2284/Motive Matters

Motive Matters
Date of Scene:	31 January 2025
Location:	Campus Gardens
Synopsis:	Following Koan's attack - and death - in Murder, She Wrote, Usagi seeks out Wako and Kyouka, for purification and guidance. Doubt weighs heavy, but that's what friends are for.
Cast of Characters:	Usagi Tsukino, Wako Agemaki, Kyouka Inai
Tinyplot:	Black Moon Clan
Tinyplot2:	BMC: Rabbit Hunt

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Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Yesterday, at an hour so late it was technically today, Wako received a text message.

    Usagi TXT: wakochan can we meet up tomorrow? i need to
    Usagi TXT: i'd like you to purify me
    Usagi TXT: if you can. madoka-chan offered but i'd rather it was you

Wako had agreed, thankfully, and now it's today, on campus, in one of the side gardens by a large fountain, because - well, Wako's not really concerned about her identity, and Usagi doesn't want to tempt fate into getting attacked by a monster the second she needs to get purified, if she's honest.

It was only after the meeting was set that she'd thought about it, and decided to text Kyouka, as well, because... because she needs help. Advice. A listening ear that will punch her in the shoulder (metaphorically she hopes), when she's being dumb.

    Usagi TXT: kyouka-sensei can you come meet me and wako in the school garden by the fountain?
    Usagi TXT: the one with the statue
    Usagi TXT: the statue of birds
    Usagi TXT: not the one where it's an elephant in a truck

When they join her, they'll find an Usagi who's still tired-looking, a little wan, shadows in her eyes and melancholy.

Wako Agemaki has posed:
Wako would've come immediately, if it was needed - but no, Usagi said, tomorrow. So now it's tomorrow, and Wako stops to buy a couple of taiyaki from the stand on campus before she hurries to the garden with the bird statue fountain, not the one with the elephant truck.

She's halfway through one of the taiyaki by the time she trots up to where Usagi is sitting, and promptly holds out the other one. It's still warm from being toasted. "Here," she says, "it sounded like you needed it. Purification first?" Her eyes are full of concern as she looks Usagi over.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka had gotten the message, and had agreed with a simple 'ok'. She doesn't ask what this is about- she knows Usagi wouldn't ask her to meet if it there wasn't a reason, and she'll find the reason out when she gets there. She's enough aware of the things going on surrounding Sailor Moon that she at least has an inkling as to the topic, if not the specifics.

    And so at the appointed time, she enters the side garden, wearing her work clothes but with her jacket on overtop because it's fairly chilly in Tokyo this time of year, shades perched upon her face.

    She spies Usagi as she enters the area and notices her rather worn-out demeanor. Rather than addressing that, she instead takes a moment to appreciate the statue. "I don't understand modern art." She says to the universe at large, before turning back towards her student.

    At about this time, before she can say anything more, Wako runs up and gives Usagi food. Kyouka approves of this, because food is the best solution to bad feelings. "Wako-chan." She greets the other girl, eyes shifting back to Usagi with a studying tilt at the mention of purification, but she doesn't ask further questions just yet.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
The taiyaki is accepted gratefully, Usagi biting into the tail and chewing over it for a moment, thinking about what she wants to say -

But Wako-chan's given her a great out, and she nods, because she would like the purification first. "Purification first. Sorry, I'm... I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. A - lot happened. I'll fill you in... as soon as I'm out of the hamster ball of good-ouches."

Her lips quirk, like she's going for a smile that doesn't quite manifest. She's lucky to even be at school today - her parents had been horrified yesterday, and for good reason, and lying to them had been a lot harder this time, and - just thinking of it has her eyes stinging, tears rolling down her cheeks. Usagi the crybaby, heart on her sleeve, strikes again.

"It was really bad. I - hurt someone. And she - needed to go down, but not like that, and -" she cuts herself off, shaking her head, shoulders up to her ears and rounded as she curls in on herself. She's not going to kid herself about the amount of darkness there, in her core. She knows it's just a faint shadow, a small seed. The churning sickness in the pit of her stomach isn't really because of that bit of dark energy.

Wako Agemaki has posed:
"Apprivoiser." Wako doesn't hesitate. In the usual burst of glittering pink light, she's transformed right there on campus, and she stuffs the rest of her taiyaki into her mouth to quickly nomf it down before she holds out a hand to Usagi. The shimmering soap-bubble curve of her shield forms around them both.

The time Hematite asked a similar favor is on her mind; there's no dragging it out. The sphere floods with rosy pink light the color of dawn, to drive away the seed of darkness that's trying to take root in Usagi's heart.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka is used to seeing Usagi cry- the girl has been known to cry over someone eating the last piece of cake, among other things. But she can tell this isn't like that- the kid is seriously upset about something. So she doesn't make a quippy comment or otherwise downplay things.. she just stays back and lets Wako do her thing. At this point she doesn't even know why Usagi thinks she needs purification, but she assumes that if she requested it there's a reason, and it's not like it's going to hurt. Well, harm. It might hurt a little.

    So she waits until the process is complete, content to know she'll get the story afterwards, hands in the pocket of her jacket. She's standing back near to the entrance of the garden, almost as if keeping watch, or standing guard. Maybe some habits are just hard to break.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Wako-chan is really the ideal kind of senpai (not that Usagi's ever going to embarrass her by saying that Usagi sees her as one) - the sort who acts quickly, moves fast, and is fully reassuring.

The shimmering bubble encapsulates them both, instead of leaving Usagi alone and tainted. There's a moment where she looks with apprehension at the world through that reflective light -

And then everything is the rosy dawn-pink light of Ginga Otome's power. As unrelenting and undeniable as the daily rising of the sun.

Usagi cries out - it hurts - but it's as much relief as it is the sting of purification, and she wobbles when it's over.

When Wako let's the bubble down, she says, not meeting either of their eyes - "The enemy - the one from the future that I told you guys about - one of them attacked yesterday. Koan. She." Her face pales, just thinking about it. She scrubs at her face. "She tried to kill my little brother's best friend yesterday. Because in Chibiusa-chan's future, he's important, and because - because he supports me, and she hates me, hates all of us Senshi, so she - she b-broke his neck -"

There was honestly no point in wiping the tears away, because they're coming down again. She sinks down on her knees in the grass, thinking about it all over again, Junichi terrified, Junichi kicking, Junichi limp as he hurtled to the ground -
"I couldn't do anything to help him," her grief makes the words a confession.

Wako Agemaki has posed:
The ball of light around them both vanishes, fading softly away like the sunrise it resembles. Wako, still in the glitzy white and gold of her henshin, goes down onto her knees next to Usagi and wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders and hugs her gently.

She listens, her face sober, brows slowly drawing together as she understands the gravity of what happened. "....Did you kill her?" she asks, quietly and without judgment.

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Again, Kyouka says nothing, as the ball finishes its work and vanishes, and Usagi relates the story of what happened. There are questions she could ask, things she wants to ask, but she figures it's best to let Usagi finish talking before she says anything. It doesn't help to interrupt the person expressing their trauma, even if you're trying to be helpful. She's got enough guidance-counseling under her belt by now to understand that.

    Wako asks the most pertinent question, anyway. Kyouka walks closer, hands still in pockets, but she remains quiet, grey eyes on Usagi and waiting to hear what she answers.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
The question is asked without judgement, and answered with what would usually be sheepishness, but is now just - exhaustion. Usagi scrubs at her face again, trying to catch her breath as she leans into Wako's embrace.

"It was like... a four-way tie between me and Madoka-chan and Amy-chan and Kazuo-kun," she mumbles against her shoulder, before sitting up. "But none of them decided to like, forget the lasers and just beat her."

That's the part she regrets. That's the part she knows was her hatred, taking over, that's the part she knows was because she wanted Koan to hurt the way Junichi was, the way Mamoru was -

"After we - I caught him and Mamochan and Charon-chan were healing him and they had to - to open up his neck, and there was a straw, so he could breathe - she tried again and I just lost it."

A pause.

"The next thing I knew, I was just hitting her over and over with my rod."

Wako Agemaki has posed:
Wako is quiet for a while, just listening, just lending her support. She winces a little in sympathy at the mention of a straw and needing to opening up the poor kid's neck. As to the rest...

She thinks for a little while in silence.

"I don't think killing her was wrong," she says at last, very seriously. "She had to be stopped before anyone else got hurt, and it doesn't sound like there was going to be any chance of reasoning with her. But... I get it, too. Why you needed purifying, and why it scares you."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    Kyouka is rewarded in her not-interrupting, as the most pressing question on her mind, "did the kid survive" is answered in due time. It doesn't sound like it was pretty, but battlefield triage seldom is. Things don't have to be pretty if they work, and the kid being alive is surely the better outcome regardless of how distressing the process to keep him so.

    She purses her lips a little as Usagi explains how her anger got the better of her, and the way she took that anger out on the enemy. It's not a frown, exactly, but nor is it an expression of pleasure or approval. Wako says her piece, and after a moment more, she adds her own words in a careful tone which indicates she is picking them with care. Her reputation for ineloquence is known even to herself, and she doesn't want to stumble here.

    "Wako-chan is right." She says. "There are going to be times when you need to take care of an enemy for good. This person was clearly willing to hurt innocent people, children. She tried multiple times in front of you. If she had gotten away she surely would have tried again."

    She looks up at the sky briefly, hands still in her pockets. "I get that anger, too. The need to act, to do something that becomes so overwhelming you.. well, you do something. Without stopping to think about what you're gonna do first. Sometimes that's helpful, when you need to act fast and hesitating would be a mistake. And anger can be helpful, too. It pushes us to act, to stand up and fight when something is wrong and needs to be righted."

    "The thing is, you can't let that anger control you. Channeling it, gaining strength from it without losing control to it.. it's a skill. One that most people need to practice. Most people aren't put in that sort of situation often enough to practice it. But you probably will be, sorry to say."

    She gives a half smile. "At the end of the day, kid, you did a good thing in a bad way. It's not ideal. But it's still a good thing. Next time you can be better. Nobody's perfect, but the fact that you feel so bad about it now means that you recognize the problem, and that puts you ahead of the curve, in my experience."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Was killing her the right thing? Probably. It's not the first time Usagi's had to help - remove a threat, permanently. It's not even the first time she's been angry while doing it, not when there was Beryl, not when there was Eudial.

But this time...

Yeah. She nods slowly, with what Kyouka is saying. She did a good thing, but she did it in a bad way, and that's the problem.

"I felt so helpless. I couldn't stop her from hurting Junichi-kun, and I couldn't help him, after. All I could do was - fight, and that wasn't going to fix anything, and I was so angry..."

She shakes her head.

"I guess I understand Hinoiri-chan a little better. Riventon, too. I just - I needed to do something, and I couldn't do anything good, so I... did what I could do." There's a bitter twist to here lips, for a second. "I couldn't make a miracle - again."

Wako Agemaki has posed:
"Not being able to do anything feels awful." Wako says it quietly, but with unhesitating conviction. "It's a terrible feeling."

She pats Usagi's back lightly, quiet again for a bit while she contemplates what else to say. "Inai-sensei is right," she says at last. "I mean... none of us can change what happened. I don't think it's right, either, to beat yourself up because you couldn't make a miracle every time. But you can do better the next time."

She looks at Usagi and smiles just a little, gentle and encouraging. "You will do better next time, because it's you, Usagi-chan."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "You're wrong though, Usagi-chan." Kyouka says, and though her voice carries conviction (she firmly believes what she is saying), this is going to be one of those lessons of hers that others might disagree with. "Fighting can fix things. When you see injustice, you need to fight it. When you defeat people who do harm, you're fixing the harm they've yet to do. You're right that you can't undo what's already been done." She pauses a moment, recalling who she's talking to. "Most of the time. Fighting isn't going to reverse time and make the bad things not have happened. But removing the instigator, the one causing that harm, still makes things better. It fixes the problems they would have caused if you hadn't done anything."

    "You'll meet people who will tell you that violence isn't the answer. I wish that were true but the fact of the matter is, sometimes fighting is the only thing that works. Not everybody can do it, so those of us who can need to step up. You're doing that- you're good at that."

    She grimaces at the comparison to Hinoiri or Riventon. "The difference there, kid, is motive. You weren't angry for yourself. You were acting out of compassion for someone else. Motive matters. It's not the only thing that matters. But it does matter."

    "Miracles wouldn't be miracles if you could pull them off at whim, Usagi-chan." This with a sigh to the last statement, and a nod in agreement with Wako who says essentially the same thing. "Wako-chan is right. You're not the sort who repeats her mistakes. I know it sucks to feel like that, but consider it a motivator to do better."

    Inside, she might be mocking herself for hypocrisy. But she keeps it inside. Do as I say, kid, not as I do. Or have done, anyway.

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
It wouldn't be a miracle if she could call it on command. And maybe she shouldn't blame herself, for not being able to remake reality, life, death, all of it to her will -

But having broken through that veil once, it feels unfair that all she can do now is kill, when last year she could give life.

"I know fighting is important. And I know as much as I don't like it, I'm good at it. But - I wish it wasn't all I could do. Mamochan can heal, and Madoka-chan broke Sayaka-chan's contract and she put up her Labyrinth and I hated that all I could do was make sure she can't do it again, that's all."

She still hates it. She still hates that she couldn't stop her.

"...But I'll do better. I have to. This can't happen again."

Wako Agemaki has posed:
Wako pokes Usagi's shoulder lightly with the tip of her index finger. "Since when?" she asks, brows lifting. "It was all you could do right then, and that sucks, but you're even better with purification than I am, you know? And you've gotten so much stronger, even just since I've known you."

She settles back a little, looking upward at the sky for a second or two. "Maybe there's other ways you can use your power that you just haven't figured out yet. But saying fighting is all you can do is definitely wrong, anyway."

Kyouka Inai has posed:
    "Usagi-chan," and if Kyouka sounds a bit exasperated here, it's tinged with affection, "Fighting isn't all you can do. Trust me, as someone who actually is in that position. And can't even really do it anymore anyway." A mildly ironic twist of her mouth. She points at Wako as the girl again says more or less the same thing at nearly the same time.

    "But no offense, kid, if you think fighting is all you're good for, you're dumb. And I don't mean that in a 'do your homework and get better grades' way. I mean open your eyes and take a look at how people view you."

    "You inspire people, Usagi. You lead- sometimes directly, sometimes by example. There are lots of people who can fight. Probably some who can fight better than you, although you wouldn't catch me placing bets against you when the chips are down. Anyway, point is, fighting is a common skill in this field. Leading isn't."

    She waves a hand in dismissal of the protests she knows are coming, "And it's not about how you feel, or what you try to do. It's about what you actually do, and the way other people see what you do. You contribute more to this," a vague gesture around, encompassing the school, the magical world, the war between Light and Dark, "than just your fists. Trust me. You could never actually hit anybody ever again and as long as you still showed up you'd still be contributing."

    "And I'm not trying to sell Mamoru or Madoka-chan short. What they do is important too. Just sayin' that if you sell yourself short just because your talents lie in other directions, then you deserve those test scores. And I think we both know that's not true."

    

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"You're - Kyouka-sensei, you're going to make me cry again," Usagi sniffs, and that's not a real complaint, not from Usagi. "Okay. Okay, maybe that was - dumb. I know I do more than just fight, and it shouldn't just be one fight that throws me."

But it had.

"She was just - she laughed. The whole time, at the end. Because she knew I was - she knew there was dark energy in me, at the end, and she laughed because it meant I was like her, and I know - before you even say it! I'm not saying I'm a, a, child-killing, moral-less, terrorist creep, or anything! But I was angry, and I killed her because I was angry, and I was right to be angry, but I still - I have to keep my head."

She scrubs her face.

"It was just really hard. And it was - there's at least four more of them, and I worry they're all going to do things like that, and they're trying to kill people for - for helping another me... Junichi-kun's going to be in the hospital for - for a while. Mamochan is going to visit him and help, to - speed it up, but she - crushed his throat, and his like... his spine, his throat, his - everything in there is going to be a mess. And when I think about that - happening again..."

She's angry. And helpless. And lost.

Wako Agemaki has posed:
"Maybe they will." Wako's face is serious again, her honey-brown eyes holding on Usagi's. "But we're going to be more and more ready for them. Every time they try something, we're going to know more what they're capable of, and we're going to get better and better at stopping them before they can do things like what Koan did. We'll stop them."

Her hand settles on Usagi's shoulder again, lightly. "It was really hard. I can't even imagine how hard it was, seeing her do that to Junichi-kun. It'd probably be more weird if you were okay, after that."

Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Even though she has literally, not that long ago, thought about how she shouldn't mention to Wako that she really is a proper senpai - her serious demeanor, her calm reassurance - they both prompt the words anyway. "You're a really good senpai, Wako-chan."

Gratitude, and also, understanding. She leans in to the comforting touch, and nods.

"And you're right. We'll be ready next time - we'll know what they're... what they're capable of, and - we'll be ready to act."