1045/The Unflinching Truth

The Unflinching Truth
Date of Scene:	26 January 2024
Location:	Radiant Heart Academy
Synopsis:	Following scenes 1031 and 1032, Usagi Tsukino and Kyouka Inai catch up on the nature of Firefly, the hero's burden, and the existence (and lack thereof) of the villain's burden. CW: Discussion of past suicide.
Cast of Characters:	Usagi Tsukino, Kyouka Inai

---

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= you've ruined me
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= not really but a girl strangled me yesterday and i told her it was bullshit and that is definitely your fault
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= not the strangling. that was her own bullshit.
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= it was firefly, the one who killed those girls
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= I can't believe I'm more mad at a 10 year old than Sunbreaker but jeez!!!!!!!!

Kyouka Inai has posed:
Kyouka txt to Usagi: if something is bullshit you should tell them its bullshit. nobody benefits from beating around the bush
Kyouka txt to Usagi: that crazy girl strangled you? are you ok?
Kyouka txt to Usagi: Sunbreaker hasnt killed anybody that im aware of. so youre not crazy

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= yeah mamochan got her with a rose and she dropped me
    Usagi TXT to Kyouka= want to meet up for taiyaki? I'll tell you all about it.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
Kyouka txt to Usagi: Yeah sure. gimme like 20 minutes

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Around twenty minutes later, Usagi Tsukino is standing at the taiyaki stand, bundled up in her purple jacket and a neon pink scarf, hideous green skirt and black leggings completing the ensemble. The skin under her eyes is dark with exhaustion, and she's got a Naru-sized cup of coffee in hand. When she catches sight of Kyouka, she waves.

"Hey, Inai-sensei!"

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka walks up shortly thereafter. She makes little concession to the cold, dressed as ever in red and black with her leather jacket, although those things are warmer than you might expect. "Hey kid. You look terrible." She greets Usagi cheerfully.

    "The taiyaki's on me. A reward for obviously listening to me and putting it into practice." She says with a grin.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"An evil merman is sending me nightmares," Usagi says with a sigh, rubbing her gloved hands together for warmth. The offer to pay sees a smile come back to her face.

"That'd be great! And of course I listened - it's hard not to when you keep being right about things."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka looks so smug at that line about 'you keep being right about things' that probably half the people she knows would want to punch her, but at the moment at least it's somewhat justified. Even she isn't so narcissistic that she doesn't add, "Well, thanks I mean, yeah... but you know I don't know everything. I won't always be right, probably." She just had to add the qualifier. "But it's gratifying to hear you say that, anyway."

    She purchases a taiyaki for herself and whatever Usagi wants, before adding, "Evil merman, huh? That's a new one."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Usagi shrugs off her teacher's humble add-on - "You're right about all of this magical stuff a lot of the time. And I feel sorry for her, but also it was bullshit!"

The merman thing - which she brought up - is dismissed with a shrug. "I think he's Yellow Pearl Voice's Beryl. It's totally completely fine, I'm just going to ignore him until he gives up. He's going to give up." Usagi hopes, anyway. "Sucks for him, I have nightmares all the time! Even if it wasn't all the time before... anyway, that girl who killed those two is named Firefly. Mamochan knows her from obsidian and she's Riventon's apprentice or something. I thought she was just trying to frame me before, but I really think she doesn't remember what she did."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka heaves a bit of a sigh. "It's just that I've been wrong enough times that I figured some stuff out, and I can pass that on to you without you having to experience all the 'being wrong' part. At least not as much."

    She makes a noncommittal noise at the mention of "Yellow Pearl Voice's Beryl". "So why is he giving you nightmares, then?"

    She takes a bite of her Taiyaki, tearing its poor little fishy head off, before she replies, "It did sort of seem like she went out of control that time. That's a dangerous sort to keep on your roster.. though I guess Obsidian cares less about that sort of thing."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"He sent some girl to the school and she froze some people and like, wanted me to team up with her or something? I told her her boss was a creep and messed up her magic book I guess, so now he wants me to give him Yellow-chan, like that's going to happen." Huff!!! "I've kinda been trying to ignore it. We just solved a crisis! We're having winter break! I had to kill a dog!"

A couple of people look at them oddly at this and Usagi quiets, eating half her taiyaki in a single titanic bite. When she continues, she says - "It was weird. Last time, she just snapped, remember? This time, she got really pissy with me first because -"

And her face falls and her expression softens and she does look like she feels bad. "Because she's dying and she's sick and she thinks what Obsidian is going to do is worth it, I guess. And I was kinda mean to her about it, because - because she really is younger than me and it's awful that she's dying but, Beryl murdered Endymion and I killed myself and you don't see me draining everyone's energy about it!"

So much for keeping her voice lowered. "Everyone has so much awful stuff that happened to them but why does that have to be innocent people's fault?!"

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    To Kyouka's credit, she doesn't pursue the 'had to kill a dog' line of conversation. She's pretty sure Usagi is talking about a youma, and if she isn't she doesn't want to know anyway. "I guess the downside of being a famous space princess is you get all kinds of weirdos trying to get you to pay attention to them." She says, with a faint sigh. "If this evil merman gives you any more trouble don't hesitate to ask for help. Although I know jack about mer-people, truth be told."

    She falls silent as Usagi brings up exactly why Firefly got so angry with her. After a moment (and another bite of Taiyaki) she says "People who are hurting handle it in different ways. Some people keep it inside and try to keep other people from noticing. Some people seek help and support from friends to try to deal with it. And some people decide that if they're hurting, other people deserve to be hurting too. Because they feel like they themselves are a good person, and its not fair if this hurt happens to them but not to other people they think are less good than them. So in their minds, it seems 'right' to inflict hurt on the 'less good' people, because it makes the world a little fairer in their eyes."

    She chews the last of her Taiyaki, and shrugs her shoulders in resignation. "They're wrong, of course. The world doesn't care if you're good or bad. Sometimes good people get hurt. But that doesn't give them, or anyone, the right to turn around and hurt other people in turn. Nobody has that right. I will feel bad for this girl that she is dying. If Obsidian can help her, great. If that's really true. But that has nothing to do with anybody else. If the only way for you to live is by hurting others, you should probably just die."

    That's a mean thing to say. But she believes it from her soul.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Usagi is, frankly, glad not to have the worst of her rant followed up on - she doesn't want to declare which dogs are precious wonderful creatures and which ones have to be killed (it's the maneating three headed ones, though). "I shouldn't even be famous, it was aaaaages ago."

This is mumbled into her taiyaki, which at this point is just a tail - the rest of it has been devoured greedily, the custard filling leaving a few marks on her chin. She'll get those later.

As Inai-sensei tells her about people's reactions to pain, to hurting, she frowns in disagreement, thinking about it - because the world should be fair and it should be kind and people should get what they deserve, but who would give it to them? And wouldn't it be kind of awful, to know that everything bad that happened to you was because you deserved it? Because it was punishment for being wrong? Would that really help any, at all?

Wouldn't it just be miserable.

And she winces, when told that those people should probably die - because it is mean, and because she doesn't know if it's true. If people have no option but to hurt others to live - should they really have to die? Would she want to die? Either way...

"I don't know if I'd want to just die, if I had to drain people to live... but I don't think Firefly does. That's what was so frustrating - there she is, saying that Riventon is so kind and defending Obsidian, and they're turning toys into monsters to drain people! And Riventon is going on saying we'll just accuse him of any evil thing, when he's actually doing evil things! And sparkleskirt is sexist, because he definitely is thinking about girls when he says it, because he called Mamochan a dudeskirt which is different!"

Whoops that rant went a little off-target there.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "I never said anybody should want to die." Kyouka says, with a weary resignation in her voice that speaks of a long acquaintance with the large gap that exists between what we want and what's best for us. "Just that if you have to pick between what's good for one person, or what's good for a whole lot of people.. you should pick what's good for a whole lot of people."

    "I'm not saying it's never okay to be selfish- but when you being selfish is hurting people, I don't think that's okay. Deciding not to share your parfait at the mall? I'll forgive that one."

    She idly licks a bit of taiyaki filling from a finger as Usagi explains her frustration. "That Firefly girl is powerful. There's no denying that. I wouldn't put it past Obsidian as an organization to trick her into believing she needs them to live, in order to make her use that power for them. It's entirely possible she's being lied to... but I don't have any proof of that."

    Storm-grey eyes consider Usagi. "But you should trust your instincts. Nobody deserves to be lied to, especially about something like that."

    She adds, with a sudden scowl, "I hate the term 'sparkleskirt'. I don't even own any skirts."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"...I guess it feels worse, if they don't even want to," Usagi says quietly. "When I - when Serenity wanted to die, it was... I mean, she did, and it sounds like it didn't help anything at all, and I don't... but. I get what you mean, I guess. If you have to decide every day that you want to live, even if it means hurting people - you're being selfish. And I'm selfish all the time, but because of that, I know sometimes you get trouble for it. I can't get mad at my teachers when I read manga instead of my textbooks and then fail my quizzes - I mean, I get mad we have quizzes, they're dumb, but I can't get mad that I failed! So why do they get to get mad at us, that there's consequences for their actions, huh?!"

A slow, hissed out sound of frustration at the thought, and she grimaces. "I don't know if they're lying. Mamochan says that device is important for Firefly, and Obsidian gave it to her, and it does seem to suppress her Dark Energy, but - I mean, why does she have Dark Energy, then? It's so bad for her that she needs a whole device to suppress it, but they don't want to just try and purify her? What sense does that make?"

It's so suspicious. It's completely suspicious.

"I have a skirt, and it doesn't sparkle!"

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Serenity wanting to die was a selfish decision," Kyouka says, though her tone is gentle. "But it didn't hurt anyone else. I'm not in favor of suicide.. that's kinda a weird stance, I would assume most people aren't. But it's not the same, because you're not killing other people, and that's the big difference. At least to me."

    "People get mad at consequences for the same reason they lash out in the first place- they think the world isn't fair to them. And it's not.. the thing they don't realize is it's not fair to anybody. Life sucks. Deal with it." She gives a little grin, just a touch melancholy. "People who do bad things and expect to get away with it are under the delusion that they have, or should have, some kind of special entitlement. But it just doesn't work that way. I mean, Serenity was a Princess, and look how it ended up for her." A shrug. "And if she had such crap luck and was, by everything I've been told, only guilty of falling in love, why the hell should someone doing actual harm be allowed to escape reaping what they sow?"

    She mmns idly in thought at the question of Firefly's Device. "I'm not an expert on Dark Energy. But unless you're a youma, I'm pretty sure nobody needs it to live. So theoretically purifying her wouldn't kill her."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
There's a flinch. She can't hide it. There's a shame and guilt in her, that carried over with the new memories. There's regret, and wonder, and a part of her that wonders how much the other Senshi blame her, for what happened. Still, Kyouka clarifying that she's not in favor of suicide manages to draw out a little laugh. "Yeah, I'd - I'd figure you're not in favor of it. It's a lot like... giving up."

At least it had been for her.

"Everyone's special, but no one... no one gets a perfect life. And everyone has to deal with the consequences. And - it's not like I don't feel bad for Firefly, but.... we already covered that. Exactly. It's like... how's it supposed to be fair that regular people have to deal with this?"

A little sigh of relief -

"I'm going to try it again, next time I see her. Because I don't wnat her to die, but I don't want her to kill anyone else, either."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka sees the flinch, and might even feel a little bit bad about it. But she's never been the sort to mince words... the knife-edged truth. Sincerity. She says what she thinks, it's part of her nature, one of her virtues. It doesn't always go well, sometimes it hurts people she'd rather not hurt, but it's better than pleasant lies. At least that's how she thinks.

    They're still standing out on the cold sidwalk, so after a moment, she gestures for them to start walking. "Did you have somewhere to be after this? Can I give you a ride?" She asks, as she does so.

    Regardless of Usagi's reply, she continues, "You shouldn't feel bad about what you did in a past-life- that is you, but it's also not you. You can do better this time. Not that many people get a chance like that, so make the most of it, alright?" She gives a small grin. "I think you're off to a good start."

    "I don't think you should give up on Firefly. In a very practical sense, she's obviously powerful. If she's really being manipulated and you can show her that, she'd make a powerful ally. On a personal level..." She makes a face. "A kid being lied to and forced to do bad shit for an evil corporation doesn't sit right with the rebel anarchist in me. Nobody deserves that, but especially not a kid."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"I was just getting back from breakfast with Mamochan; we went to a cafe after - ahaha... breakfast at Pluto-san's house," Usagi says sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head, grateful for the distraction from harsher truths. "I was just going to go back to the dorms, or something. After all of that, I don't really... I kind of miss school? I've never missed school during a break. It's weird. But at least when I'm in school I've got like... places to be."

Having all this free time, which she can't use for sleep, and she can't bring herself to sit and focus on manga or games, and she's anxious about going out as Sailor Moon just yet -

"I'm going to do better. That's what I want to do - me, as Usagi, but also me, as Serenity. We have a second chance, and that's why I'm not giving up on Firefly, I'm just - I'm tired. We just sorted out things with Mamochan's dumb friends-who-are-boys-but-not-his-boyfriends and finished off the Midnight Tokyo Project I think except actually there are probably still youma in the power grid and I don't know how to get youma out of the power grid, and now there's Firefly too!"

That was a very, very long sentence, and she's out of breath by the end, pressing her hands to her face.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I think she's - probably deep down - a good kid, and people are lying to her, or maybe she just think she's special and different, or something, I don't know. I just know that... I get this feeling that whatever is going to happen, I'm going to be in the middle of it, and it would be really great if I could be in the middle of something where the main person don't hate me, you know? People like me! I'm likeable!"

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "You've probably never attended a school like RHA before, either." Kyouka points out with some amusement in her tone. The taiyaki cart is just outside the school grounds on the street, so Usagi is spared the prospect of riding on Kyouka's motorcycle. This time, at least.

    She nods her head in sympathy as Usagi says she wants to do better, but it's just A Lot. "Believe me, I know the feeling." She says, with genuine sympathy. "Sometimes it seems like the world won't leave you alone. It would be nice if it could solve its own problems every once in a while but.." A heaved sigh. "The hero's burden, right? It's always something."

    She grins a little bit at the last bit of Usagi's diatribe. "You are, kid. Or have you forgotten about your teammates, your friends, your boyfriend, his friends.. you're in the middle of a lot, but not everybody hates you. Less people than don't, by my reckoning. Like I said.. you're doing a good job. Better than I ever did. A few more years and you'll be showing me up, I'm sure. Funny that notion doesn't upset me like it once might have."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Well, the classes here are normal," is the grumbling agreement, because - who in the world has ever attended a school like Radiant Heart Academy, huh? It's surely and truly one of a kind in Tokyo, if not the world. Alas, Usagi will be missing a ride on a motorcycle - but honestly that might be wise. Is there anyone associated with RHA who believes in safe driving?

"Yeah, I mean - it could - nope, not gonna complete that thought!! But at least I've got the hero's burden, instead of the villain's. Imagine all these things happening - and you know it's your fault?"

Of course, that only applies if you actually care about the harm you're doing to other people, but Usagi - well, she's always been the sort who did care about that. Why else would she like being liked, and care about being likeable?

"I haven't forgotten! Really! I guess... I guess that was a silly thing to say, huh?" She's smiling at least, a little one, and she laughs - "I'm not doing it better. I'm doing it with a lot more help than you had - all those teammates, friends, boyfriend, and boyfriend friends, like you said. Plus, I've got you. If I'm doing better, it's cause I have all this help."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "The fact that you think the 'villain's burden' is even a thing is a very clear example of why you're not one." Kyouka says, with an affectionate chuckle. She resists the urge to ruffle the girl's hair.

    "You're right, you do have more help. But at the end of the day that's just an excuse. You're doing good because you're good at this. You will continue to get better at it." She smiles. "You'd do well without help. With it, I think you'll do exceptionally. I think the fact that that pleases me is part of this whole 'teacher's pride' thing I always hear about."

    "Besides," she winks, "I didn't say you were doing better yet. Just that you will be, given time." She turns to head back to where her bike is parked, lifting her hand to wave. "See you around, Usagi-chan. Keep me informed if you learn anything new."