189/Elephant-san

From Radiant Heart MUSH

Elephant-san
Date of Scene: 26 July 2023
Location: Radiant Heart Academy
Synopsis: Before fight club: What starts out as guidance-counseloring turns into a bickering match turns into Kyouka stalking off and Usagi dealing with heartfelt confessions of trouble from Darien.
Cast of Characters: Kyouka Inai, Usagi Tsukino, Mamoru Chiba


Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Wednesday afternoon sometime, a good while before she needs to be ready for self-defense class, Kyouka is making her way across campus in the general direction of her office. She has her sleeves rolled up and her sunglasses on, but she's not allowed to smoke on campus so instead she's chewing bubblegum.

Loudly.

Technically this isn't allowed on campus either (for students) because 'they'll stick the chewed gum everywhere' but being a member of faculty has some perks! Even if it seems like she's the only one who takes advantage of this tone.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Wednesday afternoon means prepping for self-defense class, and the mahou fite club that follows. And if you're Usagi, prepping means being as lazy as possible, to prepare the body for all that energy you're about to use up. And in this case? That means laying out on a blanket under the shade of a tree. She's even brought herself a little pillow, because why wouldn't she?

At least she's not asleep (not yet, anyway). She's reading a manga instead - or, two copies of the same manga - Volume 1 of Fruits Basket in both Japanese and English. She's flipping through the pages of the Japanese edition, then comparing it to the English copy, humming to herself as she does.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka might have just kept on walking right by- after all, a student laying in the shade reading manga isn't exactly headline news, nor even worthy of note on most summer afternoons. But its the clinging aura of powerful magic which attracts her attention, and causes her to identify the manga-reader.

    Which is why when a shadow falls upon Usagi, it is the shadow of the counselor. She grins, and pops her bubblegum. "Don't tell me you can actually read that in English." She says. She has doubt in her tone, but not the mean kind. Rather she would genuinely be very impressed. Her 'english knowledge' basically amounts to poorly-pronounced catchphrases she saw on TV.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Barely even a little bit," Usagi says sheepishly, saving her place and looking up. "Darien-kun gave me the English copies, with some notes. It's my favorite manga, and this is way more fun than English homework."

From someone else, there might have been a challenging note in the way Darien's name is said. From Usagi, it's matter of fact and fond. The discussion they'd had about Darien might as well have never happened, for as casual as she is. Still, with a teacher present, Usagi is quick to sit herself upright, setting her manga aside.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka doesn't comment on the source of the manga, nor the way in which Darien's name is said. Her intention had never been to warn Usagi away from Darien, even if that was how Usagi took it. She just wanted the girl to tread carefully.

    She just nods her head to the comment about it being more fun than english homework. "No doubt. Sometimes I think they design those lessons to be boring. " Spoken like a true PE teacher, way to go Kyouka.

    After a moment she turns herself around and sits down in the shade next to Usagi. Not on her blanket, just on the grass. Not too close as to be overly familiar, but casual nonetheless as she leans back on her hands. "I had wanted to talk to you before the next class anyway, Usagi-chan."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"That's what I think too," Usagi says in a conspirational tone, "That way Ms. Haruna can yell at me when I fall asleep in class."

When, not if, because how could anyone stay awake when everything is so hard and boring?

Still, she's pretty sure Inai-sensei wants to talk to her about more than just manga... and she's proven right when her teacher takes a seat beside her. "Is this about what you said about Ms. Tragar-chan and me?"

Specifically about how they were going to blow everything up?

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Yeah, I guess." Kyouka agrees. She's still chewing her gum, and she blows a bubble, pops it, and sucks it back in while contemplating her choice of works.

    "You're very strong, Usagi-chan. And I don't mean that as flattery, 'cause being strong ain't always an easy thing, despite what people might think. But it's true. I doubt that you or Ms. Trager would have been hurt, last time. But it's possible someone else could have. Not everybody who attends these classes could go toe-to-toe with you, at least in terms of innate ability. And that will become even more the case as you learn to use that ability more effectively."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"...you said before that I had incredible power," Usagi says slowly, as if these aren't words that have come back to her every single time she whined or complained to herself about fighting or monsters. "That's not normal, is it?"

Kyouka had told her, of course, that she had more power, that there were others with little to no power. But she'd been thinking about people like Naru-chan - people who were normal, not other people like her, or Ms. Tragar.

The idea of being better than her peers at something - even something she doesn't have control over, like raw power - is a baffling one.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Well," Kyouka says, and its clear she's trying to think of the best way to say these things without implying that Usagi is somehow better than everyone else- the point here is not to inflate the ego of a teenage girl (not that Usagi would likely take it that way anyway, but Kyouka is trying to be mindful). "It's just like anything else. Like being smart, or strong, or good at art. Everybody can work at those things and become good, to a certain point. But some people are just naturally talented. They get it easier."

    She tilts her head, looking sideways at Usagi from behind her sunglasses. "It's kind of like that. You've got more magic than the average magical girl. I won't say you're the strongest- I don't know who's the strongest, and I've known others who could probably go toe-to-toe with you. But it's not common. You are decidedly above average when it comes to raw output. I can say that with confidence, having tried to block one of your tiara-throws."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
He's not right there, but Darien can be seen -- by Usagi -- on the approach with a small conbenie bag. Kyouka can't see him because he's definitely coming from behind her, but there's enough recent dark energy use that she can probably smell it from as far away as she could zero in on Usagi's energy. It's summer, so it once more being a t-shirt day probably isn't surprising. It's an UNMASK aLIVE shirt, but a different one from the last Usagi saw him in.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Inflating her ego is the last thing on Usagi's mind when she hears this - and not because she's some magically pure of heart girl, lacking an ego. No, it's mostly because her own fearful uncertainty rises at the thought. "So I could - hurt someone, then, if I fight the way we're supposed to?"

She remembers Ms. Tragar's response to Usagi's worries, her pride and her upset, and the way she'd encouraged Usagi to give it her all - and she also remembers very clearly how upset Kyouka had been when she did. There's more she wants to say, but past her teacher, she can see -

"Darien?!" He's probably too far away to hear them (she hopes he's too far away to hear them), but at least there's no way her teacher can miss her meaning.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "No," Kyouka says, firmly, "If you use it the way we're supposed to, you won't hurt anyone. But if you use it recklessly, then you might. That's what I wanted to impress upon you. Being strong is great. But it comes with a pricetag.. you need to be mindful of how you use that power. More than most. Control of that power is the goal-"

    She breaks off as Usagi says Darien's name, the realization of the sense of Dark Energy hitting her at about the same time. She makes a little bit of a face, as if to say 'ew', but she doesn't actually say anything, or move from her position. She says 'Hm?' to Usagi's exclamation, as if she's not sure what the girl is getting at.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
And then Darien picks up the pace and jogs the last few meters, grinning at Usagi. "I even got one," he says to her before greeting Kyouka, "for Counselor Inai, because I knew if I didn't you'd just give her yours."

What he's talking about is the bottles of Ramune clinking in the bag that he sets down between the two. "Then I'd give you mine, and I wouldn't have any. So." He reaches into the bag and pulls out his own bottle, then regards Kyouka. "Have a refreshing beverage. Or don't."

He's so astonishingly sixteen.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
See, Inai-sensei says no, but she says it in that way that very unfortunately means, 'yes if you mess up.' And Usagi is really good at messing up, so this is not doing much for her confidence - but the word control does sound good, even if she's not sure how that might work...

And even if she doesn't have time to think about it, because before she can even explain to Inai-sensei, Darien is right there.

"How'd you know I'd be with someone?" Usagi asks, and she's giggling a little, even as she reaches out and takes one of the Ramune bottles. "I didn't even know I'd be with someone."

The tension between her two guests goes right over her head for the moment, her mood buoyed by Darien's appearance.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Ah, perfect. Thank you, Mr. Shields, you make a wonderful assistant." Kyouka says, her tone and demeanor somehow indicating that not only did she know Darien was coming, she might have instructed him to bring the ramune. She didn't, of course, but she effortlessly acts like it as she reaches into the bag and takes a bottle out.

    "See, Usagi-chan," She goes on, as if the boy's arrival is irrelevant beyond him bringing the beverages, "it's like ramune. If you don't control the marble, you won't get any of your artifically flavored sugar water. But if you line the marble up just right, it flows."

    She looks at Darien over the top of her sunglasses, her ashen eyes twinkling. "Control is everything."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien rolls his eyes at Kyouka and deposits himself in the grass more or less next to Usagi -- more or less because he's not about to sit on any of her stuff, or take up her blanket (except for the edge maybe). "I saw you on the grass maybe ten minutes ago and went to get drinks," he explains, thonking the marble into his own bottleneck, "and then I saw her get here and went to get another."

He takes a drink before he addresses Kyouka, and behind his own glasses, Earth-blue eyes meet ashen grey. "Control is a lot," he corrects, "but it isn't everything. First you have to move the marble at all, and that takes at least the strength of a five year old."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "And the brains of one, too. Well done, Mr. Shields." Kyouka says, smiling brightly.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien nods gravely. "I see you opened yours," he observes.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Yes, I did! Quite a while before you. But you got there eventually." Kyouka says, jovially.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"I think you'll find you'll lose if you compete with a sixteen-year-old," Darien tells Kyouka kindly, then sips his drink again.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Ah.

Usagi sits back, watching the two of them argue. She'd been about to say something to Inai-sensei, or, attempt too, anyway. Metaphors were not her forte and the idea of asking how exactly one managed control when it was not with the marble in the ramune neck. She'd also been prepared to say something, to Darien, compliment him on how thoughtful it was that he'd saw her and bought a drink, thank him for the manga.

But.

But well, it's really clear that he and Inai-sensei... "Are you two related?"

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka is still smiling jovially, but her grip on the bottle of ramune has gotten dangerously tight, and it looks as though she's relatively close to breaking the thing on a nearby rock and trying to stab Darien with it, which would surely get her fired, so it's almost a good thing Usagi interrupts.

    Kyouka is actually speechless for a long moment, looking at Usagi with an expression that's equal parts horrified and astounded. "Wh-... no!" She exclaims, flustered. "I'm not any more related to this dude than I am to... to Saitou-kun!"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien literally almost spittakes, but has his hand over his mouth in enough time and only ends up cough-laughing instead, first incredulously at the idea and then just helplessly at Kyouka's reaction. He puts his bottle down and takes off his glasses, wiping at his eyes -- still laughing -- with his wrists; when he can get any words out at all, he says "Your face...!!" and loses it again. Wheezing.

Finally, finally, wiping his eyes again and still with bright untainted laughter at the back of his words, he asks Kyouka, "You've talked to Saitou-kun? He's coming to a cookout my roommate is having. I only met him once, but he was really good with my sister."

Suddenly he's really earnestly telling Usagi, "You have to help me make friends with him! Please? If I start messing up, kick my foot or something!"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Are you sure?" Usagi asks, as if this isn't a thing most people are very sure about. "Only, you two argue exactly like and my brother Shingo, so -"

Inai-sensei's specific named protest has Usagi considering, but probably not in the way Kyouka would prefer - instead, she's considering the grey of Kyouka's eyes and how it matched with her one-time memory of Kazuo's, and thinking that one of their parents could have red hair and the other silver, but then where does Darien's dark hair come from - but Darien offers a successful distraction, not just with his laughter, but his eager excitement.

"I'll try?" She offers helplessly, "I'm not as good friends with him as I want to be yet. He's really Naru-chan's friend, but he's super cool, and he's really nice, so I want him to be my friend too. Maybe we'll tag team it? If we both try our hardest, he's got to like us."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka falls silent as Darien just starts laughing at her, and for just a moment, her face actually softens- as if his laughter does something to soothe her instinctively combative reactions. There's even a hint of a smile for just a moment.

    It dies when Darien suddenly starts enthusiastically asking Usagi to help him befriend Kazuo. Her face goes stony, her eyes concealed behind her sunglass lenses, as she stays silent for a long moment, watching the two of them. Whatever is going on in her head is not communicated through her body language- if anything, she looks tense.

    Suddenly, she stands, brushing her pressed slacks off with her hands somewhat brusquely. "Control," She says, as if the intervening conversations had never happened, "Means seizing your own destiny. You can choose your friends. You can even choose your family, although not everyone realizes that." There's something grave in her tone, completely at odds with the light laughter of the other two. "But Choose wisely. Once it's done, there's really no escaping it." She sighs, turning and putting her hand in her pocket as she lifts the other in a casual wave. "See you at class, Usagi-chan." And she's meandering away back towards the path, chewing her gum, the picture of nonchalance.

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien's bright-eyed, his glasses still in his hand, and he's about to reply to Usagi when Kyouka gets up, changed face and everything, and starts...

He just stares after her, and his other hand fists in the grass next to him on the side opposite Usagi.

"It's not..." he starts, his voice strangely smaller.

A second later, he chuffs out an annoyed sound, sitting up straighter. "What's with her? Maybe she's having a sugar crash or something," he says, scrunching up his face before letting go the grass and picking his bottle up again.

He takes a contemplative sip, then grins again, even if it's not as energetically eager as it was a moment ago. "Anyway, yes let's team up! We can't lose!"

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Usagi sees it. The way Kyouka's face softens, the barest hint of a smile. How could she miss it? As a person who always puts a smile on people's faces, she notices those smiles, whether it's truly her who causes them or not. Which is why she's not prepared for the way that smile goes dark, the way their excitement seems to - not offend her but -

And Usagi remembers that warning, to be cautious. And she wonders if that's what bites at Inai-sensei now, the feeling that she should warn Kazuo-senpai, and she frowns.

"Control," she echoes instead of saying any of that. "It's important. I'll try to remember that." Controlling herself. Her power. Her destiny - Usagi has the feeling that that isn't actually something she can control. Sailor Moon, and her power (Where is your power, Sailor Moon!?), she didn't choose that. But her friends... and the people she's shared with... she has chosen that.

And maybe she can control her power, at least, even if she couldn't control the choice to have it.

"She's a teacher," Usagi tells Darien, a little distracted. "I think it's in the contract to be as vague as possible." She only feels a little bad, because she knows it's more than that, even if she doesn't know why...

"But forget about that. We can worry about that at Self Defense class - you're coming, right? For now, we can plan our attack! Our friendship attack! I think inviting him was a good move, and we can ask him about his interests, because everyone likes being listened too, right?"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien nods, and oh he's trying to maintain the return of joviality, but-- right-- self-defense class.

"Yes," he says, and then he looks back the way Kyouka left, and then looks back to Usagi. He hangs his glasses off the neck of his t-shirt.

"I mean, yes, everyone likes to be listened to, and yes, we should leave worrying about her until self-defense class, but--"

Darien looks down at his hand, relieved of its spectacles. He closes and opens it. "Can I tell you something? A piece of something true, with an awful lot left out."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Usagi considers carefully, once the request is made, and - "Yes," she says simply. She thinks about Koji-senpai and aloe vera and a bottle of detangler, a new comb. She thinks about elephants and secrets. "Of course you can, Dari-kun."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Dari-kun.

He has permission, he can tell her, and there are so many pieces of so many things that he wants to tell her, that he wants to just say, outright. There are so many jagged-edged little things that would hurt them both if he let them out before he could glue them back together. There are so many broken little words, which ones are safest to put together that can say the most?

One corner of his mouth gets tugged upward, a little, and it's amusement but it's detached. His eyes are still him, all the way down, but they're not reflecting the humor. "Two things, then. One, that's very cute thank you. Two--"

Darien takes a careful breath. "Two, I'm-- I-- think she was talking about me. And she's wrong. I think you can change your destiny after you've made a choice. I think sometimes you can choose again. But-- I think-- she wants to protect Kazuo." He looks at Usagi's shoulder, breaking eye contact. "From me. She's right to want to. And I think she'll screw it up. I think she'll make it worse. And I can't stop her."

Then he's looking at his hands, together, at the bottle of Ramune. "But I think he'd be safe from me if you're there, Usagi-chan."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Secrets on secrets, words half-said, words unsaid. Friends who share things in pieces and parts, and Usagi, feeling like a hypocrite for judging, because her dorm room is neatly split between the one who knows and the one who doesn't. Is her secret even protecting anyone but herself? Has Naru-chan been any safer, for not knowing why things are happening? Luna says she doesn't know, that she can't see it all, but that can't be right, can it? Naru saw the monster at the mall. She threw her shoe at it! So... the secret then...

Maybe she shouldn't judge Koji-senpai and Dari-kun for the secrets they're keeping from each other. She's been trying not too. She doesn't get it, how they live with secrets unknown but still acknowledged, but it works for them, doesn't it? In a way she can't imagine it working for her and Naru-chan.

A way it's having to work, for her and Darien, because there are things he wants to say, things he wants to keep hidden, sharing only in pieces she doesn't really understand.

His smile is real, but empty, almost like the ramune bottles in their hands, real, but more empty than full.

"You're welcome," she says, automatic, before he continues. She listens to what he has to say, for his second point.

"If she's going to warn Kazuo-senpai off you the way she tried to warn me off you, he's going to get mad."

The first words to leave her lips, and they're not - explosive, but they're automatic and sure. She doesn't know Kazuo well, and she wants to think Inai-sensei wouldn't do that, but if she thinks Darien is bad news - but she can't imagine someone as sure and confident and cool as Kazuo-senpai listening to a teacher on a topic like that. She can't imagine him taking it well, either.

And then she looks at Darien, even if he's not looking at her. "I don't know if people can choose their destiny. I think sometimes things happen even if you don't want them too and you just have to try and live with it. Dari-kun," and that nickname is very deliberate. So is her choice, to acknowledge the elephant "Are you in trouble?"

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"I can't talk about it if I am," says Darien, finally looking up. He looks rueful, and at least it isn't empty. "I don't think it's right that it should be impossible to fix things when they're really wrong. I think maybe we're getting definitions of 'destiny' mixed up, too, but it's okay."

He finishes his bottle of soda and carefully sets it on the grass again. "Thanks for being mad. I had no idea she said that to you. I just asked her to watch your back, and she said she'd protect you from me, and I said good thanks. Because I--"

He cuts himself off again and makes a small sound of frustration, and reaches up behind his head to the back of his neck; he takes out his ponytail, then shakes his hair loose. "The guys you saw me with at the dance, right? Them. They want Saitou-kun with me and them. I want Saitou-kun with me and you. That's probably saying too much. So, here, thing three, just in case--"

And he leans in, and he cups his hand around his mouth, and he whispers carefully in Usagi's ear-- practically breathes it, it's so quiet, only just audible: "My name is Mamoru. I might forget it again."

Then he leans back and regards her, Earth-blue eyes unobstructed by glasses, shaggy waves of long hair framing his face and dancing a little in the summer breeze. Like deja-vu. "I'm sorry the pieces are so small when the puzzle is so big."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Maybe that's not what she meant," Usagi says, generous (and unknowingly truthful). "But it's how I heard it. It made me mad, you know? You're my friend. And if you're in trouble, even if you can't talk about it, I'll help. However I can." And there are more ways that she can help than he might think. "And - if that's what you mean by destiny -" her eyes are focused on him, intent. There's love in her eyes, the kind of love she offers her friends so easily and openly and innocently. The kind of love that's never been betrayed, from a heart that's never been broken. "Then you're right. It's never too late. We can always fix things."

She can't think of anything that anyone couldn't walk back from. Can't imagine a step too far, a plunge too deep.

This is important. This moment, even if she can't know why, even if he can't tell her why, even if -

"Your friends?" she asks, blunt and careful all at once, remembering three well dressed guys, and Darien, all together. She remembers Inai-sensei warning her about Darien's friends, and wishes for the first time that she hadn't been so mad, that she could remember without the cloud of rage.

Kazuo-senpai and her and Darien. Darien and his friends. Two different groups. Two different things. Trouble, but the kind he can't talk about, the elephant that won't respond, even when she jabs it with a thorn.

And then -

A whisper, barely audible, breath that tickles her ear, a sound so quiet and - Mamoru. Why would he forget? Usagi wasn't ready for this kind of trouble.

He pulls away and she reaches out. It's instinct, it's gut response, it's not planned and thought and tactfully considered - she's never been good at puzzles, Usagi, it's never been her thing, sitting quiet and still and putting the pieces together, but maybe she just needed motivation. She think about her manga, the manga he bought her, and boys hiding secrets they want to tell, and girls with secrets they're too scared to tell, and how a single embrace can tear it all down, and she doesn't think it will be that easy, of course not. This isn't a manga, not even a well written one.

He pulls away, and she reaches out. Catches his hand in hers, warm skin against skin, brushing gently. "I'm not great at puzzles. Be patient with me, okay? I want to figure it out. I'm not good at looking away from the elephant."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Darien-- Mamoru? -- Darien. He doesn't pull his hand away from Usagi reaching for it, taking it. In fact, he lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and his chin doesn't crumple but it thinks about it, just judging by the way his jaw's moving. There's nothing extra, nothing special about his touch, other than yes-- his hand is warm too.

It's what Usagi says as she takes his hand that cures some of the well of unwanted physiological effects of high emotion: 'the elephant', looking away from the elephant. The corners of the boy's eyes crinkle, and maybe his eyes are a little too bright, but that's a deep affection behind them. "It's okay," he says, "if you take a long time. And there are people who can help you."

Then his other hand comes up and he starts to reach out with it, too, but he hesitates and then lets it drop. "But oh, please, be careful. They are my friends, yes. I owe them a lot, and I love them, but they hurt people. I hurt people sometimes, too."

He wasn't afraid, with the big vines at the beach. He wasn't afraid with the plant-teacher. He stole the ring. He stole the ice cream. He helped with the unconscious students. He wasn't afraid of fire-eyes. He told her to look back at the people eating the ice cream.

He helped her with her algebra, he got her the manga and annotated it. He took dangerous things out of her hands.

"So I'm sorry you're not good at looking away from the elephant. And I'm almost sorry," he adds, a glimmer of amusement there, "that I was trying to teach you to lie. Just-- there are things you shouldn't tell me about."

'He wants you in that space,' Koji had said.

"And I'd like it, if I haven't ruined everything, if you still called me Dari-kun."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
She keeps hold of his hand. Of course she does. Until he pulls away, there's her hand on his, her soft fingers wrapped around his, her concern warm and bright and obvious in her eyes. She thinks carefully about what she wants to say, trying not to be all of her usual impulsive self, the hare, the usagi, who runs and runs and then gets so tired and overconfident she is defeated by the steady tortoise. It's okay if you take a long time. Is it really, if he's in danger, if something is wrong? But is it worse, if she rushes and messes up?

"I'll find the people who can help then," she decides, and doesn't take his other hand, leaves him free to make his choice. And as he speaks, its a good thing she hasn't entirely given up on Elephant-san, because she wants to ask - do you know Fire Eyes? Do you know that man, from Juuban? But she doesn't. He and Koji-senpai have lived with Elephant-san a lot longer than she has. There's horror, of course, that he's hurt people. That he's friends with people who have hurt people, that she has to wonder, if he knows Fire Eyes, that she has to wonder if Inai-sensei was right - but there's also horror for him. His name is Mamoru and he might forget and he hurts people, and he doesn't want to.

The last part doesn't have to be confessed for her to know. No one who helped her so eagerly, so often, so gently and enthusiastically and kindly, wanted to hurt people.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"They're in trouble too," she says instead, and, "I'll definitely have to find enough people to help. You're all so big and tall, I can't even tap your heads and tell you to play nice." It's what her Mama would do, and obviously, it's worse than all that, it's not a playground fight, it's something worse, because Darien knew she didn't want to go to the hospital, knew exactly had had lived beneath Hello Kitty bandages before Koji-senpai and Hotaru-chan fixed her up good as new, and he hadn't had to ask. She hadn't really, really thought about it. Now she does.

There's a question + do your monsters have better plans than jewelry sale zombies and succulent men, but she doesn't ask. It would be mean. It would be jabbing Elephant-san again. "I'm not sorry. If I could look away, I wouldn't have asked if you were in trouble. I wouldn't know your other name, Dari-kun."

Of course she'll still call him that. It's his name, from her. It's the name she gave him, and he'll have to try hard to lose it. "I won't tell you the things you don't want to know. I won't make it easier for you to have to hurt someone." Fire Eyes was looking for them. Maybe Darien knew him. Maybe he didn't. But Fire Eyes wanted to hunt the ones defying him, and whoever - whoever stole Mamoru's name from him, whoever called him Darien instead, they probably would want to do that too. She might not like secrets, but Darien was hiding behind Elephant-san. She shouldn't be the one to take that away, not when it wasn't her who invited Elephant-san in.

"But you can tell me things. All the things you want."

Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Nobody who looks so relieved at Usagi's desire to help them stop hurting people could want to hurt people, could they? And -- that's another thing, another thing he does, he has done. He just believes her when she says things. For someone who lies so often and so easily, he believes her so unhesitatingly, believes in her so readily.

You can do it, Usagi. You can do it, Sailor Moon!

Usagi tries to make it lighter, and it works, a little, briefly. Play nice. But then he looks down at their hands, and he sandwiches hers in between his larger ones. "They are in trouble, but they're in worse trouble, and it's trouble I got them in. I didn't think." Darien chuffs out a laugh with no amusement behind it, just tiredness. "It's hard to think, sometimes."

Sometimes it's easier not to think than to think terrible things. (If Sailor Moon is that strong, he had thought at the beach, I'll need stronger youma to oppose her.)

He can smile for Usagi, though, at her knowing his other name, at her use of that one. He nods once, firm, and then squeezes her hand lightly between his. "Yes," he says, "and -- you can talk to Naru about me, if you want. She remembers things. She remembered the explosion at the mall, and she wants to ask me things, and that's okay, but she's your best friend, and you're not like-- you're safe."

Then he's silent for a moment. A heartbeat, then two, three. And he says in a quiet voice, "I don't know where the line is. Of what it's okay for me to tell you, of what it's okay as long as I make sure I don't remember, and of what it's not okay. My friends hit 'not okay' a lot faster than I do, and it's like they're different people. So I have to be careful, and sometimes I won't remember things. I think I'm still okay, but if I forget we talked about anything but Inai-san and befriending Saitou-san, you know why."

Elephant-san is in his mind.