567/Philosophical Questions

Philosophical Questions
Date of Scene:	03 October 2023
Location:	Administrative Office
Synopsis:	Following scene 545 (in which Sailor Moon rescued Sunbreaker from the Outer Senshi after getting thoroughly burned), Usagi Tsukino seeks Kyouka Inai for advice.
Cast of Characters:	Usagi Tsukino, Kyouka Inai

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Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Usagi Tsukino is not attending class today, which means when she walks into Kyouka Inai's office, not wearing her school uniform, but instead a soft cotton blouse and sweatpants, bandages peeking out around her shoulders, make up applied to her throat, bangs trimmed even shorter and missing a full six inches of hair from the bottom -

Well, the not-so-much-a-counselor can probably guess she's had a bad time.

She flops herself down into the chair in Kyouka's office and stares up at the ceiling.

"So I picked a fight yesterday."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    It's probably fortunate that Kyouka isn't seeing some other student when Usagi shows up at her office, because that might lead to all sorts of awkward questions, but as it so happens she is not.

    When she lays eyes upon Usagi, Kyouka's brows crease at once. She doesn't say anything- Usagi is walking in under her own power and so is clearly not in any severe danger- but when the girl flops down and opens with that line, she replies, "I can see that." Her tone is amused, but tinged with genuine concern.

    She comes around her desk to lean on the front of it, arms crossed. "Was it worth it?"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"A little. Kind of. On accident."

That was not helpful, Usagi. Even she knows that. She breathes in, trying a little harder to give an explanation. "I found a youma Sunbreaker made, causing some trouble, so I beat it, and after she - told me she'd let me run away, and I just got. Mad. Really mad."

She would honestly feel worse about some of the things she'd said, if she didn't mean them, and if Sunbreaker hadn't deserved them. She hasn't forgiven her for any of it - and of course, forgiveness just makes her think of Pluto, which makes her scowl, which - "It was worth it because if I had walked away, the Outer Senshi would have killed her."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka listens to this tale in silence, letting Usagi speak, her expression thoughtful. She doesn't interrupt until Usagi finishes speaking, at which point she says, "Getting mad that someone was endangering people, and fighting her to stop it, is justified in my opinion. Did Sunbreaker beat you up that badly?" She gestures to the bandages and other signs of abuse. She sounds skeptical- Sunbreaker is powerful, for sure, but so is Sailor Moon, and she wouldn't expect Usagi to come out of such a fight so poorly.

    Perhaps that last statement is a clue, but one she will need more info to understand. "The.. Outer Senshi? Who are they, and why would they have killed her?"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"She did," Usagi says, and grimaces. "She kind of - I pushed her really hard. Pissed her off a lot. She was big mad."

Big mad is an understatement.

"I - maybe I could have did better, but I wasn't ready for her to just go all out like that. It was one hit after the other, and fire is - haha, fire is really hot, sensei." Inane, maybe, but she shivers as she says it, remembering the overwhelming pressure of fire and the awareness that her fuku was all that stood between her and burning to a crisp.

She swallows. "The Outer Senshi are the rest of my... team. I guess. There are supposed to be nine of us, and me, and four others, we're the "Inner" Senshi. And the other four are the "Outer Senshi". No one's really... told me what that means yet. But it's Pluto and Neptune and... I didn't get the other one's name, actually. But they were hunting for Sunbreaker. Pluto said... Pluto said she was an animal who should be put down. Because she's been... hurting people. Badly."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka frowns a little bit. "She does seem the sort to lose her temper that way, yes. I'm sure you could have done better.. and I don't say that to put you down or anything, Usagi-chan. I say it because I believe it to be true. But the only way you can learn to do better is through experiences like this.. that teach you what you might have to face."

    She heaves a little sigh. "I remember going through it myself.. not exactly the same, of course, but the same idea. You get into a fight and it turns out to be way more intense and scary than you thought fights could be, or at least that you'd ever encounter. But just telling someone to expect that fights can get that rough can never really communicate the truth of it. You've been through it now- you got hurt. Next time, you'll be better prepared."

    She gives a little smile. "I'm sorry you got hurt, though. Genuinely, I don't like to see my students, my friends, injured. But in this line of work... it happens. Make it worth it by learning from it, so next time someone goes all-out, you will be ready."

    She then considers this information out the 'Outer Senshi'. She frowns when she hears what Pluto said about Sunbreaker. "I'm not going to make excuses for Sunbreaker. She is causing trouble, and she does need to be stopped. But as far as I know, she hasn't actually killed anybody. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think it might be difficult to call ourselves the 'good guys' if we're the ones who start killing people first." She pauses. "Then what happened?"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"She is. She does. She gets really mad, because she's like - she's insecure, I think, and I was... I was really mean. She deserved it! She's been awful to a lot of people, but I was... maybe a little... hit with some dark energy? And I think I took it out on her." She grimaces, hand going reflexively to her throat. Where she rubs at it, make up rubs too, revealing patches of bruising.

"I got cocky. I kinda get what you mean, about dark energy making you more... arrogant and stuff, because I definitely walked into getting my butt kicked and - she hates me. She really, really hates me. So it being me who said those things... probably she kicked my butt worse."

And she had been terrified. Frozen, at the speed of the attacks, at the fierce strength of them, at the terror of burning alive -

"I'll get better. And next time I'll know not to let her string a combo together."

Because there would be a next time, she wasn't stupid, she knew that, no matter what the Outer Senshi said, and - "I know! She's causing trouble, and we have to stop her, and apparently she put one girl in the hospital, and she told another one she put a death curse on her but it was just a lie to make her scared, and she kidnapped Naru-chan, and - and none of us died. She didn't actually kill anyone, that's what I said! No one's even - no one's been hurt so bad they won't recover. She... she's making mistakes, but she can still come back from them. She was crying, Inai-sensei, and she hates me, and she'll never help me and that's okay, because she shouldn't die for any of it! She was on the ground crying and they were just going to kill her! She couldn't even fight back anymore!"

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka has a grim expression on her face, but it's far from disapproval or anger. She is witnessing Usagi coming to terms with hard truths that she has had to face in the past, and she is aware its not easy. Not easy to see them, not easy to process them and internalize them. But it's necessary, at least in her opinion. Innocence is to be protected where possible, but if you are the one doing the protecting, chances are you'll need to sacrifice your own.

    "There are hateful people in this world who will hate you because you stop them from getting their way, or because they are jealous of you, or because you're different from them. But hate doesn't make you strong- it makes you weak. Because it blinds you to other possibilities. Sunbreaker is going to get what's coming to her, if she hasn't already. But there's a difference between justice and tyranny."

    "I don't know if Sunbreaker can come back, if she'll ever realize the error of her ways and turn over a new leaf. Maybe she will, I've seen stranger things happen. And if you're fighting for your life, if its a battle and you're in a life-or-death struggle, and you kill the person attacking you because they left you no choice, that's unfortunate but sometimes it's them or you, and in those cases it should always be them. Don't ever hesitate to defend yourself. But it's never, ever correct to kill someone who has surrendered, who isn't fighting back."

    "That's not honorable, and it's not justice. It's a cowardly act. I don't care what she might have done, even if she had killed people in the past. You take her prisoner, you find a way to restrain her or remove her magic, you remove the threat. But you don't kill a defeated enemy."

    She sounds very passionate about this, as if perhaps it's an argument she's had before, or maybe just that she's seen the reality of what that sort of philosophy can make of a person. "If these 'Outers' were really considering finishing her off after she was beaten, then I'm not sure we can really count them as friends. You stopped them, I guess, or else this would be a different conversation."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
None of this has been easy. None of it's been anything Usagi had ever imagined her life holding - even when she read action comics and adventure stories, she never imagined herself living them, had never wanted to be one of those great heroes. She'd never really known what she wanted to do. She'd never imagined it holding this.

"I don't even care if she hates me," that's a lie. She does, because she's never been hated before and doesn't like it, "It's... I don't think getting beaten down is going to fix it. Or make her change her mind. Hemachan stabbed her with a rose, and it just made her angry -" probably scared, too, "And the Outer Senshi made her cry, with their attacks, with beating her, and defending her didn't make her stop hating me. I think..."

Usagi sits up a little, unslumping across the chair so she can look at Kyouka, frowning. "She said she wouldn't let me take her magic, or something, and I think she's scared that's what someone would do. And it's not like I forgive her, or think she even deserves her dumb magic, but if she really thinks we'll take it, maybe she doesn't think she can turn back."

Maybe she could be convinced otherwise.

"That's what I'm saying! And it's - it's kinda what I told Hannah-chan too, but, killing someone - it just hurts you, and it hurts them too, and just - looking for someone to kill them, what makes us better if we go around doing that? I didn't even - I didn't even convince them. She ran away. Teleported away. And - they were mad at me for it. But I was glad."

A hard swallow.

"They said anyone she hurt from now on was on me, because they were going to stop her for good, and I didn't let them."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka reaches out a hand and squeezes Usagi's shoulder (the less-injured-looking one) as the girl sits up to look at her more directly. "Making her change her mind isn't your responsibility, Usagi-chan. Nobody can make decisions like that for anybody else. All you can try to do is show her a better way, so she sees that it exists. Remember when I said that jealousy is one reason people hate? Maybe Sunbreaker wishes she could change, and be like you. But she can't see how. I don't know her whole story, or what she's been through or what she's done. But just based on what I've heard from you, and from other people.. she probably feels trapped. Like she's made decisions and now she's stuck with them. And look, decisions do have consequences. Nobody can just do stuff and expect it not to matter. But there's very few decisions that are so awful you can never make up for them."

    She chews her lip. "I.. went through something very similar to this when I was younger. My best friend made some very poor choices, and I had to fight her to stop her from making worse ones. I'm still dealing with the consequences of that... and so is she. But I wouldn't change what I did. I think she wishes she could. But all we can do is move forward and try to do better. Not everyone understands that, but most people can grow to understand it. If they're given the chance."

    "I'm not going to sit here and tell you no criminal deserves to die. There are some crimes, some horrible acts, that can really have no other justice. There are evil people in this world who truly do deserve to die for what they've done. But Sunbreaker isn't one of them, not yet. And even if she was, killing her while she was crying and helpless on the floor is not the way it should be done."

    She sighs, leaning back again. "Maybe she'll hurt more people. But that just means you gotta stop her, right? That's what we do. And stopping people getting hurt is a lot more satisfying than being the one doing the hurting."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
The squeeze is nice. Physical touch, pretty much always nice, in Usagi's world. The reassurance is better, because it soothes her nerves, that little bit. Usagi isn't sure about the idea of Sunbreaker being jealous of her - maybe of her friends, but not of her, surely - but... "Yeah. There are going to be consequences. She - kidnapped Naru, and can't even admit she hurt her, and she put someone in the hospital, and Luna says it will probably be three or four days until these burns heal -"

Miraculous healing rate, for a normal person, but pretty standard for a magical girl with active powers.

"But she can come back. I have to think she can, if she wants to."

That if is doing a lot of work here. She listens to Inai's sensei's story and thinks - maybe. Maybe. If Sunbreaker could - if she had someone to stop her - but it can't be Usagi. Usagi isn't her friend. And Usagi can't be her friend.

Can she?

"Yeah. I've just got to keep stopping her. Because - maybe someday I will have to kill someone, some day. I don't want to - I can't - that's so permanent. But.. maybe it will happen, some day. But if it does - it's got to be - I can't - she was crying, Inai-sensei."

That's the thing she can't get out of her mind. Sunbreaker, crying in pain from the attacks she'd taken, collapsed to the ground, pitiful, and Pluto swinging her rod anyway.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Punishment for those who deserve it is just. But meting out punishment comes with responsibility." Kyouka says quietly. "You need to do it for the right reasons. And the punishment has to fit the crime."

    "Being what you are... who you are is a big responsibility, Usagi-chan." Her tone is low and quiet, but firm and full of belief. "And I know you didn't ask for it. But that's why you're the one who has to do it, y'know? People who ask for power are the people least suited to wield it. It's the people who take up the mantle regretfully, who don't do it because they want to but because it has to be done, those are the people who make the world a better place."

    "It's possible the harsh reality of this world will make you a killer some day. That's part of the responsibility. But as long as you hold tight to what you believe in, who you believe in, and your own vision of justice and what is good, it can't make you a murderer. That's a line you can never be forced to cross."

    "I don't know if you can save Sunbreaker from herself. But if she had died last night, you wouldn't have the chance to find out. Now you do. I hope you get to make the most of it."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Meting out punishment... maybe that's a little bit of what we do. When I fight the bad guys, they probably see it as punishment. When we destroy a monster - that's punishing them, sorta, I guess. There's all this responsibility, and everyone's feeling it - Naru-chan is talking to everyone, you know, talking to them and trying to figure out things and she's so smart, she's trying to put the puzzle pieces together, and I don't know how."

Because she can't not sing her best friend's praises, when she hasn't lost her ever-loving mind because Naru is here. They're not the same people they were, but the tie has stayed the same, the bond. the conenction to a time that was normal.

"Naru-chan would never let me be a murderer, either. She'd say murderers don't get muffins," it's only a joke because it's true. "And... I'm the senshi of justice. That's what I decided. Love and justice, hope and mystery, that's me. And my justice is that I hold out my hand. Even to someone I don't like. I might kick their butt first, if I have to, but I'll still - I'll still hold out my hand. I'll still try."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Punishment shouldn't be the reason for what you do but it has to be part of the responsibility. Because if it wasn't, people like Sunbreaker or Riventon would just do whatever they want. There have to be consequences. Justice is consequence. For the punished, and for their victims."

    "It's hard, but Usagi-chan, you're already seeing the truth of it. You can't do it alone- nobody can. We rely on each other's strengths. Naru-chan is smart. She has a great talent for finding stuff out, putting pieces together. Stuff maybe you're not so good at. But you can fight, you can help bring justice into the world for those who can't always do it directly for themselves, like Naru-chan. Together, combining those talents, you can accomplish almost anything."

    "But it doesn't stop with just two. You have your Senshi. They have their own strengths. You have your other friends, too- a team doesn't just have to be people linked to you by destiny or by a shared origin. It's everybody you want to choose to rely on, and who relies on you."

    "Everyone brings their own skills, their own heart, to the fight." Kyouka touches Usagi's shoulder again. "Love and justice." She touches her own chest, over her heart. "Sincerity and respect. We bring what we are. We put it together. And when the responsibility is shared over that many shoulders, it's a lot easier to bear."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Justice is consequence. Dishing out punishment, but also stopping it from going too far. People had been hurt and scared - it was only fair, maybe even only just, that those who caused it be hurt and scared too. Usagi wouldn't be allowed to pull her punches in a fight - this loss had shown her that much. Sunbreaker was strong, and Riventon had been too, with his shields and his tricks. They would do whatever they wanted, if no one stopped them, and by stopping the Outer Senshi, Usagi had made everything Sunbreaker did, every person she hurt, her own problem.

It was a lot, okay?

But Inai-sensei was right too. She wasn't alone in this. She had never been alone with this - from the start there had been Luna and Hemachan and Naru, and so many others, a whole web of friends, from Inai-sensei and Walo-chan to Chiyo-chan and Rei-chan. Friends she'd made herself. Friends drawn to her by their common duty, their common responsibilities.

So she finds it in herself to smile.

"You better watch out, Inai-sensei, because you sounded like a real counselor right there. Before you know it, everyone's going to want your advice on making friends and joining clubs and - and figuring themselves out."

Haha, there's wetness in her eyes. She scrubs at it, breathing in. "It's not all on me. It's all of us, together."]

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka rolls her eyes at the comment about 'real counselor'. "Heaven forbid. You just ask me about things I actually have answers for." She smiles, less lopsided and more genuine than normal. "I went through this sort of thing too, when I was about your age. Trying to figure out what was 'right', what I could do or couldn't, what I should do or shouldn't. I had to figure it out for myself, and I think I did an okay job. And hell, your answers might be different than mine. But if I can make it a little easier to figure out your own answers by telling you about mine, then I feel like I'm actually doing my job."

    Seeing the tears in Usagi's eyes, even as the girl goes to dash them away, she hesitates for a moment, then reaches out and pulls the girl up so she can give her a hug- gentle and careful not to press on any injuries. Just enough of a squeeze to show that she really does care, before she releases her again.

    "You'll never be alone, in this life and beyond. I can promise you that. You're strong, and you have strong beliefs about what's right and what's wrong. Because of that, people are going to look to you as an example. But that doesn't mean you can't lean on other people for support, too. Even the tallest buildings are only as strong as their foundations, their support structure. If you remember that you'll do fine."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
The hug is - good. Usagi doesn't hesitate to throw her arms around Kyouka, even if she doesn't cling - she doesn't have the strength to really manage it. She scrubs at her eyes again, breathing deep to try and just... ease herself into it. "That's the worst part of this. ...no, the fighting is still the worst part, but the second worst part, figuring all this stuff out. I thought I was supposed to have all of high school to figure out all these big philosophical questions..."

Prince of High School has lied to her, in this regard anyway. Life has come at her fast, and figuring these things out - what it means to be a leader, to have responsibility, to make justice -

She really doesn't feel qualified. She doesn't feel ready. She worries she'll make mistakes, that she'll do something she can't take back.

But.

"Yeah... I'd be nowhere fast without everyone, all my friends, and allies. Even - even if I disagree with the Outer Senshi, even if I won't let them do what they want... they still saved me. They were still helping me, and I think they still would, even knowing we don't want the same things. It's not all on me."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Kid," And now Kyouka sounds sardonic and amused as she leans back on her desk again. "I hate to break it to ya, but you never really 'figure out' all the big philosophical questions. I'm still working on 'em to this day and I figure I will be for a long while yet."

    "You do the best you can. And maybe your answers even change over time, because you keep learning new stuff, getting exposed to new people and new ideas. The important thing is to do what feels right in your heart. Listen to what other people say, consider their perspective.. but decide for yourself. You'll figure it out a bit at a time. That's how we all do it."

    "For the time being, though, how about you take it easy for a little while?" She makes an exaggerated show of looking Usagi up and down, taking in her injuries. "At least go splurge on a piece of cake or something. I hear it helps the healing."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Oh that is not comforting at all," Usagi exhales, covering her eyes dramatically. "Inai-sensei, you're supposed to say I'll figure it all out and everything will be fine. But I guess that's living in happiness and rainbows."

Her lips twist in a scowl at the thought; she should - even if she's scared, she should find her. That Senshi she didn't know, the one with Neptune and Pluto. She needed to... to try and figure out her deal. Why she said what she said, and all of that.

The rest of what Kyouka says earns a slow nod, and Usagi looks down at herself too, scowl rising into a little smile - not at her injuries, but, "I was trying to take it easy, believe it or not. But cake sounds really good, actually."