and not stabbed anyone with an icicle. So there.

He crosses his legs, pointing his croc at Mamoru, and nods. "Understood. I'll keep the orders in my mouth. Venus is alright other than her bow getting crispy fried?"

Zoisite has posed:
"Yes, it will be with her." Again, a neutral face. Compartmentalize. One anger fueling another wouldn't do well, and he appreciated Kazuo cutting in for a second. At least he had things to work on and theories to test.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"Alright, if that's how it is," Nephrite sighs, grabs his beer, and after a second to pop the tab, drains a quarter of the can. "Oh so gracious prince, would you enlighten this poor bastard as to why our relations with the Senshi are in danger? What was worth setting Venus on fire for?"

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
"It was not an intentional on fire," Kazuo says to Nephrite. "Venus said and did a handful of things that were ... unwittingly less than tactful. I'm going to try to track her down tomorrow and do the next round of apologizing for overreaction." As if the overreaction were not entirely on Zoisite's part. Even if Mamoru hasn't been hassling Kazuo. (Though possibly the Sharpie calligraphy was a way of accepting hassling in advance. Who knows?)

Zoisite has posed:
Izou turns his head to look at Kazuo this time and his neutral expression softens some, nodding quietly at the expanation given. He... didn't like the prospect of there being a second meeting between Kazuo and Mina, but this was not his place to say anything anymore.

Jadeite has posed:
"Do you want a plus one? She was fairly chill when I asked her to stop hitting on me, so I can be a neutral party?" Tamaki offer.s

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"So it was an accident... from her not being tactful... and Zoisite has already did a first round of apologizing?"

His eyebrows rise.

And then Tamaki adds in details -

"Did she hit on you? Also, there's not a chance any of us is a neutral party, dude."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"You're such an ass," Mamoru says, bumping amiably into Neph's shoulder as he goes to get another ginger beer out of the fridge, which he puts in front of Tamaki along with the bottle opener. The other's still there on the table. Then Mamoru picks up his beer, finally, and drinks... maybe a fifth of the can. He gets a judicious look on his face, then gets the kombucha girl face, and he sits back down.

"You're one of the Shitennou, Tamachan, you don't get to be a neutral party," he says sorrowfully. "At any rate-- there are also rules for me, and I encourage you to suggest more. One is don't tank anything the Silver Crystal needs to fix, and two is don't ever voluntarily pick up dark energy again."

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
"She hit on me," Kazuo says mildly, "while also making a joke that she didn't realize would irritate both of us. I think I can manage without a plus one. We've already had at least one unsupervised conversation that actually went well. Pastries help, as usual."

And then he falls quiet. Probably mostly because someone had to set rule two for Mamoru...

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Mamoru glances at Kazuo, then leans in toward them in his chair and tells Nephrite and Zoisite, "Kazuo punched Tamaki in the face, by the way."

Zoisite has posed:
"Ah. Good for him." Izou states without a hint of mockery, just a lifting of his perfectly shaped eyebrows at the news.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"Of course I'm an ass," Nephrite agrees automatically, and then grimaces. Honestly he's a little bit envious that all of his colleagues are getting hit on by a Senshi, even if it's absolutely not the Senshi he would want to be hit on by.

He'd absolutely deck the lot of them if Makoto was flirting with them, though. The bonds of brotherhood only go so far. He will follow his prince on that one.

"Okay, just being honest, is this a 'I don't want to be hot on' thing, or a 'I'm mad I haven't tapped that first' thing, or - Mamoru, what the fuck, you should have lead with that!"

Jadeite has posed:
"In Kazuo's defense, him punching me was like me asking Mamoru to not go nuts on dark energy. A reflex based on past experiences rather than a planned act of irritation," Tamaki says primly. "And none of us have gotten hit on by Jupiter, so you can stop worrying now, Nephrite."

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
"Also, in case you didn't notice, I did Tamaki's chores for a couple of weeks. Apologies have been made." A beat, before Kazuo adds, "Turns out one of the Black Moon people can afflict people with dark energy. Reflexes were not doing well at the time. So that was my getting purified by Usagi."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Hee hee hee," says Mamoru into his beer, grinning, as he slouches down comfortably and watches. "We should-- we should just hang out, more, too. I think that would help. If we spent more time in groups."

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"Of course apologies have been made," he nods, okay, willing to accept that. "Alright. And - yeah, I think us hanging out is a good thing, keeping up, figuring out where we're going... apparently figuring out who's into who," and he looks at Zoisite, then Kazuo, then Tamaki, then Mamoru.

He does not say, fuck man, I need to make a move, but he thinks it. Loudly. With his face.

Zoisite has posed:
Izou wasn't hiding it, as his human shell or as Zoisite, but he wouldn't describe it as him being into someone. It was a little more than that. But again, not discussed nor confirmed. "If it's just the five of us, I think that would be good." Makes it a point to not look at Nephrite this time, reach for a bottle of beer.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
white_guy_blinking.gif

And then Mamoru's just staring at Nephrite.

And then Mamoru smirks. "What, you want in?"

Zoisite has posed:
Izou Saitou says, "Don't encourage him. He has a terrible track record as it is." Pops the beer open and takes a drink."

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"On you? Not in a million years."

Nephrite pointedly looks Mamoru up and down, then does a thumb down. Then he looks Zoisite up and down, and does a thumbs down. Kazuo and Tamaki get the same deal.

"Look, I think we all know who's got my - oh fuck you man, at least I'm not so thirsty I'm setting the competition on fire."

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
"... Gentlemen."

It didn't work for Mamoru. It's not going to work on Mamoru. But the token effort is made.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
And no no no oh Mamoru spittakes and goes running laughing to the kitchen, dripping.

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki will just. Steal Mamoru's beer and sip. Indirect kiss. Checkmate.

Zoisite has posed:
"Oh so is your sweetheart open to be flirted with?" Smirks. "I'm sure you'll behave yourself so well when that happens in front of you, so blatantly."

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"She went on a double-date with our fucking prince," Nephrite says, "And our prince's buddy. And I didn't set him on fire, so yeah, sorry man, that's a fucking you problem."

Zoisite has posed:
"Our prince doesn't count, you fool." Izou lifts his eyebrow, looking at Nephrite like he's incredibly stupid and should know this by now.

Jadeite has posed:
"Look, Venus can be annoying and all, but the person I like has been triple dating multiple other people and I have been nothing but polite to everyone involved. This is a skill issue," Tamaki says, and takes another ginger sip of Mamoru's beer. Why did people like this stuff,,,,

Zoisite has posed:
Points at Tamaki without looking at him. "Shut it. The adults are talking."

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"The date wasn't with the prince," Nephrite looks at Izou like he's the one who's an idiot. "Have you met his Princess? There's no way Makoto went on a date with him, the two of them were just there with her and the guy she went on a fucking date with - are you seriously planning to drink his whole beer instead of just kissing him?"

Zoisite has posed:
"No no no no, finish your sentence!" Turns his whole body around to glare at Nephrite, green gaze alight. "Makoto was with who? Who was she dating, idiot boar?"

Jadeite has posed:
"Look. He's had a busy few months because he's been proving it takes a real man to be a mother, I barely survived Christmas, you two have been busy sticking your thumbs up your asses while I've been trying to do my job. I can drink his beer if I want. I'll get him another when he comes back in," and he takes another slow, smug sip of Mamoru's beer and bravely does not make a face about the taste.

"Now, who's trying to steal your girl, Neph?"

Look. He will be polite if others are being polite. But now it is On.

Zoisite has posed:
Zoisite now stood up slowly, hands neatly pressed against the table as he leans across the table to look at Jadeite. "Nephrite asked why won't you kiss him instead, or are you too chicken shit to even do that?"

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
The problem with dealing with his fellows is that inevitably they team up against him. What else is a pair of twinks to do?

Still, his eye twitches when they both completely miss the point. God, he's going to have to say it out loud. "No one's trying to steal my girl, because she's not my girl. She's her own woman, and until I've proven myself to her, and she decides I get a claim, I don't get to be pissed if she's going on a date. Just like you don't get to set the people who kicked our asses and also killed us in righteous vengeance, on fire, for flirting with your chosen one or whatever."

Jadeite has posed:
"He has been busy. Being a single mother. Do you want me to kiss him when he gets back?" Tamaki shoots back.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
"Oh, so are you going to tell Tsukino-san she's failing in her motherly duties? What, you think dads can't fuck?" Where is the single mother coming from? Is their trouble in paradise? Did he miss trouble in paradise? Paradise is the only thing that's going to keep them all alive!

"Mamoru! You can't break up with your princess, we'll lose our amnesty!"

Jadeite has posed:
"It's a meme, Nephrite, calm down. Usagi's doing a great job being a mom too, she just has to take breaks to beat every freak in Tokyo trying to steal her kid. We know dads can fuck, Chibiusa's right there," Tamaki points out. "If nothing else, this is going to make them closer because now Usagi KNOWS they're going to have kids and a honeymoon and a white picket fence."

Zoisite has posed:
"You think I don't know that?! I'm very aware that those I love are not mine, never will be, but that doesn't mean I have to like what I see as if none of you ever lost your self control once in your miserable lives!" His voice raised as he turned to confront Nephrite's prior comments, but is quickly realizing he's spoken too much and just calmly sits back down, picks up his beer and drinks half of it in one go.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"ALL RIGHT ENOUGH!!" rings out a very Chibiusa-is-oobviously-not-visiting loud voice.

Endymion clanks over, aggrieved, and draws his sword, and KLANGs it down flat against the table. It's his sword.

It's his sword. The one that, oh, if they saw what she did--

"You fucking assholes," he says, and his voice is tight and wavery, but trying to be calm. "There are more important things that keep us together than the things keeping you apart, the things you're slicing each other with, just like we're back there again, with you all fucking trying to curry my favor when you all already had it, too? Why are you fighting??"

Zoisite has posed:
Fuck it, drinks the rest after the prince asks his question. The others can speak right now, he obviously needed to think.

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki reluctantly raises his hand. "I thought we were doing it for fun? Zoisite says something mean and then Nephrite says something mean and then Kazuo deflates one of them and we all prod each other? Is that...not what we're doing?"

he thought they were bonding,,,,

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
Kazuo reaches quietly across the table, as Izou sets the empty down, and lays his hand over Izou's more delicate one. Without - very carefully without - letting any part of his skin touch the blade.

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
One minute, they're sniping at each other - and it's not real anger, or, well, it is, but it's the anger of sparks, not supernovas, the anger that dies quickly, not the sort that ends existence. It's needling for the sake of needling.

And then Zoisite - Izou - is admitting something pretty fucking vulnerable, actually, and Endymion's had enough, and there's a fucking sword on the table, one that Nephrite knows all too well, and Zoisite's downing the rest of the beer way too damn fast but fuck it, might as well join in, right?

He drinks the beer.

He savors the taste, the notes of chocolate and smoke, the bitter hops, robust and deep. He considers reaching across the table and risking a punch from Tamaki for trying to finish off Mamoru's, only to decide against it.

"It's, possible," he says, slowly, in a more serious voice than most of this meeting has been honored with, "That picking on each other is not the smartest way to bond, when we honestly haven't been... spending time with each other. I may have gone too far... and I'm sorry about it."

A beat.

"That said, and I get that this is big talk coming from me, of all people, but you can have the people you love, if you talk to them, and don't fumble it like I did."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
As soon as Nephrite says something that proves he gets it, Endymion drops his henshin and his sword fades into a watered-steel reflection of nothing.

Mamoru's face is a little high in color, and he says softly, fingertips touching the table, "And I overreacted, and I'm sorry about that. But it's just-- Zoi's not in great shape right now. And Tamaki, do not speak for me until further notice. And it's just-- right now? We don't have anyone else. We're alone. As a group, we're alone, because you guys haven't mingled enough. Nobody knows who you are, or they only know you as bad guys. You have to stop acting like bad guys."

He puts a hand over his heart and bows his head. "This is maidenless behavior."

Then what Neph said last registers, and Mamoru looks sharply at Zoisite, but this can be an out if he doesn't want an audience.

Jadeite has posed:
Tamaki melts a little. When did he speak for Mamoru?? He must have done it, obviously, but -

Ugh. Clearly this stupid drink is NOT helping. He'd tried to establish that he wasnt making big moves on Mamoru because Mamoru was budgeting most of his time for Usagi and Chibiusa, because they both needed his attention and support, and then teased them both about their love lives and - ugh. This is stupid.

"Mamoru, I'm sorry I spoke for you and I will try not to do it again. Can I ask for a kiss or do I need to be quiet right now?"

Zoisite has posed:
There's heat on his face, and not the flattering kind. The type a child has when holding back too much of everything and attempting to maintain control and think over things too fast while the brain had other ideas. Like introducing the slight sting behind his eyes. At least he had enough self control to hold that back.

And it took him a minute to register the weight on his hand, vision having narrowed again but thankfully he was not henshin'd. He was just human now. And nothing was on fire or objects exploding nearby. Just him noting that Kazuo touched his hand, and he discreetly turned his hand over, just to hold it back softly.

Deep breath. Then he sat more straight on the chair and looked over to Mamoru. The sharp look was a sign he knew well enough. But if he left, he'd be leaving the touch behind, along with Nephrite's words that did ring true. They also haven't been spending time together, as they used to.

Zoisite nods to Mamoru, 'I'll be fine.'

NPC Nephrite (280) has posed:
So, Nephrite is reasonably sure that Mamoru is not, in fact, intending to call him a total loser who can't convince the girl he's in love with that he does in fact love her, because he's fumbled the bag utterly by developing feelings for a different girl who, ultimately, he's come to realize he didn't properly love.

(Never minding that he can't, totally, properly, love Makoto, because despite desperately wanting to, he doesn't know her, and doesn't know how to separate what he knew of Jupiter then with what he knows of Jupiter now.)

Mostly because that seems like a particularly low blow considering that Mamoru was just mad at that for picking at scabs.

So maidenless behavior must have a meaning besides 'bitchless', but fuck if he knows what it is.

What he does know is that Mamoru is very right about one thing, and it's their relative isolation. Nephrite certainly hasn't done himself any favors, lurking in his apartment, going to school and blending into the background as best as a man with his stunningly good looks and fantastic hair can, brooding like Batman with hair the 80s wishes they could have back.

...the point is, he's right.

"Is there... I don't know, a remedial school for not acting like a bad guy? I'm not joking this time."

Tamaki's asking for a kiss, but the look on his face suggests he doesn't know what he did wrong, and Nephrite is decent with people but also he's an ass who hasn't been paying enough attention to the dynamics - he can't dissect it for him. He can't even guess if the man will get a kiss after all.

Fucking bummer, that. He really does have to do better.

Kazuo Saitou has posed:
Hands held, there across the table, in front of Nephrite and everybody. "Well," Kazuo says to Nephrite, deadpan. "There is this manga that was getting passed around."

Which Mamoru might possibly beat him over the head with for saying that.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Mamoru looks at Tamaki in something like... affectionate frustration?

He reaches over and touches Tamaki's hand and says, "No you definitely don't get a kiss, but you're fine, it's fine, we'll talk about it later when there's no beer, okay? That didn't help anyone, and you didn't even have-- any..."

He looks at the table. He sees his beer. In front of Tamaki.

"You come into my house," he sighs, shaking his head.

Tamaki does not get a kiss, but he gets the reassurance that Mamoru isn't mad at him, through the warm golden touch of Mamoru's empathy. Then his hand slides away.

He looks from Nephrite to Kazuo, then laughs. "Prince of High School. I'll ask Koji if I can borrow it again. There are forty volumes. It got me in trouble, but it got me in trouble warmly. But-- I'll ask around, otherwise. And I'll ask Usako to help, too. It's just.. it's just needing to be social."

"Like, just start by being kind."