581/Hopes
From Radiant Heart MUSH
Hopes | |
---|---|
Date of Scene: | 10 October 2023 |
Location: | Juuban Ward |
Synopsis: | Sailor Uranus and Sailor Moon talk about the worlds they hope to be able to see come about... and what they're willing to do for it. |
Cast of Characters: | Haruka Tenoh, Usagi Tsukino |
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
Not every youma that plagues Tokyo is the kind of thing that needs more than one magical girl and a load of stock footage attacks to be put down. With the barrier between worlds the way it is, some of the youma that make their way across from the Dusk Zone aren't the soldiers of some Dark Empire, they're just basically predatory animals, if those animals were made of shadows and claws and teeth. This one was far more bark than bite, and Sailor Moon had no problem dealing with it on her own, saving some salaryman it had been following without the hard-working father ever noticing his life was in danger. It's the kind of fight where being a magical girl feels fun and easy and right, where it's easy to convince yourself that all of the scary stuff isn't around.
So, after handling it and walking away, Usagi passes by an area convinently shadowed away from any of the lights, where a figure waits, leaning against the wall. She sees it, tall and looming, shadowy face, the glint of a weapon by its hand, very very close suddenly, and in the moment that fight/flight/freeze instincts and adrenaline are screaming in her mind...
"Yo." the figure says, casually in an androgenous voice. A step forward and out of the shadows and it's not an enemy, not Jadeite or any other Ites (including, perhaps sadly for her, a Hematite), but another Sailor Soldier, the one in the yellow and blue. The glint she saw was the handle of a long thin sword sitting at the girl's waist. A skirt, today, therefore looking for all the world like just another Senshi. But two past interactions with her have probably made some differences rather clear. To say nothing of this... startling way of greeting her. "Was waiting to catch up with you and talk." Sailor Uranus says. Does that mean she was watching and not helping - or that she'd just gotten here? "The last two times we've met haven't really been... intended meetings."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
The fight had been the kind Sailor Moon preferred - quick and simple, no headaches, no major twists or turns, just a flash of moonlight and her tiara, and a salary man was making his way home safe and sound, and Sailor Moon was free to keep up her patrol. She hadn't been the patrolling type, at first, but what with everything, it just seemed like a good idea - and a good way to keep moving, get some practice in without anyone seeing her take a prat fall off a train or a bus or a roof or some stairs or -
None of that, that was all.
So she definitely yelps and jumps a foot in the air when a figure appears in shadow, having been definitely hidden by the dark corners of an alley. Her hand flies not to a weapon, but to her heart, jackhammering in her chest, as she recognizes the figure - not as an enemy, but as Sailor Blue-and-Yellow. Sailor Probably Uranus, if Minako-chan had met the same mysterious Outer as Usagi.
Sailor Murderous, if Sailor Moon was feeling unfriendly, but she's not, even if their last and only interactions had been tinged with hostility and teasing.
"Waiting like in this alley, or waiting like you ran ahead of me to look cool against that wall, or something else?"
Just because she's the Soldier of Love and Justice, doesn't make her the Soldier Free-of-Snark! Especially when she's just been jumpscared.
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
"Waiting like thinking about our last two interactions a lot." She says. "And running ahead of you to look cool in the alley and see how high you jumped, yes." she notes, a smile on her face. And it's not a mean, wicked, murdery smile. It's... friendly? Or at least, could pass for it. It's friendly and a little awkward and some other emotions that it's hard to pick out among the others. "Just... neither of those two circumstances were... normal ones." she says. "When I'd gone out before that, with Neptune or Pluto, I never seemed to get embroiled in such... tense... situations, so the fact that it's happened twice when you're around is unlucky."
She motions for Sailor Moon to follow her as she walks out of the cramped and spooky pathway and towards something a lot more mundane - a small playground park. "Are you... the same person in and out of henshin? Is Sailor Moon the same person as whoever you are when you don't use your pen?" Well, Uranus uses a pen to henshin and she'd seen Usagi use one as part of a bluff against the youma, so it's only reasonable for her to assume Sailor Moon does too. "Or do you sometimes find yourself... acting in ways the normal you wouldn't?" she asks as she heads over to a swingset. Rather than sit in it, though, she climbs up into it, one foot on the seat, both hands gripping one of the chains, standing in it, rocking back and forth idly, like not moving is as much an enemy to her as youma.
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
She knew it! And yet, there's less tension, somehow, as Uranus teases her. Maybe it's because Sailor Moon is less - tense, in the moment, with the fight already won and no risk of unexpected, urgent philosophical torment. Maybe it's because Sailor Uranus is different - friendly, a little, and inviting her in on a joke, kind of awkward too, like maybe she's questioning herself. Sailor Moon isn't sure - can't be sure - but she likes it more than the cold confidence of their earlier encounters.
And then there's that idea brought up again - that those things weren't... normal. It's an echo of what Cure Wukong said, and Sailor Moon frowns, even as she follows Sailor Uranus, Sailor Blue-and-Yellow, relieved to be out of alleys and into a park. "You two are starting to make me think I'm really unlucky," she huffs, "Because the only thing too different about all of that was the murderiness of it all."
She pauses.
"Okay, well, a person turning into a youma was still pretty new. And asking for my identity, that was new too. But the rest - like I told Cure Wukong, this... the stakes are always kind of high. If it's not monsters tearing their way through a mall and exploding the place, it's a Dark Kingdom general or his minions hating me, or - well, there was that time with the ice cream."
She thinks on it wistfully. With her current perspective, Darien stealing her ice cream to spare her energy is cute, not annoying.
But, there's a question she's not prepared for, one she'd never even considered. Is Sailor Moon the same as Usagi Tsukino?
"I don't know who else I'd be," she says honestly. "Whether I'm Usagi or Sailor Moon, it's all still me. Is... it not like that for you?"
Unlike Sailor Fancy-Pants over there, she sits on her swing, pushing just a little - feet still mostly on the ground, just kinda rocking. No need to risk falling in front of an ally(?).
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
"As far as I can tell that might be a me thing." Uranus admits, shrugging. "Or more of a me-thing than it is for others. Or maybe it's a temporary thing." she adds, without a lot of clarity at first.
"Maybe I'm just still too new to all of..." and she gestures with one hand to herself and Sailor Moon "...this magical soldier stuff." she adds.
"But when I met Sailor Venus for the first time it was very... really confusing. I had this desire to help her, but I also had this coldness that I can't explain. Like she had dissapointed me. Which doesn't make any sense. As far as I know she's Sailor V-enus, hero of justice and stuff." she tells Sailor Moon. "And when I'm not in this outfit, I feel that way about both of you. But after I transform I have all these feelings, these half-memories. These emotions. They're not all negative, but some of them are." Uranus begins to explain.
"And, I think those feelings are from Sailor Uranus - not from the person I am the rest of my life. I think they're based on her memories, her past experiences with you." she says. "And I don't like the idea of being tied to them - of having a past I don't remember define my present. Not if it isn't important." Sailor Uranus begins. "But I don't know how important it really is."
"So, I want to know. If you know anything more about this than I do - than we do - and... I want to know why you were trying to save that girl's life. The kid at the party, I understand. I didn't want our enemy to think he had anything to bargain with, which is why I said what I said. You said what we were... both feeling, and I was trying to hide it." she adds. "But that girl you protected. The fire one. I don't get that." She pauses. "Or... I do get it, but... if you've been as unlucky as you say, how can you just continue letting our enemies get chance after chance to harm us and others?" she asks, and her hands grip the chain much more tightly, and she stops moving and just pauses, staring down at Sailor Moon."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
What Sailor Uranus describes makes Moon shiver a little in distaste; it was one thing to know you had a past life - who didn't? It was another to have it influencing your life though. To have it in your head, coming out in your thoughts? No thanks! She quickly shakes her head, frowning. "I don't think it's because you're new. Nothing like that happened to me when I was new - I was all on my own with this stuff, especially in my own head."
She'd been on her own in both ways - just her and Luna, figuring out what it meant to be a Senshi together, but also, she was on her own, as Usagi Tsukino. She prefers that - she's spent her whole life being Usagi. She's even being a more mature version of Usagi, not saying anything about Uranus being new but saying Usagi was the one seeing things in rainbows and happiness. Uranus was having adventures with Pluto and Neptune for her first times, but Moon was the one -
She was being mature about it.
She frowns even more about what Uranus has to say about meeting up with Venus - and meeting Usagi herself. So... a part of Uranus did feel like she was a hero of justice? Well, good! But. That other part?
"I don't have any memories of our past life," she says blunt and honest, "Maybe a few flashes, I guess, but they could just as much be dreams, you know? But you... Mars-chan is a psychic and Neptune told me about her visions too. Maybe you remember more because it's your special thing?"
It makes sense to her, at least. And it's easier to deal with than the rest. Because to have disappointed someone she didn't remember knowing, didn't remember doing anything too - well, that sucked a bit, actually! "I think our past is important. I don't remember it, but our enemies probably do, and you kinda do, and some of the others have too," she is loyally not sharing names. "But it was pretty obvious you were disappointed in me. She's disappointed in me. Maybe all of you are, and there's grudges, too, but, I can't answer for those, you know? I don't know what happened back then. I can only talk about what's happening now."
And she turns, looking directly at Uranus, her jaw firm and her eyes calm. "I saved Sunbreaker's life because she shouldn't be killed for what she might do. If you wanted to fight her, because she hurt people, if you thought she should be in the hospital for what she did - I wouldn't let you just kick her while she was down, but if she was fighting, I wouldn't stop you. But I'm not going to stand by and watch murder. That's not the kind of person I want to be. That's not what justice means to me! Maybe I'm unlucky, or maybe I'm just strong, and all these things are happening to me because someone out there decided I'm strong enough to handle it. I have more power than a lot of magical kids, and I get back up when I get knocked down."
She shakes her head, twintails flapping, shorter bangs knocked about.
"I don't like fighting. I don't like hurting people, or watching people get hurt. I would have never, ever picked to have all this power dumped on me! But I have it and that means I have to use it right. This is what I think is right. Sunbreaker hurt people, but she didn't kill them, and she didn't want to. She could. She could easily. She's kind of stupid in the way all super smart kids are and reckless and mean and no one's ever come back for her."
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
And Sailor Uranus for her part, quietly looks at Sailor Moon, lets her say all of that, think all of that. And the first words she says aren't cold or cruel. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trouble you. My problems are mine, and I'll do my best not to unfairly judge you for things a past you might or might not have done." she says. She doesn't elaborate more, or go back to her personal confusion. To her, it's now back to just being a her problem - and maybe therefore a Michiru and Setsuna problem by fact, but not a Sailor Moon, Venus, or the others Problem.
"But I don't know if we're going to be able to work together like I'd hoped, either. Not just because of the feelings I have from the past..." she says. And sighs. She looks down and kind of pulls at the leotard around her neck. "These don't look much like military uniforms, so I'm not surprised it's hard for you to see yourself a soldier." she says. "I mean, I almost laughed the first time I saw Neptune, except for the fact that I was in shock about it." She continues. "But then you see them blunt some monster's claws or allow you to survive a fall too high up, or whatever and you realize this is exactly what these transformations are for. They're for fighting. Battling. Going to war." she notes. "I don't want to be a warrior, either. You know? None of us chose this path."
"But I am one. And with someone like that girl - or like the monster in the hat - things don't have to be dangerous to kill. After all, the youma in the hat only -threatened- to kill a little kid, but it didn't kill anyone. And yet, you were fine clearing it off the face of the earth - like you should have." Sailor Uranus says. "It's not murder if they've thrown fire at you first. You say she hasn't killed anybody yet - but I'm sure you've erased a fair few youma that haven't either. You attacked the one tonight because it was prowling, right?" Ah, so she -was- watching without helping. "Stalking that man. You didn't wait for it to sink its jaws into his neck." she says.
"That girl is the same. She's the monster in the night, prowling after you and others."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"You're not troubling me," Usagi says, because this is true - none of this is troubling her, except for wondering if it could happen to her. She can't say they're friends, but she's always inviting herself to other people's problems, so why not to one of her fellow Senshis?
But then. Well.
"Are you a soldier so you can kill people or a soldier so you can protect people?" And maybe the words are sharp, maybe they're unwarranted, but Sailor Moon is irritated just like that, not filled with wounded pride but instead with the frustration of someone underestimated. "You look at us and see a military uniform - well, maybe we're warriors, and maybe we call ourselves soldiers, but there's more to that than turning people into bodies. You look at our powers and see them as proof we're meant to go to war? I see them as proof we're meant to protect people. To take the hits other people can't."
"The difference between Sunbreaker and that hat and the youma I killed tonight is they aren't people. That hat was made to corrupt that boy, so someone could jerk us around. That youma I fought was hungry. You can't talk to something that can't understand you. Neither of them are people. Sunbreaker's a person. She's a bad person, a mean person, a person who's pitiful, but she's still a person, and it's murder if she's on the ground crying and you're the one holding the weapon. It's murder when the fight is over and you keep pushing."
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
"You have a lot more faith in people than I do, Sailor Moon." Sailor Uranus says, sighing. "And a lot more faith in your own abilities than I have in either of ours, frankly." she says. "For what it's worth I really hope you're right."
"But your hair was singed, your body was burned. You also have a lot of faith in the control of a girl who was still trying to swing at you while she was on the ground." Sailor Uranus notes. "She was still fighting too, as best as she could at the moment." she adds. "How many people is she allowed to injure before it's too many? Can she hurt them as much as she wants as long as she avoids killing them and then be as able to count on your protection all the same as that man tonight?" she asks. And it's not even angry. Of the two of them, an outsider observer might think Sailor Moon was the one more actually mad. Sailor Uranus is cold but not yelling, frustrated perhaps.
"Should we not have gotten involved at all? When she was standing there in front of you - while you were downed - and showing you absolutely no such courtesy? Maybe we should have all stood there waiting to see if her next hit was truly going to be fatal, or just hurt a lot." she adds. The words are getting colder, though. "Because next time we might not have the choice. Next time she's standing over you - or some other girl - or some random guy walking home at night... next time we might not be around. Then all you are able to rely on is hoping for the better nature of a girl who's already been a threat to you." she says. "You're worried about what she deserves... and I'm worried about what that man deserves. Or what the other Magical Girls deserve. They don't deserve to be put into the hosptial, Sailor Moon. They don't deserve to be burned. To be hurt. To be in pain. And we can't be everywhere at once. People like that girl - you're relying on us being there every single time to stop her. She only has to lose control once. We have to be in control every single time."
"I wish I had the faith in that, that you seem to."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
It's not the nicest thing to do, but Sailor Moon snorts. Just, outright snorts, like she's got a laugh just begging to come out and she doesn't want it too. "You've never been that sad? That mad? That just - don't look at me, don't touch me, I'm so mad, but I don't want to hurt you, upset?"
Usagi had. Sure, she'd lived a charmed life in many ways, and sure, she's never really reflected on that life, not too much, but she's been a kid, and she's been mad and sad and throwing herself down on the ground, crying and smacking her toys without any real strength, just not wanting to give up. At the end there, she can't see Sunbreaker trying to really hurt her. She just sees someone so upset that they don't know what else to do.
It's not like Usagi's super smart. She knows that about herself. But she's got a knack for people.
"I'm not unbeatable. We both know that. But I picked that fight with Sunbreaker, and she let me have it. I'm not saying I deserved it, because it sucked, and I didn't, but I thought I could take her, and I underestimated her, and she whalloped me. And I'm glad you helped me, because I needed that help, and unlike Sunbreaker I'm not ashamed to admit it." She's never gotten anywhere in her life alone. She's always had to rely on her friends, and that's partly why she's always made friends - she loves people and she hates being alone and together people can do more.
"It's not about fighting her. It's about murdering her! You keep acting like it's nothing, like because she hurt people she's nothing. I know what she did! I was there! I'm the one she burned! Like I told you then, you keep acting like we don't know, but we're some of the ones she hurt. I've been doing this for a lot longer than you. You, you, not Uranus. People don't just get executed for their crimes. They go to jail, or they go to therapy, or they get exiled. They don't just kill people. And they shouldn't just kill people. Having power doesn't make us gods."
"If I catch you trying to kill her again, when she's on the ground and helpless, yeah, I'm going to stop you. You can count on that, and so can she. I'd do the same for anyone."
She shakes her head. "They don't deserve that. But they don't deserve to know someone's dead because of them, for them, either. You think it would make anyone feel better, to know that someone's dead because of them?"
She exhales, long and low and frustrated. "Besides, that's not even getting into the like, practical stuff. Did you ever think about what happens when we start killing, before the bad guys? This whole thing, maybe you don't go to Radiant Heart, I don't know, but plenty of us do, and the bad guys know that too. You think they're going to hesitate to do something about that, once we start killing before they ever did?"
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
"I thought the whole thing with the birthday party wasn't new to you." Sailor Uranus says, in reply. "They've already threatened the lives of children once while I was there. And your life. Isn't that what you told me?" Sailor Uranus asks. "You can't have it both ways. That experience can't be both out of the ordinary and perfectly normal." Sailor Uranus pauses. "I don't think that youma wanted to know your real identity so it could throw you an awesome party, Sailor Moon. It wanted to use it to hurt you. Probably, by hurting you when you're out of henshin and maybe by going after those close to you." She says.
"I... you know, all of the bad things aside, another thing I feel is that... you're like a little sister in a way - or maybe a little cousin. I want to protect you." Sailor Uranus admits. "And that youma, it probably wasn't working alone. And it was after you. Specifically. If it was a person would you have let them live? If that was Sunspot with a hand on fire threatening to burn a child if you didn't give up your identity so she could hunt you down, would you have let her crawl away then, too?"
"I've been a lot of emotions before but I've never once done as much damage to anyone as Sunbreaker did - I've never put anyone into the hospital, even people who probably deserved it." she admits, and doesn't realize in a sense that undermines her point.
"Do you know why we're here as Sailor Senshi, in this time?" Sailor Uranus asks, after a pause. "It's not because we won the last fight, Sailor Moon. I may not know the details - but I know we didn't win. I can feel that in my soul. This is a do-over. Not a victory lap."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Sailor Moon throws her hands up, frustrated. "That's not what I'm saying! I'm saying that they haven't managed it. They haven't managed to kill any of us, even though they're trying, and even though they want to. That doesn't mean that they won't someday. I know that. I'm not stupid. One of us could die. More than one, even, probably, because there's more of us now than there ever used to be, and more of them too. But we're the good guys. And if we do kill one of them first, before they kill any of us, or even put one of us out of commission for good, they're all going to want to kill us."
She can picture it, total open season. Once one side starts breaking the rules, everyone can. Once you start hacking your game, why can't everyone?
"I don't know why you seem to think I just - don't think about these things, that I haven't thought about these things, that I haven't lived them. My family's already been in trouble. My best friend got kidnapped. My -" she's not saying anything about Darien. Not to Uranus. Never to Uranus.
Sailor Moon shakes her head instead, frustrated. "I'm not your little sister. I'm not your cousin. I'm a Senshi too and I've been one longer than you. I have to think about these things too! If Sunbreaker was threatening to kill a kid, I would beat her up to save that kid. And if she killed that kid - I don't know what I'd do." Her head comes up, and her eyes are harder, for a moment.
"But I do know that she wasn't a threat anymore when Pluto decided to kill her because she decided she wasn't a person anymore, and that wasn't about Sunbreaker. That was about her and this -" she pauses. She frowns. She stares at Uranus, for a long moment. "Are you really going to kill someone, because once upon a time we died?"
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
"You think they don't already want to kill us?" she asks. "You really do have a lot of faith in people like Sunbreaker." Sailor Uranus adds, sighing. It's a defeated sigh. From Uranus' perspective the enemy is already hacking, it's just not enough.
"No. No, I'm not." She stands up and walks around and looks up. The Moon is out, because the Moon is always out when it needs to be. She looks up at it, quietly. "I'm not going to kill anyone because of what happened in the past." she repeats. "But to prevent a tragedy like the one I feel in my heart from happening again, from happening in this time?" she asks, looking down at her hands. "I don't know how many people died back then, Sailor Moon. I can't remember. I'm trying, I think. But maybe I can't, or maybe she doesn't want to remember." Sailor Uranus says. "And hey, if I ever find out, I'll tell you."
"But I think what this comes down to is that... you're afraid of the consequences of an action like this, of our actions - Sailor Senshi and others. But me? I'm afraid of the consequences of our inaction. Of standing by and waiting for them to cross whatever final line means we stop letting them be a threat to us, to our friends, to the eight billion people on this planet who aren't magical and have no means of defending themselves. Who are, just like that man tonight, unaware of the threats and incapable of doing anything about them."
"And there's... one other thing. Just because someone isn't a shadow-beast from the Dusk Zone doesn't make them not a monster. Just because Sunbreaker looks like us doesn't make her closer to us than that monster you turned to dust tonight." Uranus says, still staring at the moon - the desolate, blasted, empty moon, the sense of loss she feels when she looks at it intense. "I want you to be right, Sailor Moon. I want us to win this war without hurting anyone. I didn't take the pen so I could hurt someone. I took it so I could protect someone. So I could help someone fighting her heart out. So I could help my friends defend this world." she says. "I hope I'm wrong about what it'll take." She shakes her head. "I just don't think I am. I don't think you can save our enemies without losing our allies, friends, and civilians."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Some of them want to kill us. Some of them don't care if we die. Sunbreaker doesn't want to kill anyone. She's making mistakes and she's going to regret them for the rest of her life," Usagi says, and she meanas that. She trusts Tuxedo Kamen, who pointed it out to her, even if she doesn't fully know why. She trusts Naru-chan, and her own gut. "Sunbreaker's hurt a lot of people. But if she wanted to kill people, she'd kill them. She's smart, and talented, and she's good at what she does. Fire kills people all the time, on accident. I'm not saying she's a good guy, and I'm not - I don't even know if I want to convince her to be one. But if she was as much of a killer as you think she is, she'd have done it by now, and she'd have done it a lot."
That's why she thinks it's unlikely. That, and the fact that at the end of the day what had made Sunbreaker burn her was Usagi hitting spots that she knew would hurt, and underestimating how much it would hurt. She should have thought more carefully.
She tilts her head back. She closes her eyes. "Probably a lot of them," she says, and it's not calm or cute or snarky, just honest, just the thoughts that have swum in her mind since Neptune told her there were multiple apocalyspes coming, since Rei-chan listed the signs, since Inai-sensei shared the Midnight Tokyo Project. "Lots of people want to end the world. Our job is stopping them. If we failed, then - probably someone's world ended. And probably a lot of people died. But that's not Sunbreaker's fault."
And she cracks her lips in a smile. It's not a happy one.
"I'm scared of what will happen if we start killing people, yeah. Not just because they'll come after us worse than before, and that's probably going to be bad for a lot of people, because Cure Wukong was really upset. I'm scared for us too. Once we start killing people because we're afraid of what might happen, where's it going to stop? When's it going to stop? How are you going to live when our powers stop working?" How is she going to live when her powers stop working? A part of her looks forward to it. The end to the fighting and the struggle and the fear that every time she goes shopping the mall will explode. Another part of her, new and sad, thinks it will never stop, she just won't be able to help anyone, anymore.
Inai-sensei said people grew out of their powers. That the power ended, but the danger didn't. The more she learns, the more she's sure that's right, but also, it means - someday they'll have to live without it.
"What makes Sunbreaker closer to us than those monsters is that she has reasons. I don't get them yet, but they're there. I'm pretty sure I stabbed my heel in one when she beat me up. There's - there are people who are monsters." She thinks about Hannah's uncle, trying to kill her for power, wearing her spirit down everyday. She thinks about Mamoru's boss, the lady who creeps him out and scares him and makes him so uncomfortable, when he can't do anything about it. She thinks about Sunbreaker and burns and agony and the terrible fear that her power would fail and she'd burn to a crisp - and she thinks about her sobbing over her injury. Crying on the ground, soaked and bruised. Shoving a file in Naru's arms, even though she didn't have to.
"We've already hurt people. But maybe you're ready to murder your way through this. I'm not." Sailor Moon breathes out. Her fuku glows, her tiara shines. When it fades, the power is gone.
"My name is Usagi Tsukino, Uranus-san. I took my broach to save my best friend. She doesn't have any powers. She doesn't have magic to hide her face. That's why I was willing to risk it for that little girl. If Naru-chan can face this without a shield, why can't I? It's not about saving our enemies. It's about saving us, too. I want to be someone I can like. I want to be someone I love. I want to be the person I am, not the person I died as, a long, long time ago."
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
And the worst part is - Uranus is actually considering what Sailor Moon has to say. She's not just blowing her off or trying soley to convince her of the short-haired blonde's own perspective. She's listening, and its evident. There's a long silence - particuarly after Sailor Moon becomes Usagi Tsukino - where it's clear she's giving it due thought.
After a long pause, Uranus finally speaks. "I'm jealous of you." she says. "For a lot of reasons." she admits. And she doesn't explain them. She turns to look at her, and smiles again, one of those half smiles. "You know, Neptune though I was a Sailor Senshi long before I had my pen, before I was one." she says. "I kind of... figured out the deal with her and Pluto... early. But the idea that I would ever do the same things, it always seemed far-fetched." she admits. "Because I don't look at myself and see the kind of person who should be responsible for it. I'd see someone more like you than me. The kind of hero I felt I'd become wasn't the same one as I imagined in my head when I thought of someone who goes out and fights monsters and protects others."
"And here we are, having a discussion like this. Both of us, on opposite ends, but both of us are in the same kind of outfit with powers given to us both, apparently from some thing in space." She puts her hands behind her back, interlocks her fingers, and stretches, arching her back. "What do you think that means, then?" she asks. "Maybe it doesn't mean anything." she says, shrugging a bit as she lets go of her hands.
"...Before Usagi Tsukino became Sailor Moon, she must have lived a good life, a safe life, to have these thoughts." she notes. "To know the person you want to be so you can guide your path. To see it so clearly and with such conviction that standing here I want to believe you too." She makes a Tch sound and smiles. "And now I'm still trying to figure out where I end and Sailor Uranus begins."
She shakes her head. "That's not... what I meant to get to saying, though." she notes. "My path has brought me here same as you, but with a different perspective, it seems. And the fact is, I can't assume you won't be true to yourself - or that I won't be true to myself. The trouble is, it seems like our paths don't run side-by-side, but might only meet at intersections."
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
Sailor Uranus isn't a monster either, of course. She's a person, and she doesn't frighten Usagi. That's the part that makes her think, maybe there is something of Sailor Moon that isn't Usagi Tsukino. Because Usagi Tsukino should be more scared, of someone with this conviction, when her boyfriend is the leader of the Dark Kingdom's generals, their Shitennou. Instead, even though she fears what Uranus would do to others, she doesn't fear for herself at all.
"No one's ever been jealous of me," Usagi says, "Or at least, they never told me they were. I'm... you know I could say that about you, right? Not the jealousy part, but, the knowing. I'm not that cool. I'm not like, dumb, but I'm not all that smart either. Usagi Tsukino... is a crybaby and a klutz and kind of a coward, but don't tell anybody that last bit. She thinks she wants to be a beautiful housewife when she grows up, but maybe something will turn out differently."
Her smile is wry, her tone unembarrassed. "I've had a pretty great life. I love my mama and papa and Shingo-kun. I didn't really think about all this stuff, when I wasn't, y'know, like this, but stuff happens. I'm trying to follow the sage advice of my elders; get gud."
That's a joke, the first in a while.
"We're allies. But... that's what it seems like. We don't want all the same things. And maybe we have some of the same goals - find the princess, protect the, you know. But I'm not like you all, and you're not like me." It's. Sad, actually. To have met more Senshi, to have gotten to see them in action - and it's all this.
- Haruka Tenoh has posed:
"I haven't had a pretty great life." she admits. "Not at all. Not until recently. Things changed. And I don't want to lose those good things." she continues. "No... I refuse to lose them." She takes a breath, turns away from Usagi for a moment, looks up at the stars, closes her eyes, feels the wind. The way the wind moves.
For a moment, the air is still. Then there's a great gust of wind that blows the other blonde's twintails fiercely for a moment. And Sailor Uranus turns back around and fixes Usagi with a glare that is stern and devoid of any doubt. "Usagi Tsukino." Sailor Uranus says, her voice actually losing all of that lack of sureness, and instead coming out of her mouth with a conviction to rival the other girl's. "No... Sailor Moon."
"We aren't the same. The Outer Senshi and the Inner Senshi." she says, firmly. "We're not your enemies. But I'm not sure you can call us your allies, either." she continues. "I don't want to see harm come to you, or the others, and I will step in to prevent that. But... inaction on our parts, at the behest of another, cost us dearly once already." she continues. "Stay out of our way and the relationship can at least remain cordial. I'd prefer that." she says. "But I won't let anyone - even you - put this world at risk. That's what I've decided. Otherwise... I can't be the person I respect. I will never stand idly by again while evil gathers its strength. I'll take the hard roads." And she turns. "So next time... don't interfere. That way we can stay somewhat friendly."
She knows, likely, that Sailor Moon would absolutely interfere in the same situation again. She just hopes she wouldn't. Or that she wouldn't be around next time it came to that. That's her hope as she walks away, her boots clacking on the concrete and echoing around the small playground eerily. The wind in Tokyo tonight is a dead, still thing now.
- Usagi Tsukino has posed:
"Sounds like we both have people we want to be then. Things we want to do," she says, and there's a weight to it, sadness. They aren't allies. They aren't enemies - but they could be. If Uranus will be like this - if the Outer Senshi will be like this -
"I won't promise that. But I won't promise that the other Inner Senshi agree with me, either. I'm their leader, but I won't drag them into conflict with you all." She still doesn't think she should be leader, doesn't know what the others will think of this, especially after her conversation with Minako-chan, but -
"I'll stop you though. If I catch another hunt in action." It's a promise.
Uranus turns away. Usagi watches - and only when she's gone does she start her own walk home.